


Dancing in the Dark

by CoffeeFairy



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: 1980s, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Resolved Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-04-07 11:20:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 69,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14079777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeFairy/pseuds/CoffeeFairy
Summary: Seventeen-year-old Jefferson Madden can't wait to blow off Storybrooke High and the small-town life. Percy Whale thought he knew all that Storybrooke High had to teach him. When the world of the school rebel and the resident nerd clash, everything they thought they knew changes. Mad Whale, mentions of Red Cricket, Swanfire and Snowing. Rated for parts of later chapters.Chapter 17 ExcerptKicking the closest thing to hand, a plastic garden gnome, it clattered over the deck. Tossing his cigarette over the railing, hearing a quick hiss as it sank into the snow he groaned, bent over the banister and stared at the ground. What the hell was wrong with him? Why did he feel like he had a million ants attacking his muscles, his brain? Why did he go through the day feeling like something was wrong? Like a shirt with the button in the wrong button hole, or a stone in your shoe, it was just a nagging, constant annoyance that something was out of place. He even knew what was out of place, it was him. But where he was meant to be stumped him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the 120+k 80's High School AU nobody asked for that I wrote anyway. All ships should have a few and I thought I'd throw my (top)hat in for Mad Whale. This is a slow burn - I mean it, these dorks don't touch for a long time and we have to sail across the sea of Mutual Pining before we reach the Promised Land of Smut. If that's your cup of tea, then pull up a chair, make yourself comfortable and read on.

September, 1988

 

Jefferson Madden pulled into the school parking lot, music pounding from the speakers and streaming through the open windows of the black BMW convertible. The sun was setting and pushing his Wayfarers higher to shield his eyes, he parked under the large oak tree on the edge of the lot. Pushing the door to the car open he stepped out. He’d been looking for somewhere he could be alone and the school parking lot three hours after even the most diligent after school club had let out had left the place deserted. Perfect.

 

Slamming the door closed he pulled a cigarette from the pack with his teeth just as the song died out. In the quiet he heard a muted knocking noise and he looked around. There was no one but him. Leaning back into the car he pushed pause on the stereo and listened again. There was a knocking sound and a vague, echoing voice. Putting the cigarette back in the pack he ventured toward where the sound came from.

 

“Hello?”

 

His voice was met by a more frantic knock and closer now he looked around. There was no one, just the dumpsters, with cigarette butts and candy wrappers littering the ground. The knocking sounded again and he realized there was someone in the dumpster. With pity sinking in his stomach he shook his head. Kids sucked. Pulling the bar someone had pushed through the handle so it couldn’t be opened from inside he heaved the lid open and peered inside.

 

A scrawny, blonde kid sat crouched on top of a heap of dry recycling. Blinking in the light pouring in he probably couldn’t see who had opened the lid and he shrank back against the metal.

 

“You okay there?”

 

“Yeah, I love to sit in small, dirty, dark spaces and freeze.”

 

Jeff snorted at the sarcasm, surprised the boy could be witty under the circumstances.

 

“Well, don’t let me interrupt you then. Do you want the bar put back on or do you prefer to be able to leave when you want?”

 

“Ha ha. Give me hand out, will you?”

 

Reaching into the dumpster Jeff helped him to climb out. Stiff from sitting in the small space the kid stumbled once he was on the ground again. Steadying him Jeff felt he was cold to the touch and frowned.

 

“How long have you been in there?”

 

“Depends on what time it is. They caught up to me after French club.”

 

“Clubs let out three hours ago.” He lead the other boy to lean on his car. “Were they going to leave you there all night? That’s not a joke, it’s getting really cold at night.”

 

“Who knows. I would’ve been in time for school tomorrow without trying very hard.”

 

Jeff chuckled again and searched his memory for a name. He’d seen the kid before but not realized he was funny.

 

“It’s...P something? Peter, right?”

 

The scrawny kid crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“It’s Percy, Jefferson. We’ve been in the same class for two years.”

 

“Right. Percy….”

 

“Whale. Percy Whale,” he rolled his eyes. “If you came to school more often you might know the name of your classmates.”

 

“I’m here now, aren’t I?” Jeff joked and gestured to the school as if it were his kingdom.

 

“What use is it being here after all the classes are done and the school is locked?”

 

“That’s some big words from someone who has my irregular hours to thank for not spending a night in a dumpster.”

 

Percy’s lips twitched into a smile and Jeff realized the guy wasn’t as much of a shadow of a person as he’d thought. Sure, the bow tie, shirt, pullover vest and trousers with front pleats were beyond nerdy and the blonde hair parted too far to the side and combed into a stiff, wet look was ridiculous. But he had an attractive face hidden under the slicked hair and heavy frames. He was tall, as tall as Jeff, and the scrawniness seemed to be more the ill fitting clothes than actually being skinny. He was more lean and wiry.

 

Realizing the other boy was shivering he stopped staring at him, a habit that tended to unnerve people anyway, and reached into the car.

 

“Here.” He handed Percy his letterman jacket, a leftover from when he’d been on the baseball team. His grades and poor attendance had ended his short athletic career and now all that was left of it was the jacket.

 

“I’m a bit… smelly.”

 

“It’s dry recycling you were in. That jacket’s been covered in worse.”

 

Hesitantly Percy pulled it on and Jeff took out his cigarettes again. Lighting it, he took a drag.

 

“There’s a flask in the pocket. Ought to warm you up.”

 

“Oh. I don’t drink.”

 

“No? If someone dropped me in a dumpster that’s the first thing I’d do.”

 

“Jefferson, no one would put you in a dumpster. People like you. You’re popular.”

 

“I am rather irresistible.” Speaking with the cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth he turned the music back on and tossed his sunglasses on the driver’s seat. The sun had set now anyway. Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen picked up where he'd paused it.

 

“And somewhat conceited.”

 

Jeff flashed a smile.

 

“Granted. Want to sit on the hood of the car and poke at my ego? Maybe you could take it down a couple of notches.”

 

“As tempting as that sounds I have to get home. If my parents find out I was put in a dumpster again my dad’s going to take me out back and try to teach me how to fight. Again.” He looked away, across the parking lot and Jeff felt a tug of familiarity in his stomach. He knew what that look meant, knew what “my dad” uttered in that tone meant. His own relationship with his father was no Brady Bunch Special.

 

“Next time. Want a ride home?”

 

“So you can drop me in another dumpster closer to town?”

 

“Ah, you saw right through my cunning plan!” He flicked the cigarette away. “No, because you’re cold and it’s late and maybe your dad will think you were hanging out with me instead of being trapped in a dumpster. Again.” A flicker of anger that this kid who was funny and smart had to be afraid of going to school, of going home after school flashed through him. Just because he didn’t dress right or had the right flippant attitude most teenagers understood.

 

He read tension and then defeat in Percy’s stance. It looked like he’d been debating with himself but had decided he was just too tired to fight his instincts. So he shrugged.

 

“Right, get in.”

 

Following suit he aligned the rearview mirror, checked no one was behind him and then roared out of the parking lot, the hood still down. The chilly night air swept over them and he enjoyed the sensation of wind through his hair, caressing his face. The next song picked up and hearing the intro for another one of his favourites, Jeff turned it up. Dancing in the Dark was replaced by Billy Idol yelling about Rebels. It pounded out in the night and he tapped the beat out on the steering wheel.

 

“Could you turn it down, please?”

 

“Not an Idol fan?”

 

“I like it but my dad…”

 

“Ah. Gotcha. Well, any other day when I heard someone didn’t like Billy Idol I’d turn it up but I figure you’ve had a rough enough day.”

 

Lowering the volume, he turned into what Percy told him was his street. Tidy houses that all looked the same except being painted different pastel shades with post stamp lawns in front. All had an American flag hanging outside and a rocker on the small porch. To Jefferson, instead of looking cozy, it just looked like everyone was keeping tabs on their neighbours. Making sure their flags hung straight and the grass didn’t grow too tall over the next fence. It made his skin crawl. He wanted to see something lopsided, out of line, askew. Something to break up the monotony.

 

Pulling up in front of a house painted a pale green with a white rocker on the porch he flicked the stereo off.

 

“Here we are. See you around, Percy.”

 

“Yeah, if you ever come to school.”

 

“Ooh, sass.”

 

“Still. I…” He looked out the window, frowned slightly. “Thanks. For pulling me out of that dumpster.”

 

“Anyone would. Now scoot, I don’t want your dad to think I’m one of those ne’er do wells who sits in parked cars all night.”

 

“Right. Bye.” Leaving the letterman jacket on the seat he got out and slipped into the green house. With a last wave that Percy couldn’t see Jeff backed out of the drive. He made it to the end of the street before he couldn’t help himself any longer and with a little jerk of the wheel he drove into one of the mailboxes at the end of a drive. The post bent and with a smile at the crooked box he started driving home.

 

o.O.o

 

Percy Whale was confused. Last night he had been on his way home when Sidney Glass and his cronies had caught up to him after French club. Usually he was fast enough to slip away but they’d been lying in wait for him and he’d still been struggling with the conjunctive adverbs in his head and hadn’t been paying attention. The result had been getting trapped in the dry recycling dumpster, feeling pathetic that he was grateful it wasn’t the normal trash. He’d been about to resign himself to a freezing night when he’d heard music. Wondering if it had been the jocks coming back he’d still called for help, hoping against hope it was someone else.

 

It had been. Jefferson Madden was the school wild child and perhaps the last person Percy expected to see on school grounds after hours. Still, there he’d been, helping him out of the dumpster and even lending him his jacket while they leaned against his black convertible. The car alone would have been enough to buy anyone popularity but on top of it Jeff was blessed with money, looks and a devil-may-care attitude that made him irresistible to high schoolers.

 

Expecting him, being a popular kid, to pounce at any second and either put him back in the dumpster or find something else heinous to do he’d been waiting for the moment the false camaraderie would end. But Jefferson had just leaned against his car, smoked a cigarette, lent him his jacket and been surprisingly funny in a self-deprecating way he’d never expected.

 

Then he’d driven him home, music blasting from the speakers and the hood pulled down as if he didn’t care who saw him with the school reject in his car. The rock and roll had been loud and the air had brushed against his face and for a brief moment Percy had almost felt as if he belonged in that car too. Listening to the same music, nodding to the same beat, the same air against his face. Jefferson had looked a bit like a rock star himself, his hands sure on the wheel with the wind toying with his brown hair. The ends of it were sun bleached after the summer. His eyes were a greyish blue and his thick eyebrows gave them an introspective quality. A square jaw and a bit of a stubble he knew more than one teenage boy had to envy him strengthened the impression of rocker. Nothing in his appearance matched with how he’d behaved. He’d been...nice. Funny. 

Percy didn’t get it.

 

He’d survived high school this long because he was good at reading people and their intentions but when it came to Jefferson he was either off the mark for once or the other boy was building up to something really big once Percy actually trusted him

 

“Perce? Are you okay?” His thoughts were interrupted by Sneezy’s voice. Though his name was Tom Clarke his friend was small and had severe allergies all year around so he’d always been known as Sneezy.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” They were sitting in the library getting through their extra credit math homework. This didn’t usually present him with any problems but today he had a hard time concentrating. He could solve most mysteries but Jefferson Madden's behaviour last night stumped him.

 

“I have to go now. Shakespeare club is starting soon.” 

Glancing up at the clock Percy was surprised to see the time. Normally he could finish his extra credit stuff before after school clubs started.

 

“Oh, right. Let’s go.”

 

“You have debate club, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah, til 5. So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

 

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

 

Sneezy and him were friends, he had a feeling, mostly out of necessity. They didn’t share any interests besides school but both sensed it was safer to be two than one. It was an unspoken agreement between them.

 

He set off down the hall and took the stairs to get to debate club which was in the third floor corridor. Normally the stairs in the wings were safer than the central stair. He’d gotten halfway down the corridor when a door swung open and Jefferson all but fell out. Blinking, Percy stopped, his hands on the straps of his book bag.

 

“There’s a room here, did you know that?”

 

“...Yes. It’s a supply closet.”

 

“Well, it is just fascinating,” Jefferson grinned and the reason why the room held appeal appeared behind him. One of the juniors, a cheerleader, Percy registered.

 

“Okay. I’ll take your word for it.” With an amused shake of his head he steered past them and entered the classroom where the debating club worked.

 

A little past 5 he looked both ways before descending the central stairs. Poking his head out of the main doors he saw a group of people in the parking lot and his heart sank. He was going to have to hope the back door was unlocked or wait until they dispersed. Then he spotted that it was Jefferson’s car and the people around it were his friends. Though there were a concerning amount of letterman jackets he hesitated about turning back. Would it be okay? Steps coming down the central stair behind him convinced him and pushing the door open he tried to make himself as small as possible as he hurried across the parking lot.

 

Glancing behind him he saw Jefferson raise his hand in a wave and though it was hard to tell from the distance he thought he was smiling behind his Wayfarers.

 

The next day when he exited the school, running late because of chem lab homework he spotted Jefferson in the parking lot again. Sitting on the hood of his car, smoking, the pinprick of light that was the end of his cigarette glowing in the half-dusk. Hitching his bag higher he glanced at the relative safety of the school gates. Hesitated. Then he walked over to the black car.

 

“Are you following me?”

 

“Following you? I go here, remember?”

 

“I remember you never stay a minute after you absolutely have to, if that. This is the third day in a row you’ve been in the parking lot long after school is out.”

 

Jefferson took a drag of smoke before exhaling slowly.

 

“You think I’m sitting out here because of you?”

 

“I do, and you don’t need to. I don’t need your charity, or anyone else’s.”

 

Jefferson’s eyes narrowed, temper flashing for a second. Then the unflappable mask was back in place again as he shrugged elegantly.

 

“Percy, I have better things to do than babysit you. I’m here because it’s quiet and because it’s the last place in town my dad would think of to look for me.”

 

“Oh.” Uncertainly he shifted his book bag. It was heavy today, he’d needed two reference books from the school library as well as his notes. “Then I guess I’m sorry. It just seemed like…”

 

“Never mind that.” He slid off the hood and tossed his cigarette. “I’m heading to Granny’s, wanna come?”

 

“No, I can’t go to the Diner.”

 

“Says who?”

 

“Sidney Glass, for one.”

 

“Sidney My Ass. Do you want to go?” For a wild moment Percy actually did. Wanted to go and be part of a normal, teenage afternoon. Sit next to Jefferson in a booth and just be. Not looking over his shoulder or wonder if this was the day they’d finally find the smallest thing he’d fit into. But that wasn’t going to happen. He had less than a year to go and then he’d be out of here. If he could just keep his head down and not get pulled into any trouble he could head to Yale with a perfect record in the fall.

 

Well, provided he got the Masterson grant.

 

“Maybe next time. I still have some homework to finish.”

 

“All right. See you around, Percy.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we're just getting started, double feature today :)

A few weeks of term passed, summer starting to face defeat against fall. The leaves were turning, soon to be useless and spent on the ground. Storms interrupted any hope of an Indian summer and in September only a few leaves still clung onto the branches in trembling defiance when the wind howled past. The asphalt looked like tar under a relentless damp and puddles spotted the sidewalk.

 

Everyone said it was the worst weather for September in recent memory. The ladies outside the Post Office talked about it, the old men smoking outside the Rabbit Hole talked about it.

 

At Storybrooke High the students spent less time in the parking lot, bundled into coats and hats, they instead hurried from cars filled with cigarette smoke and hairspray to the school that always smelled of cooking cabbage and pencil shavings.

 

Jefferson had had to give in to the weather eventually and drove with the roof in place on his convertible. Sometimes he’d give Percy a ride if he was still about, something he still suspected had to do with some sort of protective instinct on the other boy’s part. But he wasn’t about to complain when he didn’t have to stand in the cold wind and wait for the bus, or walk bent forward into the wind.

 

He was still waiting on a response about the Masterson grant and it was gnawing in the back of his head like a toothache. It was his ticket out, his one chance and he just couldn’t lose it. There was no way, he had no other options. His savings were enough for pocket money perhaps, but it was nowhere near enough for tuition and accommodation. But he had an early acceptance letter from Yale, a 4.0 GPA, incredible SAT scores and more extracurriculars than anyone he’d heard of. That had to be enough for the Masterson grant committee. It had to.

 

Walking down the corridor he stopped and backtracked when he spotted Jefferson outside the window. He wasn’t usually in school this early. If he came at all he tended to swagger in just before lunch. Now he was standing outside in the fall chill wearing only a t-shirt and jeans as he hit ball after ball with a baseball bat. Sweat had dampened his hair and the gray shirt clung to his back. His normally unconcerned face was dark and his mouth set. Glancing at the clock Percy knew he only had five minutes until his next class but something about the way Jefferson was grimly sending ball after ball sailing pulled him outside.

 

Just as he reached the field the boy who had been pitching waved and set off as the bell rang.

 

“Jefferson.”

 

The brown haired boy ran a hand through his damp hair.

 

“Percy. That was the bell. You should get to class.”

 

“I helped Mr Delaney devise the pop quiz they’re doing. I think he’ll manage without me.”

 

“You’re skipping? This is indeed a red letter day. Well, if you’re not going, why don’t you pitch for me?”

 

“You must be kidding.” Percy walked around the edge of the pitch. The ground where Jefferson stood was all churned up and his black Converse were muddy. “Why don’t you tell me what’s up instead.”

 

“Nothing. Nothing is up. Can’t I stand out here in the rain and bat a few rounds if I want?”

 

“Sure. But you’re at school earlier than you usually get out of bed. You’re wearing the same clothes you wore yesterday and you look like crap.”

 

Dropping the bat where he stood Jefferson turned and stalked off. Not intimidated in the slightest by his foul mood, Percy followed.

 

“I’m just going to follow you around until you tell me.”

 

Jefferson glanced over his shoulder.

 

“No, you won’t. You might be able to skip Maths but there’s no way you’re going to miss Chemistry. You can follow me around for forty-five minutes, max.”

 

“I didn’t know you knew our schedule.”

 

“Of course I do, how do you think I avoid going to class? By taking care not to be there when it starts. Now, go away, Percy.”

 

They’d reached the small space between the gym and the school, the two roofs overhanging to make a spot that was if not cozy, at least dry. Jefferson sank down with his back to the gym, one leg stretched out in front of him. Producing a baseball from his pocket he proceeded to toss it on the ground, catching it on the bounce from the wall.

 

Sighing slightly Percy joined him, his book bag hitting the ground with a thud.

 

“What do you keep in there anyway? Bricks?”

 

“In my bookbag? Why, I keep books in it.” Sitting down, cross-legged and with his back to the school, he was facing the other boy.

 

“How can you need so many? What do you study so much for?”

 

“I like it. And I need to to keep my place at Yale.”

 

“Yale?” Jefferson whistled. “Aren’t we impressive?”

 

“Shut up. Some of us like to study and become something worthwhile.”

 

“Like what? What is it you want to be, Percy Whale?”

 

“A doctor. I’m going to Yale pre-med in the fall.”

 

The ball made a thwacking sound each time it hit the wall. For a while that was all that was heard.

 

“Man, my father would love to exchange me for you.”

 

Finally, Percy thought, they were getting to it. He could hear anger and frustration in the two short syllables of “father”

 

“When do I start? Do I get your car?”

 

“Shut up,” he replied but smiled for the first time.

 

“My impressive deductive skills tell me your dad’s done something.”

 

Jefferson set the ball in motion again, a little more forcefully than necessary.

 

“He had a letter from the school. They won’t let me graduate if I don’t improve my grades. I expected as much. But my dad has decided if I don’t graduate this year he’ll cut me off. Take my car, my stuff. Toss me out. Like I’m some employee that’s misbehaving that he can fire. All he wants me to do is go to school and then be put on the conveyor belt for corporate management. I couldn’t care less for being some damn executive. I’d hang myself with my dull tie before lunch on the first day.”

 

“So what do you want to do? Do you want to graduate high school? Or drop out, tell your dad what he can do with his money?”

 

“It’s not that easy.”

 

“No?”

 

“Even if I wanted to graduate it’s too late now. I’m like a year and half behind.”

 

“Well, do you want to?”

 

“You know for someone smart, you’re not listening very well.”

 

“Sure I do. I’m listening for something in particular. Do you want to graduate, Jefferson?”

 

“Yes, fine, I do. I don’t want to be one of those people going back to school to get their GEDs when they’re 30.” He tossed the ball again, his mouth setting. “I don’t want to go to university or become an exec but I do want to finish high school.”

 

“Okay. Then I’ll help you.”

 

“What?”

 

“I’ll help you. Tutoring is my part time job. I’ll just take you on.”

 

“Did you just hear me say I’m a year and half behind?”

 

“I heard. Jefferson, do you think I’m stupid? Do you think I don’t get why you’re hanging around after school ends most days? I know what I said about charity, and it stands but it’s...nice of you. And it’s nice of you to pretend it’s for you. So I’ll help you if you need me. I can do this. I can get you up to speed no problem.”

 

Jefferson tossed the ball a few more times.

 

“Fine. On one condition.”

 

“What?”

 

“You let my dad pay you.”

 

o.O.o

 

Though it galled him to give his dad the satisfaction of getting him to cave Jeff knew he couldn’t stand watching all his friends graduate and know he hadn’t managed. It wasn’t that he was unable to do it. It was just so boring to go to class. An endless litany of things to memorise and burp back on command. When would he need to use calculus or list the Kings of England in chronological order in real life, he’d like to know.

 

Still, if he was going to do it, at least it was Percy who'd help him. The other boy had grown on him the past few weeks. He was funny and he didn’t let Jeff get away with anything, which he quite enjoyed. There was something about him that made Jeff feel protective. Not like a little brother or anything but maybe as a friend - even though they weren’t really friends.

 

Yeah, not friends. But friendly.

 

When he’d showered and changed he went downstairs again, just in time to hear his dad’s study door close. Perfect. Smiling darkly at his own trepidation he went and knocked. A curt “come in”, as always sounding more like “go away”, answered him. Entering, he squashed the feeling that never failed to fill him whenever he entered. The feeling of being five and scared because he only got to go inside his dad’s study when he was in trouble. At other times the handle had refused to move under his small, chubby hands when he reached for it, even though he could hear his dad on the other side of the door. Then one nanny or the other would catch up to him, scoop him up and carry him off, telling him sternly not to disturb his father.

 

Letting anger well up to cover the abandonment that still smarted with its empty jaws inside him, he painted it over with fury in white hot heat. That hurt less. Clenching his fists he met his dad’s grey, already irritated eyes.

 

Jackson Madden was a handsome man, in a cold and pinched manner. He always looked slightly uncomfortable. Jefferson strongly suspected the big poker he had up his ass was the main reason for the discomforted expression. He had dark hair, darker than his son’s and pale skin that rarely saw anything but fluorescent lights of boardrooms and offices. CEO and managing director of the Madden business imperium he had chosen to let his son grow up on the family estate but he spent most of his time away on business and kept apartments in both Boston and New York. He wore impeccable suits and no one would ever even consider calling him Jack.

 

“What is it, Jefferson?”

 

“I just wanted to say I’m going to graduate. I’ve found a tutor to help. It’s got nothing to do with you or the money. I just want to finish high school with my friends.”

 

His father steepled his well manicured fingers, the family insignia ring glinting in the light from the Tiffany lamp on his desk. The same symbol that adorned every package of tea they sold, every letter the business sent. The fox, mid stride. In the ads promoting their tea, the symbol was joined by the tagline “Maddens - you’re never too late for a cup of tea.” They had since long stopped producing only tea, a business conglomerate that spanned continents, but it had all started with the tea.

 

“I’m glad you’ve come to your senses.”

 

As always the smooth, chilly voice made Jeff’s eyesight flicker with rage. If he ever had a child he would never let them feel inadequate or small or like they didn’t measure up for him to love them.

 

“I will need to speak to this tutor before I agree to pay.”

 

“Fine.” Jeff stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned. “I’ll get him to call you on the business line - just so I know you’ll pick up.” With that he left, taking childish satisfaction in slamming the door behind him.

 

That evening the conscientious Percy phoned his father. As Jeff had picked up the receiver as well all evening when he heard his father answer the business line he could listen in when the call came in. He just wanted to make sure that...Well, he wasn’t really certain what he wanted to make sure but he wanted to hear the conversation.

 

“Mr Madden, this is Percy Whale. I go to Storybrooke High with Jefferson.”

 

“Ah, the tutor.” He could imagine his father leaning back in his large chair to get comfortable for the interrogation to come. “I’m not sure it can be argued Jefferson go to school as much as he sometimes drives by the building. In any case, tell me what you think you can accomplish for my son.”

 

“Well, Jefferson is smart, all he’s lacking is ambition and a bit of focus. That’ll be where I come in. I have plenty of both.” 

 

Jeff smiled to himself in his room, cradling the receiver to his ear as he tossed a baseball from hand to hand.

 

“I know he’s not a complete idiot but he is very far behind as I understand it. How will you get him up to date?” 

The smile died as his father described him as “not a complete idiot”. How would he even know? They hadn’t spent more than ten consecutive minutes together since he turned twelve. And those ten minutes had been his father’s brief appearance at his birthday party before he left for “an urgent meeting”.

 

Percy’s voice was measured as he outlined lesson plans and subject division, timings and even assigning homework.

 

“That all sounds very well but I rather doubt you’d be able to get Jefferson to actually do this. He’s lazy, uninterested.”

 

“Mr Madden, Jefferson wants to graduate and I believe he will manage. He understands what he has to do and accomplish to reach the goal. I don’t have a lot of spare time and I wouldn’t waste it on someone if I didn’t think they could and would manage what we agree on.”

 

Jeff was grinning in his room again. Listen to Percy Whale give his father a run for his money in the chilliest, most measured tone to make the other party realise they were being sillier than a five year old on pop rocks.

 

“Very well.” 

 

Jeff pumped a fist in the air at his schoolmate’s victory. 

 

“Then let’s move on to your qualifications.”

 

A list so long Jeff’s eyes were about to fall closed followed while Percy listed academic, extracurricular and personal achievements. Even his father sounded a little bit impressed when he gave the green light after Percy agreed to send copies of his transcripts.

 

“Well, this seems to be all in order. I believe we can now discuss terms.”

 

Returning his full attention to the call he listened to Percy’s opening quote - a ridiculous figure he’d instructed the other boy to ask for. His father didn’t snort derisively but it wasn’t far off and he countered with something that made Jeff grimace. So that was all his future was worth, was it? Percy held his ground, stating the amount of work he would have to put in. His father countered a little higher. The other boy lowered his bid, but only slightly. Jackson Madden folded, blinded by the perfect GPA and the sensible voice on the line and offered a lower bid, but still three times the amount of his opening offer.

 

As if this figure was perfectly ordinary Percy accepted graciously and they ended the call. Jefferson bounced out of bed and punched the air again. He might have had to give in to his father but at least he was paying through the nose in the only way he understood. Money.

 

o.O.o

 

Percy stepped out of Jefferson’s car and tried not to gawp. The Madden residence was a huge stone building in a French inspired style. A mansard roof and dormer windows lent romance to an otherwise rather stern structure. Judging it to be at least two hundred years old at the centre it had later additions in the shape of two wings that embraced the gravel square in the middle. One corner boasted a rather incredulous-looking tower, a leftover Victorian flight of fancy.

 

Jefferson paid the magnificence little heed as he jogged up the steps, his car keys still in his hand. Following him at a slower pace Percy tried to keep his head from swivelling from side to side to take everything in. Inside the door a large entrance hall with a black and white checkered floor and a crystal chandelier stopped him in his tracks. A stairway worthy of being in Gone With the Wind lead to the higher floors.

 

Jefferson stopped on his way up the stairs.

 

“Are you coming?”

 

“Yeah, sure. I… I’ll be right there.”

 

He passed room after room before they reached the top floor. The whole of the central section of the house had been converted into one huge room. Skylights let in light and floor to ceiling windows through the back offered a magnificent view of the forest and hills outside. The original diamond paned windows remained to face the front and made the modern space even more charming. Aged hardwood floors, deep plush carpets and clever light fittings made the large space homey. Deep, welcoming furniture, an open fireplace and a huge bed made it luxurious and an ensuite and small kitchenette made it practical. Peeking out one of the floor to ceiling windows he realized it was actually a door out to a deck wrapping the length of the room, one end holding a hot tub.

 

“Holy moly.”

 

Jefferson stopped rummaging around the kitchenette.

 

“Sorry?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“No, you just said ‘holy moly’, didn’t you?”

 

“I did not.”

 

“There is no mystery whatsoever why you’re not popular,” Jefferson laughed, but in a way that seemed more appreciative than mean. Shaking his head and muttering “holy moly” to himself he dived back into the fridge.

 

Stepping back from the luxury for a moment Percy realized this was a home within a home. This was where Jefferson stayed so he wouldn’t have to go out into the rest of the house. For all its luxury and the appearance of being a teenage dream, it had to be lonely to have all that space to yourself. Percy wouldn’t really know as he shared a small house with his family and finding privacy was a lot harder than evading it. But he could imagine.

 

“Should we get started?”

 

It didn’t take Percy long to realize why Jefferson was behind in school. Though very clever his attention span was short and he hated being stationary. Once he figured out that Jefferson’s memory was terrific and that he didn’t need to take notes to remember things, the pace improved. While the other boy paced around the room, played with his baseball, jumped on the bed and did chin ups on the bar in the doorway he managed to memorise everything he’d need for at least three make up tests - one in History, one in English and one in Chemistry.

 

The second discovery was that Jefferson learned best if you changed subjects and environment often and took a lot of breaks. It was so different to how Percy learned it caused him some frustration before Jefferson aced a test he gave him purely as punishment because he’d been playing cards the whole time while Percy read the relevant chapters.

 

So they worked in different parts of the house, Jefferson making an admirable analogy for English literature while lying spread on the billiard table shooting an airgun and using the whisky bottles on the drinks trolley for targets.

 

When they finished for the day they had ended up in the kitchen. It was a top-of the range, pristine space. No piles of papers, spotty bananas or collection of keys that he was used to seeing in his own kitchen.

 

“So, how am I doing, teach? Think I can manage before we graduate?” Though Jefferson looked all ease leaning against the doorjamb Percy sensed uncertainty in his voice.

 

“To be perfectly honest…” He stuffed the last of his books back in the bag and closed it. It almost made him smile to see the unflappable Jefferson Madden on tenterhooks. “At this pace…” He swung the bag over his shoulder. “You could catch up in four months.”

 

A wide smile broke out over Jefferson’s face.

 

“You sneak. You let me believe I was slower than a snail moving on tar.”

 

“I wasn’t sure you weren’t. I had to test you.”

 

Jefferson raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

 

“And now?”

 

“Now I’m sure you’ll catch up in four months or less.”

 

“High praise, teach. Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.”

 

He could be polite, refuse, offer to take the bus. But he was tired and he still had his own homework to get through when he got back.

 

“Thanks.”

 

Jeff dug his keys out of his jean pocket and together they left the now quiet and dark Madden house.


	3. Chapter 3

Jeff driving Percy back after the tutoring sessions became a habit. Every weekday he’d take him to the door before driving back. It was Percy’s favorite part of the tutoring sessions. The music playing loudly, the roof in place to stave off the cold creating a small room just for them. The outside world was dark and pressed against the window but inside it was warm, the recycled air smelling vaguely of engine oil and eucalyptus from the air freshener hanging from the rearview mirror. The dashboard lit up in the dark and Percy thought it looked like something out of a futuristic movie. He’d watch the speedometer climb and descend around the clock face, listen to the engine’s controlled purr, amazed at the speed and control the vehicle was capable of.

He’d hear music he’d never encountered before and Jeff seemed to enjoy the role reversal of him teaching Percy something.

“Joy Division,” he said, nodding toward the stereo.

“They don’t sound particularly joyful.”

Jefferson smiled, glanced in the rearview mirror before changing lanes.

“They do to me.”

That was the way Jefferson saw the world. Colored by through his eyes. If he thought he heard joy, then he heard joy even if it was in something that sounded angry, sad and heartbreaking to everyone else. In the same way he found beauty in all manner of strange things. His father had a lot sculpture sitting around in the hallways and Jefferson was always changing the artwork on the pedestals for the most bizarre things. A teapot, a shoe, a set of keys. To him they were something more than just how they looked, somehow. Worthy of being on display though they were just ordinary things.

Slowly, Percy was getting to know the other boy and this habit of celebrating the ordinary was tremendously endearing. 

There was a feeling during their drives of being if not friends, then at least comfortable in each other’s company. It was something he’d never expected to feel around Jefferson Madden of all people. They said hi in the hallway (when Jefferson came to school) and they were steadily catching up to where the Madden heir needed to be to graduate but they weren’t exactly friendly. 

Percy’s mother, who though he loved her to bits, tended to see things in black and white wondered why he never brought “his friend” inside after he drove him home. Explaining they weren’t really friends and that he actually worked for Jefferson’s father didn’t seem to help.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought of it. But every time he tried to picture himself offer Jefferson to come in he got a sinking feeling in his stomach. First of all, asking each other to come over was something friends did. He didn’t want to upset the balance they had by asking and having the other boy look at him either in pity or even open mocking for even asking. Why would he, Jefferson Madden, ever voluntarily want to spend time with Percy Whale, the class nerd?

 

If he got past that objection in his head, telling himself Jefferson really didn’t seem like he thought of him as a social reject, he got to the next objection. Even if Jefferson would agree to come in, Percy’s house was so different to his. It was small and cramped, there was peeling paint and creaking floorboards. Their food was all off brand, their clothes were from the thrift shop. His dad drove an ancient Toyota and talked about the rich stealing from the little man. His mother clipped coupons and made hotdog spaghetti with jar sauce.

 

Telling himself this was stupid as well and was unfair to Jefferson whose friends seemed to include people less…financially comfortable than him, worked for a little while. Then he wondered if Jefferson would tell people about his home at school and if they’d laugh.

 

He hunched his shoulders at the thought.

 

Then there was his brother. He could bear if Jefferson thought he was a nerd, if he laughed over Percy even thinking he’d want to come in to hang. He could live with him telling people about his shabby house and thrift store clothes. But if he said one ill word about his brother…

 

So every time that the question poured onto his tongue he thought of hs brother and swallowed the words back, a sour taste in the back of his throat.

 

One evening early in October snow started falling as they drove down the road. Worsening by the minute Jefferson was sitting straight, paying rapt attention to the road. Different from his normal, relaxed driving Percy figured the roads must be bad under the tires of the BMW.

 

Later than normal they reached Percy’s drive and Jefferson exhaled quietly when he stopped the car. A moment later the door opened and Percy’s mother came rushing down the steps. Climbing out of the car she reached him and hugged him close. Hoping Jefferson wasn’t paying attention he gently shifted her. He wasn’t a baby.

 

“There you are! I’ve been so worried. They’ve closed the main road, I was worried you were on the other side. The phones are down as well, something about interference they said on the radio.”

 

“It’s fine, mum. I’m back now.”

 

“Well, you need to come in out of this cold. And your friend too.”

 

“Mum, I’m sure Jefferson just wants to get home.”

 

“Don’t be silly. It’s awful out there. What sort of mother would I be if I let someone’s boy drive around in this mess?”

 

Percy’s heart sank. “Mum, it’s not so bad. He can-“

 

“Percy Mathias Whale, you listen to me. No son of mine is letting his friend drive around in this weather. It’s dangerous.” Dropping her hands from her hips she turned to Jefferson, all sunny. “Honey, you better come in. I’ll whip you up something warm.”

 

To Percy’s surprise Jefferson didn’t make a sound of protest. He just summoned the smile he used on all the teachers when he wanted to get out of trouble and said,

 

“Thank you, Mrs Whale.”

 

“Not at all, dear. Now let’s go inside before we all freeze.” Hurrying ahead his mum returned into the house. 

 

Dragging his feet, Percy followed. Jefferson was swaggering as usual, looking around as if he hadn’t seen the house and patch of grass out front dozens of times before.

 

“Your mom has better manners than you. Sure she raised you?”

 

“Oh, shut up.”

 

“Percy Mathias Whale, what language!”

 

“I’m never going to hear the end of that one, am I?”

 

“’Fraid not,” the other boy grinned.

 

“Great.” Rolling his eyes he entered the house before Jefferson.

 

A moment later Frankie, their dog, rushed out, tail wagging and tongue lolling out of his mouth. A big mutt in greys and browns rushing towards them usually had people taking a step back, but Jefferson stepped into the greeting, ruffling fur and scratching Frankie’s ears. Three seconds later Percy’s faithful guard dog had rolled over on his back and was getting his belly rubbed, his brown eyes half-closed in ecstasy.

 

“This is Frankenstein, my dog. We just call him Frankie.”

 

“Frankie? Hey, Frankie, hey boy.” Jefferson chuckled at the dog’s antics to get him to reach the golden spot just under the right front leg. Looking up at Percy, he smiled. “He doesn’t look like much of a monster to me.”

 

“Frankenstein is the scientist who created the monster. It’s a common misconception that it’s the monster that’s called Frankenstein.”

 

“Huh.” Jefferson looked down at the dog again. “He doesn’t really look much like a scientist either.”

 

Surprised, Percy laughed.

 

“He doesn’t. Even by dog standards he’s pretty dumb.” But affection still had him sink to a crouch to pat the mutt a few times.

 

“Boys, do you want some pancakes and hot chocolate?” His mom leaned out of the kitchen doorway. “Percy, take Jefferson’s coat and show him around, will you? It’ll be done in a jiffy.”

 

Jefferson hung his own coat up and Percy wrung his hands for a moment behind his back. Frankie lumbered off when no more belly rubs were forthcoming.

 

“Right. Well, this is the den.” He gestured into the old fashioned room with its thick pea green carpet and mustard yellow sofas that itched to sit on. Jefferson meandered past him though he’d only meant to give him a glimpse and keep the comments to a minimum. The other boy poked around, peered at pictures and looked out the window where the snow was falling, almost heavily enough to hide the fact that the next house was an arm’s length away.

 

When Jefferson had finished inspecting he returned to the hall and Percy lead him down the narrow corridor wallpapered in large, exaggerated vines and flowers.

 

“My parents’ room, my brother’s, mine.” He pointed to the doors in turn. “And over there is the kitchen so-“

 

“This is your room?” Jefferson didn’t wait for him to reply before he opened the door. 

 

Slipping in he looked around with avid interest and Percy stopped only past the threshold, nervous about the judgment that would be passed on his room. It was nothing like Jefferson’s luxury apartment on the top floor of the Madden mansion.

 

The wallpaper was a faded blue stripe, his bed a narrow single with a plain wooden veneer headboard and a somewhat threadbare throw. A narrow wardrobe and a worn, ugly armchair with an old fashioned lamp next to it. His desk at the window was weighed down with books. More books filled the shelves from floor to ceiling and one held his collection of model airplanes that he’d built and painted.

 

Jefferson poked around, something feline in the way he’d find something that interested him and scrutinise it before carelessly moving on, graceful and restless.

 

“Young Scientists’ Award for Outstanding Achievements three years in a row.” He read from the placques pinned to the wall. “Chess champion, Captain of the Calculators - tri-state area mathlete champions. Honourable mention in New Science Magazine for Young Achievers. Gold medalist in Track, - junior and high. Head of the Debating team for Storybrooke High, winners with a special commendation. Damn, Percy. It’s no wonder you don’t have time to find out who Joy Division are.”

 

Percy curled his fists in his pockets. This was when Jefferson would laugh at what a dork he was, shake his head and join the others in calling him names and ignoring him unless he was the butt of some joke.

 

Well, fine. He only had to put up with this for a few months and then he’d be rid of them, go to school with people who actually cared about learning. Who were passionate about it, wanted to study.

 

“I had no idea. I knew you were smart but you’re something else, aren’t you?”

 

Jefferson was looking at him like he were a book that suddenly got interesting, his head tilted to the side and his thumbs hooked in the belt loops of his jeans. Percy wondered if it was because he’d just discovered a new, even dorkier side of him he could make fun of. Caging, he shrugged.

 

“I’m all right.”

 

Jefferson narrowed his eyes.

 

“This,” he gestured airliy to the framed diplomas and shelf of medals, “Is better than all right. Isn’t it?”

 

“Fine.” Percy crossed his arms over his chest. “It is. I’m smart. What is it to you?”

 

“Oh, nothing. Except I got me a total brain for a tutor. That must make me pretty smart,” Jefferson grinned.

 

“You’re no... beyond help.”

 

“Not beyond help?” Jefferson snorted. “That’s really sweet of you.”

 

“What can I say, you’re-” The sound of the door opening, followed by running steps and the excited bark of the dog sounded. Hearing the steps heading for his room Percy steeled himself.

 

“My brother’s home.”

 

“You have a brother?”

 

“Yeah. Byron. He’s...he’s a little different. He-” Once more he interrupted himself as By burst into the room. His older brother was taller than him, and wider. Slightly pudgy, with bark brown hair and heavy eyebrows. Thick glasses were held in place with rubber bands like swimming goggles and his blue eyes looked smaller than they were behind the lenses. Dressed in a knitted sweater with a hot air balloon on the front and a corduroy jeans today he made the sound that Percy knew meant he was excited. A sort of gurgle. As always the pleasure of seeing his brother was marred by the knife twisting in an old wound.

 

“Hey, By.”

 

“Pey! Pey, play!”

 

“Maybe later, By. Mom is making pancakes.”

 

Smacking his lips Byron bounced on the balls of his feet.

 

“Since Jefferson is here. He’s…” Knowing it wasn’t true but having to use a word Byron would understand he hoped his classmate would just go with it. “My friend.”

 

“Friend!” Shouting the word By latched on to Jefferson and hugged him so hard Percy though he could hear his ribs creak under the pressure. “Friend, hi!”

 

“Hi there, Byron,” Jeff wheezed and gently Percy pulled at his brother’s arm.

 

“Careful. Like with a kitty.”

 

By eased his grasp and patted Jefferson on the head instead, peering intently at him.

 

“Not kitty! Friend!”

 

Discreetly rubbing his chest Jefferson agreed,

 

“You’re right, I’m not a kitty.”

 

“Boys, pancakes are ready!” His mom’s voice from the other room sounded and pulled from his new toy at the promise of pancakes Byron disappeared down the hall, arms flailing.

 

“Cool, pancakes,” Jefferson told no one in particular before he too went down the hall. 

 

With nerves dancing in his stomach Percy joined them.

 

The kitchen was done in sunflower yellows and brown, except the counters that were a bright saffron. His mother stood at the stove, a huge pile of pancakes next to her. She was wearing the white apron that made her look wider than she was and her cheeks were pink from standing over the stove. Directing Jefferson to a seat and Percy to sit next to him Byron was already across banging his fork on the plastic plate. He realized that besides Sneezy this was the first time he’d brought someone (a friend, as his mom thought) to the house since before Junior High. She was excited for him. Staring at his plate he wished as he did sometimes he’d been different, for his mom’s sake. More normal. Someone who got average grades and had lots of friends he brought back to the house. His mother would have loved to cook for legions and watch him with his friends. Instead she got him.

 

“This looks great, Mrs W.”

 

“Oh, it’s nothing,” his mom beamed and pushed a lock of curly ash blonde hair off her forehead.

 

At least Jefferson was polite. Percy was sure he had a chef he could make cook him anything his rich little heart desired and to cordon bleu standard too. But at least he made the effort for Percy’s mom.

 

“Eat, eat.” She sat down and gestured for them to eat. She was just having a cup of coffee. “By, let me cut those for you.” She reached for his brother’s plate. He pushed her hand away and shook his head.

 

“No!” With hand tremors and poor coordination By couldn’t master cutting his food.

 

“By, those bites are too big. Here,” Percy reached for the plate but Byron pushed his hand away too.

 

“NO! By BIG. By can.” He continued to focusedly stab at the pancake with his fork.

 

“Hey, Percy.” Reluctantly he met Jefferson’s eyes, knowing he might see the laughter dancing in them at his brother. His brother who wouldn’t understand why it might appear funny that an eighteen year old man couldn’t cut his food, or swallow large bites or form complete sentences.

 

“Can you cut mine? It’s fiddly.”

 

For a moment he thought it was a joke. Then Jefferson pushed his plate over and realizing what he was trying to do Percy just nodded. Bending his head over the task he felt Byron’s eyes on him. When he’d finished he pushed the plate back and Jefferson thanked him and proceeded to eat like nothing was out of the ordinary. When By’s plate scraped over the formica table into his view his eyesight was a little blurred. How could Jefferson have figured it out so easy? They’d always assumed there was a part of By that knew he was older than he seemed, a part that wanted to be independent and act his age. But that wasn’t it. Byron just didn’t want to be different. He’d seen he was the only one who had his food cut for him. Until Jefferson. Jefferson had understood right away.

 

Handing By back his plate he saw his brother watching Jefferson intently. Under his gaze the other boy was unconcernedly eating pancakes.

 

“Friend, play By?”

 

“Ah, By, Jefferson’s here to…” Percy grabbed the idea from the air. “Study.”

 

“Study? Forget it, I’ve already put in my hours for today, slave driver. Let’s play, By.”

 

Whooping, his older brother got up and rushed out of the room. Standing and pushing his chair in, his cutlery laid to the right on his plate and his napkin (a square of kitchen roll) folded under the plate.

 

“Thanks, Mrs W, it was great.”

 

Then he strolled out and left Percy and his mom to stare at each other.

 

“I...I better get started on the dishes.”

 

“I’ll help you, Mom.”

 

“No, no.” His mother got up, her voice just a little thicker than usual. “You go be with your friend.”

 

Percy got up, squeezed her shoulder and ventured into the den. It wasn’t until he got into the hall until he muttered to himself under his breath,

 

“We’re not friends.”

 

Though what they were might have to re-classified at some point he had to admit when he found Jefferson on the floor with Byron playing his brother's favorite game of “You build something tall out of my building blocks and I’ll knock it down” - and obviously enjoying it.

 

o.O.o

 

Three hours later Percy had resigned himself to the wrath of the weather. Jefferson would have to stay. Sleep over, in his room. His mum had forced a pair of his brother's pyjamas on him (though of a height, Jefferson was broader across the shoulders and wouldn’t fit in Percy’s) and fussed with the cot. He could only imagine how hilarious it would all seem when Jefferson recounted it at school.

 

Now, in the compact kind of silence snow created, he knew Jefferson was still awake and was staring up at Percy’s glow in the dark stars that he’d positioned into real constellations all over the ceiling. That would probably translate to a funny tale at school about how Percy Whale was afraid of the dark. He wasn’t. Sensible people weren’t afraid of the dark. They were afraid of what hid in it.

 

“Aren’t you going to ask what’s wrong with Byron?” He spoke into the darkness.

 

“Something’s wrong with By?” Jefferson counted, his voice floating disembodied through the room from where he lay.

 

“You noticed he was different. Don’t tell me you didn’t.”

 

“I did. I just don’t think different means wrong.”

 

“No, well, not wrong. He’s…” Percy sat up in bed. “Jefferson, he’s sick.”

 

Jefferson didn’t answer but he sat up as well, the little cot creaking under him.

 

“There was… When he was eight there was an accident.” Jefferson stayed silent and somehow, Percy didn’t mind continuing telling him. “I got in my head that we should go on an adventure, look for treasure in the mine. I was sure it would just be sitting around waiting to be found, like in Indiana Jones.”

 

Jefferson was looking at a point under the bed but Percy could tell he was listening intently. He’d seen that face before during their tutoring sessions.

 

“Byron didn’t think it was a good idea. He wanted to play jedis in the backyard. But I had set my mind on it and he wouldn’t let me go alone. Said he had to protect me from the monsters that lived in the mine.” Percy fiddled with a loose stitch on his blanket.

 

“So we went. I had a backpack with some cookies and a flashlight and I thought we were going to come back rich, tell our parents they could finally buy us a videogame console now.” He pulled at the thread, the stitch giving under his fingers. “We didn’t know they were drilling that day. We went through a hole in the fence and ducked under all the warning signs they’d posted. It was still quiet when we made it down. There was water dripping along the walls and I remember thinking it was a lot colder than I’d thought it’d be. Afterwards we found out they’d been expanding one of the tunnels underneath that day. All I felt was as if the whole world was falling. Byron caught on quicker than I and he grabbed my hand, pulling me to the exit.”

 

Jefferson still hadn’t said anything, the only thing that could be heard from him his quiet, even breathing. The room was still illuminated slightly in gray from the snow reflecting light outside but not quite enough to reveal the expression in Jefferson’s eyes.

 

“A part of the wall caved in. It happened so quickly. It was just this massive noise, the ground that shook and then I felt a tug on my hand. It was Byron who collapsed just in front of me. One of the falling rocks had hit him.”

 

For a minute he sat in silence, needing a moment to not drown in the memory. The cold, damp air that made his clothes cling to him, the smell of rock grating against rock like from By’s cap gun. His limbs feeling weak from shock as he ran them helplessly over his brother, wanting do something, anything to get him to wake up. Even in his young mind he had known something was terribly wrong. Byron had been pale, breathing shallowly. In the eerie silence after the collapse the sound of it seemed louder than it was.

 

“It took them almost ten hours to find us. The entrance had collapsed. I couldn’t run for help, couldn’t do anything. I screamed until I lost my voice, then I could just sit there. Sit and hold his hand, like that would help.”

 

The helplessness he’d felt then hadn’t lessened over the years, it was always there, bubbling under his skin. Screaming inside him as uselessly as he had that day in the mine.

 

“I lost part of my brother that day. He didn’t wake up for almost a week. They weren’t sure he ever would. But he did, only he wasn’t the same anymore.”

 

“It changed him? The accident?”

 

It was the first time Jefferson had spoken since Percy started telling the story and his voice was a little rough. Leaning back against the headboard Percy stared up at the plastic constellations above.

 

“It’s called TBI. A traumatic brain injury. It affects everyone differently, depending on the severity of the injury. For By it’s a bit like he’ll never grow past the eight years old he was that day. His cognitive functions are affected and he can’t really grasp abstracts or process information in the way most people do. He gets distracted easily, he can’t communicate without problems, he forgets things. He thinks he’s a child but doesn’t understand he’s stronger or bigger than other kids.”

 

Percy looked down from the stars, met Jefferson’s eyes that were only deeper pools of darkness in the dim room.

 

“Byron will never graduate school, never have a job. He’ll never have children. And it’s all because of me.”

 

Blame, cold and black like ink ran in his veins.

 

“I don’t think so.” Jefferson pulled his knees up, his arms wrapped loosely around his legs. “It was an accident.”

 

“Byron wouldn’t have been in the mine that day if it weren’t for me.”

 

“No, but what if it were somewhere else? What if you went for ice creams at the shop and there was a gas leak? Would that be your fault? Or the faulty installation? I don’t think they meant to collapse the entrance that day, that was an accident. You could have been in there and been fine but there was an accident. If it has to be someone’s fault, how about the people responsible for sweeping the area before the blast? Or whoever didn’t repair the fence? The people who didn’t shore up the tunnel?”

 

“I was the one who brought Byron through the broken fence. Into the poorly shored up tunnel.”

 

“You were six years old, Percy. How would you know anything at all about subterranean engineering?”

 

“I knew it was dangerous!” He couldn’t help his voice rising. “I knew”, he continued quietly, “and I went anyway.”

 

Jefferson shrugged and laid back down, his voice disembodied again when he couldn’t see his face.

 

“Then tell me, if Byron as he used to be was here, would he blame you?”

 

With that the other boy turned over on his side and pulled the covers higher. For a long time Percy stared out into the darkness of his room. Because he’d known his brother at eight, had loved him more than anything else on earth. And he knew Byron would have never blamed him for the day in the mine.

 

The last thing he saw before he fell asleep was Byron as he had been then, his hair sandy rather than brown, his eyes laughing. A front tooth missing from his smile. He was waving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and leaving kudos, I'm really happy to see there's a few of you out there willing to ship Mad Whale with me :) Special thanks, virtual hugs and cookies to heatherfield for taking the time to comment, it made my day!


	4. Chapter 4

Jeff smiled to himself as he pushed the car door shut with his foot. Hoisting the box he was carrying higher he jogged up the steps to the Whales’ house. Byron was going to get such a kick out this.

 

Knocking by kicking the screen door, his trainers muffling the impact, he huddled inside his jacket. The snow from two nights ago was still thick on the ground and it made the dull street even more uniform.

 

“Jefferson,” Mrs Whale greeted him. “Percy’s not in, he went to the library.”

 

“That’s okay, I’m here to see By.” He shook the box and it rattled satisfyingly. “I found some of my old stuff I thought he’d like.”

 

“Oh, Jefferson, you really didn’t have to.”

 

“I wanted to. It was just sitting gathering dust in the attic anyway. Is it okay if I come in?”

 

“Of course, come in, come in.” She stood back, narrow shouldered and a bit drawn in her unflattering cardigan. Jefferson smiled and wiped his shoes, passing her in the hall. “Jefferson, wait.”

 

He turned and saw her brush a strand of greying blonde hair from her forehead. The roots were all grey, the ash blonde that had probably been her natural hair color until recently starting in a sharp line about an inch down the strands.

 

“Byron, he...I don’t know how much Percy told you but…”

 

“He told me everything, Mrs W.”

 

“Oh. I see. Well, just don’t be...don’t be disappointed with him if he doesn’t remember you.”

 

“‘Course not. Besides, how often do you get to make a first impression a second time?”

 

She chuckled weakly.

 

“I suppose that’s one way of looking at it.”

 

Jefferson felt a surprising wave of tenderness for the woman who looked older than she was, staying at home with her son and feeling like she had to excuse something to him.

 

Steering into the den where he heard the telltale clatter of building blocks he found Byron on the floor. As he was better at smashing the constructions than building them he couldn’t manage to get them as tall as he wanted for the really satisfying clatter. Jeff could relate completely. He’d always felt he was better at smashing things than creating them.

 

“Hey, By. Want a hand?” 

 

Byron looked up, his blue eyes peering from behind the thick glasses he wore. Squinting, he chewed on his lip seeming to think hard. Then with a proud smile he pointed at Jefferson, stating, “Friend!”

 

“That’s right. I’m the friend.” Feeling very pleased Byron remembered him he joined him on the floor, sitting cross legged with the box on his knees. “But you can call me Jefferson. Jeff.”

 

“Je...Fje.. Jey?”

 

“I’ve been called worse. So, I brought something for you, have a look.”

 

“Present By?”

 

“Yeah, a present.”

 

Delighted Byron tore the box from Jeff’s hands and pushed the lid off. His eyes widened behind his glasses and he made the gurgling noise Byron had made the other day when he saw Percy. Excited, he translated it as. Reaching into the box the first thing he lifted out was one of Jefferson’s old favorites.

 

“The Batmobile. Good choice.”

 

“Oh, oh, oh!”

 

“It is pretty cool.” 

 

Jefferson smiled as Byron was torn between looking at the Batmobile and the rest of the stuff in the box. The toys had been sitting in the attic, more because his father had forgotten all about them rather than any parental nostalgia. It gave him a kick to see By enjoying the stuff he had loved once. They’d get a chance to put gilt edges on another childhood, in a way. From what Percy had explained Jeff knew Byron’s childhood wasn’t one that would end, and his age a construct by his brain after being put through severe trauma. Still, if he liked toys then Jeff didn’t see any reason why Byron couldn’t have his.

 

Two hours later the contents of the box were spread over the carpet. The TV was blasting in the background, He-Man was on and half listening to a plot with more holes than a Swiss cheese Jeff was smiling as he ran the little green Maserati over the carpet. Byron was running two cars at once in circles, making revving engine noises.

 

He heard the door open and a few minutes later Percy appeared in the doorway. He had a backpack slung over one shoulder and Jeff couldn’t tell if the other boy was unhappy to find him in his house or not.

 

“I didn’t expect to see you here.” He had to speak at a volume to be heard over He-Man’s booming proclamations about justice and Byron’s imitation of a four cylinder engine.

 

“Pey!” Byron spotted his brother and shot up.”Pey, Pey, Pey.” Excitedly picking up the cars and showing him he barely gave Percy time to look before he went back to get something else to show. Dutifully the blond boy looked at each treasure being displayed.

 

“I thought I’d drop off some of my old stuff for By.” He shrugged, suddenly feeling like he had intruded for some reason.

 

Humming in approval over the Mr Potato Head wearing a plastic cowboy hat before Byron once more went to get another toy for inspection, Percy then looked back at Jeff.

 

“That’s… nice of you. I hope you’re not too attached to them. By sometimes...forgets to be careful with things.”

 

Frowning slightly Jeff sat up straighter, stopping the car moving over the carpet.

 

“It’s his stuff now. He can do what he likes with it.”

 

Once more Percy looked down, this time checking out a squirt gun, a Slinky - and Mr Potato Head again. Byron was so excited mostly unintelligible babble escaped him.

 

“You got new toys, By?” 

 

Nodding vigorously so his brown locks bounced the boy hugged his new treasures to his chest. Then be pointed to Jefferson. “Jey present By.”

 

“It’s pretty cool, By.” Leaning against the doorframe as his brother returned to the box to choose what to show next Percy seemed to relax slightly.

 

“He knows your name?”

“I guess.” Jeff watched By rummage around the toys on the floor.

 

“He hasn’t learnt a new name in two years. Or remembered it.”

 

“Your mom already brought it up. I’m not going to be disappointed or whatever if he doesn’t remember my name.”

 

“Okay then.” Percy straightened. “Well, I have to study.”

 

“Fine. I have three vehicle pile-up to organise.”

 

He heard the other boy’s steps head down the hall to his room. What was Percy Whale’s problem anyway? It wasn’t as if he’d bribed Byron to remember him. He’d just thought the kid would get a kick out of some of his old stuff that was collecting dust anyway. What business of Percy’s was it to judge if that was a good idea or not? By liked the stuff. He could break it, or toss it or whatever he wanted to do with it. They were toys for heaven’s sake. Meant to be played with. He’d bet Percy had just looked at his toys, gloating in the knowledge of them rather than playing with them when he was little. Snorting to himself he lined up more cars for the highway collision he’d planned.

 

Getting ahead of the game By was gleefully slapping the cars he’d lined up away, sending them bouncing over the carpet.

 

“Didn’t even make it over the start line, did they?”

 

It wasn’t as if the toys came with any strings, or the Whales would find an invoice for them in the mail tomorrow. It was just a damn box from his attic.

 

After a really successful grisly accident involving all the cars on the wall to wall carpet, a race between the Batmobile and a Formula 1 car and a boxing match between Mr Potato Head and Action Man, Mrs Whale came in. She was wearing an apron again and she looked a little happier than she had in the doorway.

 

“Byron, go wash your hands, it’s time for dinner. Jefferson, would you mind getting Percy?”

 

Rising from the carpet and brushing off his jeans Jeff glanced out the window.

 

“I didn’t realize it was so late, Mrs Whale. I should head home.”

“Nonsense. The least we can do is feed you before you go.”

“I don’t want to be any trouble, Mrs Whale.” Also he didn’t think Percy would like it very much if he stayed again.

 

“Don’t be silly, it’s no trouble. Just get Percy and we’ll eat.” Then before he could refuse she had left.

 

Chuckling a little to himself and shaking his head he stuffed his hands in his pockets. School rebel, indeed. He’d just been overruled by a woman who didn’t reach five foot five and wore homemade cardigans with sheep on them.

 

With a shrug to no one in particular he went down the hall to Percy’s room. He couldn’t hear a thing from inside. The sound of Percy Whale being Percy Whale. Whenever Jefferson was in his room there’d be noise. Music, or the TV or the radio. Sometimes more than one at a time.

 

Knocking, he headed inside. The blond boy was sitting at his desk, his books open. Still, Jefferson didn’t get the feeling he’d been hard at work, but rather staring into space. Turning to him he could see the corners Percy’s mouth tense and his fingers tightening around the pencil he was holding.

 

“Your mom says to tell you dinner is ready.”

 

“Are you staying?” It was the first time he had sounded openly hostile. He’d always seemed cautious, slow to trust him and never fully relaxing in his presence but his tone was plainly cold now.

 

“Your mom asked me to. Do you have a problem with that?”

 

“No.” The syllable was short, clipped. A lie. To be polite or some such. Nothing rubbed Jefferson the wrong way like it. He hated pretense.

 

“What is your problem? You don’t want me to hang at your house, fine, tell me. You don’t like me spending time with your brother, god knows why, then tell me. I’ll leave.”

 

Percy got up from the chair, crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“No, I don’t like it.”

 

“You don’t like what? Me being at your house? Giving Byron some of my old stuff? It’s just a box of toys for god’s sake.”

 

“Well, By isn’t.” Percy’s arms dropped. “He’s not a toy, Jefferson. He’s not just a fun diversion that you get to pick up and then forget about.”

 

“I...What? What are you on about?” Sensing less hostility and more tiredness in Percy’s voice now Jefferson lowered his tone.

 

“You, Jefferson. Byron likes you. He knows your name. Do you know how long it’s been since he’s learnt a new name? Had fun with someone? You can’t...you can’t show him that and take it away. I couldn’t watch that. He’s a person with needs, and quite special ones at that. I don’t think you’re prepared for meeting those so I think it would be better if you didn’t see him anymore. Before he gets even more attached.”

 

“That is…” Jefferson hooked his thumbs in his belt loops. “Some bullshit, Percy. What do you think Byron is to me? Some kind of charity case? Someone who’s different enough to tickle me for a week before I find more fun things to do? Is that what you think of me? Of By?”

 

He closed some of the distance between them.

 

“For your information, I like Byron.” He did. The kid was funny. So he didn’t know all the rules of propriety and did things others found weird - to Jeff that only made him all the better. The three hours he’d spent with him today had been cool. He liked watching cartoons and listening to By chatter. “And I think you’re unfair in thinking no one would want to spend time with him.”

 

He saw confusion war with disbelief in Percy’s eyes along with an almost pathetic kind of hope and it clicked in place for Jefferson. The other boy was terrified for his brother. He was protecting him from disappointment, from the feeling of having no friends. From what Percy might feel like every day. Here he’d been getting angry thinking the other boy didn’t think he was good enough or smart enough or whatever to deal with his brother who needed some special care. When actually it was Percy who felt inadequate, like he wasn’t enough because his brother’s life was in all probability hard. And he couldn’t protect him from that.

 

Feeling his anger subside like a boiling kettle pulled off the stove he ran a hand through his hair.

 

“Listen, Percy. I understand what you’re saying. I would never do anything to upset By. I like spending time with him, and I don’t view him like some kind of...novelty. But if you don’t believe me then I’ll stop coming round.”

 

For a while the other boy stood motionless, clearly thinking over what Jeff had just said. Then with a sigh he stuffed his hands in his pockets and smiled.

 

“So, wanna stay for dinner?”

 

A little bubble that had been lodged under his breastbone burst and filled his chest with the warmth of a laugh. Letting it escape he slung an arm around Percy’s shoulders.

 

“I thought you’d never ask.”

 

o.O.o

 

An exalted Byron kept a stream of commentary of what they had done for playtime going at the same time as shuffling his (already cut, like on all the plates today) spaghetti into his mouth. Little specks of ketchup had spattered his glasses but he didn’t seem to notice. Over it Mr Whale, who had appeared just in time for dinner, tried to interview Jeff about his car. Having spotted it in the driveway he seemed torn between childish excitement and stern disapproval over the black convertible.

 

Jefferson saw little of Percy in the large, balding man wearing a plaid shirt and looking older than he probably was. He had a sour turn to his mouth.

 

When the conversation shifted to what Percy had studied at the library Jeff observed with amusement that his parents didn’t seem to know what to make of their son. Mrs Whale watched him in confused awe whereas Mr Whale’s look was harder to read. It was both bitter and wondering, but there was a tinge of pride there too. Like he couldn’t believe the person sitting at the table spouting words like “periodic table” and “empirically evidenced” was actually his child.

 

After dinner he ended up on Percy’s bed, the other boy on the seat by the desk.

 

“So that’s you dad.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“He seems to like cars.”

 

“He loves them. He’s trying to be disapproving because he’s all about how the rich live off the poor and make their money from the sweat off their backs. He doesn’t like that you’re...oh” He trailed off, glancing over at him.

 

“It’s okay, you can say it. He doesn’t like that I’m rich.”

 

“Pretty much.”

 

“And what about you? Do you hate me cause I’m rich?”

 

Percy smiled a little, toying with a pencil.

 

“I don’t hate you. And if I did I’d pick a better reason than your trust fund.”

 

The smile was small, just a tilt to the corner of his mouth, really. But in it Jefferson saw that part of the wall that Percy had kept between them had collapsed and like sunshine breaking through he could see a glimpse of the real person that lived inside.

 

“Like?”

“Like...how you’re annoying.”

 

Jeff grinned, not taking any offense.

 

“I’m annoying? But you still don’t hate me?”

 

“I’m starting to. Don’t you have anything better to ask?”

 

“Sure, I do.” Jeff got up and began looking at Percy’s model planes. He couldn’t imagine the time, effort and patience that had to go into making even just one of them. “What sort of a name is Byron?”

 

“Byron?” Percy blinked. “Like the poet.”

 

“He’s named for a poet?”

 

“Yeah, Lord Byron. Mum adores him. Lived in the eighteenth century, terribly handsome, died young?”

 

“Never heard of him. Is Percy a poet too?”

 

“He was. It’s for Percy Shelley. If I were a girl I’d have been Shelley. He was the husband of Mary Shelley - who wrote Frankenstein.” He got up and grinned. “And some say, the inspiration for the character of Victor Frankenstein.”

 

“Ah, so that’s why you named your dog Frankenstein.”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“How can someone love poetry? It’s so dull.” Jeff ran a finger gently over one of the models.

 

“Have you read a lot of it?” Percy joined him, looking at the planes. “Any, at all?”

 

Jeff grinned and shook his head.

 

“No. But it’s like the dentist - you don’t have to go to know it’s not going to be fun. It something old people like.”

 

“Maybe.” Percy shrugged. “I think you might like it. It’s less about order and structure and more about how things really feel.”

 

“Hmm,” Jeff afforded him. Poetry was for old professor types in tweed jackets who could write a thesis on “what the author really meant” from a shopping list.

 

“Like that plane?” Percy gestured to the one Jeff was poking at.

 

“It’s neat.”

 

“It’s a Spitfire. It flew during WWII, the most popular plane in the RAF. It had a higher victory to loss ratio than the Hurricanes.” He pointed to another model. “The wings are elliptical which…” He trailed off, a slight color staining his cheeks. “Ah, you don’t really want to hear about that.”

 

“You know, actually I do.”

 

And as darkness fell outside he listened to Percy enthusiastically describe the planes on the shelf, their models and makes and where they’d flown. In his voice history became something more than just a list of years to be memorized for a test. It became something alive and breathing. Like the humans who had made history - they were more than a page to be turned over. How had he never seen that before?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it, stay tuned for the continuation :)


	5. Chapter 5

Percy had an extra training session with the maths club for some competition so for the first time in a few weeks Jeff was free for a weekday afternoon. Knowing where he’d find his friends, he headed to the Diner.

 

Granny’s Diner was an institution in Storybrooke. Owned by his friend Ruby Lucas’ grandmother it had been a gathering place for the young since it opened in the 50’s. Inside little had changed and the red vinyl seats, checkered floor and garish jukebox all proved time passed slower in some places than others.

 

Opening the door and stepping into the smell of lemon detergent, frying hamburgers and the typical mix of teenage odours - hairspray, bubble gum and sweat. The music had been upgraded on the jukebox (at Ruby’s insistence) and Cindy Lauper was singing about wanting to have fun. It looked like Ruby was working this afternoon and when she spotted him she set down the heavy tray she was carrying on the counter and headed over. He tucked his sunglasses into the neck of his t-shirt and met her.

 

“Hey, Jeff. You ok?” Her eyes were searching, probably remembering the times when Jefferson hadn’t appeared for days on end before. Times when he’d fought when his father, or when he was younger when he’d left just see if his dad would care. Those days hadn’t been good and Ruby knew it as she’d sat with him for parts of it. She hadn’t poked at him for answers or tried to gauge how he was feeling, she’d just sat there watching TV or played cards with him. It had helped more than any of the child psychiatrists his dad had hired to “evaluate the situation”.

 

“I’m fine.” He reached out, squeezed her arm. “I promise.” He pressed a kiss on her cheek just because she was sweet to ask. He caught a touch of her perfume - Blasé he knew it was called as he’d gotten her a bottle for her birthday. “I’ve been busy. I got myself a tutor.”

 

She put her hands on her hips, dressed in the red skirt and white shirt that was the uniform for Granny’s staff - unless you were Granny. Rebelling against the dress code Ruby had matched it with red Converse and heavy eyeliner.

 

“You did not.”

 

“I did too. And he’s a slave driver,” he smiled. Percy might be all stern about timings and projections and stuff but it had only taken him an afternoon before he knew how Jefferson learned best and then taught him that way. “Nah, he’s pretty cool.”

 

“You have a tutor and you think he’s cool? Who is this magical creature?”

 

“Percy Whale.”

 

Ruby’s well manicured eyebrows travelled up her forehead. “Percy Whale is pretty cool?”

Jefferson tilted his head, his tone mild.

 

“Yes, he is.”

 

“If you say so, I guess…” Her tone was doubting.

 

“I’ll bring him one day and you’ll see for yourself. Are the others here too?”

 

“Yeah, in the corner. Want your usual?”

 

“How come you always look better when you offer me food?” he winked.

 

She threw her head back and laughed before leaving him. Behind them Archie Hopper, the new kid in his class straightened slightly. He was sitting at the counter as he was studying and would sometimes join the others when he was done. He had sandy colored hair, mild manners and terrible crush on Ruby. She’d invited him into the gang and though he was nice everyone could see he was mostly there for her. Well, everyone except her could see it.

 

“All right there, Archie?” He clapped a hand on the other boy’s shoulder in sympathy before heading to the table where the others were sitting. He’d never been bothered by feelings as uncomfortable and inconvenient as the other boy and he was glad. Being in love seemed an awful hassle.

 

His favored corner spot in the corner was taken by Neal. Emma was next to him, David and MM across. Belle had to be studying as she wasn’t there. Sliding into the booth next to Emma, he joined the two couples.

 

Before he could greet anyone Ruby brought him his cherry Coke and announced,

 

“Jeff has gotten himself a tutor.”

 

Exclamations of disbelief bounced around the table like tennis balls.

 

“And it’s Percy Whale,” Ruby continued. Looking behind her as the little bell above the door jingled she turned. “And with that news I have to go.”

 

For a second after she left the table was quiet. Then Emma spoke,

 

“Your new tutor is Percy Whale? The kid who wears bow ties and side parts his hair?”

 

Jeff shrugged. “What does it matter what he wears? He’s smart. And pretty funny.”

 

“Wait, you’re friends now?” Neal interjected.

 

“Yeah,” Jefferson looked out over the Diner, still a little surprised by it himself. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

 

In their defence once his friends heard he liked Percy they laid off. Though he could still see them sending him rather incredulous looks throughout the afternoon. He guessed they were just a strange match. Percy liked school, Jefferson did anything to avoid it. Percy loved quiet, Jeff noise. Percy loved order and Jeff adored chaos. Still, they’d found a sliver of common ground and were now standing on it. If it was a large enough sliver to build something resembling lasting friendship on only time would tell.

 

o.O.o

 

Slamming his car door shut Jeff jogged up the stairs to the Whale house and knocked quickly before entering. Calling hello he headed down the hall when Mrs Whale poked her head out of the kitchen.

 

“Jefferson, could I speak to you a minute?”

 

Heading back, confused by the serious timbre in her voice he joined her in the kitchen. The brown and yellow room wasn’t as spotless as usual and Mrs W’s hair was dirty and pulled back into a ponytail. Her cardigan today had a hole on the sleeve. She looked tired. A protectiveness he didn’t know where it had come from gripped him. She looked so small and worn.

 

“Are you okay, Mrs W?”

 

“Have a seat, Jefferson. Do you want anything? I could…” She trailed off, looking around the kitchen a little helplessly as if she’d just realized she didn’t actually have anything.

 

“I’m okay, thank you. Just tell me what it is.”

 

She picked up a cup of coffee he got the impression was left from the morning and this was the first chance she’d had to finish it. Staring out through the window she sipped.

 

“I know you and Percy are friends. I just thought maybe… Maybe you could reach him.” She turned back to face him, the grooves around her eyes deeper than normal today. “He does too much. He barely sleeps, Jefferson. When he doesn’t have school he’s tutoring and doing extracurriculars. When he comes home he helps with Byron and then he does his homework until late at night. I worry for him, Jefferson. He’s so pale, and tired, always tired.” She set the coffee down.

 

“All he dreams about is going to Yale and getting the Masterson grant so he can go. His father and I...well, we don’t have any way of helping him. Any money goes to Byron and what he needs, his medical bills and prescriptions. Percy’s only way to get to university is this one chance and though I want nothing more for him than getting his dream he can’t go on as he is. He’s working himself into the ground.”

 

She pushed her hands through her hair, a few ash blonde tangles falling free.

 

“I’ve tried talking to him but he doesn’t want to listen. Byron has good days and bad days and there have been a few bad ones lately. I’ve done what I can to ease the pressure off Percy but I can’t make him rest. Or eat.”

 

She put a hand on his shoulder, squeezed.

 

“You’re a good boy. Will you please talk to him?”

 

Guilt like he had never known it opened its black, greasy jaws and swallowed him whole. Enveloped in its cold embrace of dread Jeff berated himself. Here he was, happy to be part of a family in a way, but he hadn’t really been. He’d just been enjoying the noise and the people, poking his head in and out of their lives. But families helped each other and he had been completely oblivious to the plight of this one. You didn’t have to be as smart as Percy to know there was little money to spare in this house. Of course the other boy would never mention anything that risked cutting off part of the income that put food on the table to him. Food Jefferson had unconcernedly helped himself to. The tutoring money was probably an important income stream and Percy had put his future at risk for it.

 

Sick to his stomach for being so blind, Jefferson rose.

 

“I’ll speak to him Mrs W. Don’t worry.” He squeezed her hand pressed a kiss to her cheek. Her skin was soft and she smelled of laundry powder and dried roses.

 

Entering Percy’s room with a leaden weight in his stomach he found the other boy asleep. Bent over his desk, his cheek resting on an open heavy tome. The desk lamp spread a golden circle of light just big enough to envelop his desk and chair. Like spotlight on a stage. “Portrait of selflessness” he supposed it could be titled if it was a picture. It did have a monochrome quality to it, the dark room and the one light source that just illuminated the boy, leaving the surroundings shrouded in darkness.

 

“Percy.” He stepped closer. “Percy.” 

 

The blond boy woke slowly, his brow creasing like his body was reluctant to let him go from sleep. Blinking to clear his eyes his eyelashes painted long shadows over the book he was sleeping on. Chemistry.

 

“Your mum said you’re not sleeping but that can’t be right since you are right now at...three forty-five in the afternoon.”

 

Percy sat up, rubbed his eyes.

 

“I decided to skip debate club today and catch up on some things. It’s already three forty-five?”

 

“First of all, don’t try and make it sound normal. You don’t skip things. Secondly, which should actually be first, what the hell, Percy? You’re not sleeping, you barely eat?”

 

“You’ve been talking to my mum.”

 

“I sure have. Percy, why wouldn’t you tell me you don’t have the time in a day to tutor for hours? I thought you did your homework at school not sitting up until the small hours just to finish.”

 

“Just the extra credit stuff,” Percy mumbled.

 

“‘Just the extra…’” Jefferson threw his hands up. “Well, it ends now. I won’t be the cause when you have some sort of nervous breakdown. No more.”

 

Percy stood, suddenly wide awake.

 

“You can’t do that. You...you haven’t caught up yet.”

 

“No, but that’s less important than you getting to Yale. It’s your dream. I’m not going to be the deadweight that prevented it, Percy.”

 

“You’re not. You won’t be. I just need to buckle down and catch up, then I’ll be able to manage again. It’s just sorting out the time management and-”

 

“Can you hear yourself right now? You’re talking about cramming twenty-four hours into twelve. There’s not enough hours in the day for the workload you’ve taken on.”

 

“I can do it, Jefferson. I’ll still tutor you, I’ll just take on less extra credit work, cut down my extracurriculars.”

 

“Like hell you will. If this is about money, Percy, then know it’ll stay the same whether you tutor me for twenty hours a week or ten.”

 

The blonde boy’s face paled to parchment before color washed back over it, staining his cheeks in angry red. His fists curled at his sides and he straightened.

 

“I don’t accept charity. I’ll be paid for the hours I put in. That’s how it works. I’m not your community service project just because you have money and we don’t.”

 

Anger that he wouldn’t see boiled in him. Percy was standing there pretending everything was fine when he had dark circles the size of saucers around his eyes. When he thought it was normal to sit up through the night just to get through a day’s work.

 

“I don’t think of you as charity, Percy. I like being here. I like your family, your house, you. I just want it to stay the same.”

 

“Then let it!” Percy’s tone climbed. Caught between pride and the need for the money he looked trapped. Jefferson checked his temper, took a deep breath.

 

“Not when it’s costing you this much. You might not want to be charity but I don’t want to be another burden on your shoulders. You have too many already.”

 

“You're nobody’s burden, Jefferson.”

“No? Ask my dad.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Then how about this. I’ll agree to let you keep tutoring me but not as many hours a day and not every day. When you’re not tutoring me I want you to let me help out around here. I can watch Byron or do the shopping or whatever normal people do.”

 

“You want to go grocery shopping?”

“I like the Piggly Wiggly.”

 

Percy snorted. Drew a deep breath.

 

“Whatever normal people do? What planet are you from?” He chuckled weakly. “Fine. Fine. We’ll do less hours - and I’ll still be paid per hour we work. We’ll still work at your place but if you like hanging here then that’s fine by me.”

 

“All right,” Jefferson agreed. The first thing he’d do when he got home was con his dad into giving Percy a raise on his hourly rate. With the results he’d had already it shouldn’t be too hard.

 

“Okay then.” Percy relaxed again, the temper fading from his blue eyes like ice melting in the spring. “Are you here to see By?”

“No, actually I came tell you something.” Amused by himself for feeling a bit self-conscious, Jeff tucked his thumbs in his jean pockets. “Some good news. The coach found me today and told me my GPA is now high enough for him to let me back on the baseball team.”

 

“Jefferson, that’s amazing!” That unguarded smile he’d seen once before slid over Percy’s features though this time it was a full grin. “You earned it too. I knew you’d get there really quick.”

 

“I didn’t.”

 

“That’s why my GPA is higher than yours,” Percy joked and Jefferson laughed.

 

“Smartass.”

 

“That’s right. Okay, now we have to celebrate. Ice cream, I think.” He headed out and Jefferson followed. Walking behind him he realized Percy was the first person he had told. The first person he’d wanted to tell. He was looking forward to telling Ruby, and Neal, and the rest of the gang but when the coach had told him his first impulse had been to tell Percy. Not too strange, he told himself. After all without the other boy he’d never would have been asked back.

 

Joining Percy in the kitchen he noticed the blond boy was still smiling and excitedly told his mother the good news. Mrs W sent him a grateful look behind Percy’s back while he dug around in the freezer and he winked.

 

“That’s wonderful news, Jefferson. We’d love to come to one of your games.”

 

A lump in his throat that he told himself he was too old to experience at parental approval made him clear his voice before telling her season didn’t start until March. Until then the team would just be practicing.

 

“Well, you let us know when it is, hear?”

 

“Yes, Mrs W.”

 

Then she left after giving his hair an affectionate pat. Percy handed him his bowl of ice cream,

 

“I think she might like you better than me,” he joked.

 

“I’ve told you before, I’m irresistible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read and special thanks to victorfrankenwhale for commenting, it made my day :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This chapter is really long, so hopefully that makes up for the slightly longer than normal wait :) It took me a while to edit through... Things are picking up, ever so slowly for our main duo and I really hope you like it!

With the rearranged hours and Jefferson resigning himself to the idea that he’d sometimes have to study alone instead of completely relying on his trusty tutor, Percy’s workload improved. He did have a minute or two now and then to relax.

 

He quite liked it.

 

Jefferson had been serious about helping out, it turned out and Percy had so far found him bringing home shopping for his mum, getting Byron to take his meds and helping his dad repaint his parents’ bedroom. By had already liked Jefferson but his parents were now completely enamoured as well. His dad had even forgotten he had money and offered the high praise that he was a “decent kid”. His mom was always forcing food on Jeff, and chasing him with a comb to “fix” his hair. So far Jefferson had managed to escape and keep his styled, tousled look intact. Still, it greatly amused Percy to imagine the fashionable, well cut volume forced into a slicked side parting by his mom.

 

With Jefferson on the baseball team again he finished the same time as Percy three days a week and would meet him in the parking lot. If they weren’t hanging out he’d ask if Percy wanted to come to the Diner. 

 

And one afternoon Percy decided he did.

 

Walking behind Jefferson his heart was beating fast, glancing around to see if Sidney Glass and his pals were around. But it was fairly quiet, the biggest table occupied by Jefferson’s friends.

 

“Everyone, this is Percy. Percy, that’s Emma, Neal, Ruby, Archie, David, MM and Belle.” He pointed to them in turn and cursing his coloring he felt himself redden under the gaze of so many kids at once.

 

“Jefferson, we’ve been in the same class since junior high. I know their names.”

 

“Oh, Jeff’s just showing off. It took him until last week to learn our names,” Neal Gold said from the corner. “Grab a seat. Everyone, make some room.”

 

Somehow, though he wasn’t sure physics allowed for it, he and Jefferson were squeezed into the booth as well. Across from him was Ruby Lucas and Belle French, two of the prettiest girls in school. Jefferson was joking with them and Percy wondered how he did it. How he was so easygoing, how he could make everyone laugh. It wasn’t a skill Percy possessed.

 

“So, Jeff says you’re sure to get him caught up in four months. Are you some kind of genius?” Ruby Lucas was speaking to him. Looking right at him and there was no mocking in her voice, no menace in her eyes. Not that she had done that before but usually he was...invisible.

 

“Ah…” Her eyes were really green. Like spring leaves. “Only compared to Jefferson.”

 

“Ha ha.” Jefferson elbowed him. “Very funny.” He waved to the waitress and pointed to himself and Percy. 

 

She nodded and Jefferson sank back down in the seat. “Percy is a genius compared to most people. He’s a chess champion, mathlete winner, recipient of some young scientists’ award and he’s going to Yale for pre-med in the fall.”

 

Feeling the damnable colour wash over his cheeks again, Percy looked down at his hands resting on the table. He was impressed Jefferson remembered that many of his plaques but he wished he hadn't shared it with his friends. They probably thought he was a massive dork already and this would just add to it.

 

“Really? Yale? That’s amazing! Right, Belle? Belle here is going to Harvard for English Lit,” Ruby bumped shoulders with the brunette girl next to her. 

 

In a few minutes they were caught up in a conversation about library referencing and he was impressed with her ideas for how to update the Dewey Decimal System.

 

From there he was somehow pulled into other conversations and got so caught up he forgot to feel like an outsider. A cherry Coke appeared in front of him and the taste of it was joyous. Bubbling like the fizzy drink on the inside he talked to people he’d never known outside of a classroom. He found out Neal could play the guitar, that Emma was on the basketball team. MM and David who had been Prom King and Queen in junior high and were rumored to be a shoo in for the senior prom as well were both sweet and not like popular kids normally were at all. MM, who he had barely spoken to before wanted to be a teacher and spoke with a passion about education. Archie, the new kid in their class, was nice and seemed to listen more than he spoke but they found common ground for an interest in the most recent Biology homework.

 

He enjoyed watching the dynamics of the group where Belle, Archie, David and MM were the soft-spoken ones matched by the louder Neal, Emma, Ruby and Jefferson. But it worked. Their voiced ebbed and flowed, sometimes teasing sometimes serious. But mostly they laughed a lot.

 

Within the group there seemed to be subsets. First of all there were the couples, he already knew David and MM were together, as well as Emma and Neal. But there seemed to be other ties as well. Something deeper than just the group of friends. Emma and MM were clearly close. Jeff and Ruby were similar, almost like siblings and they formed another sub-set. Archie was harder to pinpoint but there was something in how he leaned in closer when he spoke to Ruby and always seemed to be slightly angled towards her, even when speaking to someone else that told Percy the sandy haired boy felt something more than friendship for the pretty waitress.

 

The jukebox in the corner played and when they left Percy still had music ringing in his ears. Jefferson replaced it with actual music in the car, clicking the radio on.

 

“Want to go somewhere?”

 

“Where?” 

 

Jefferson shrugged.

 

“Nowhere in particular. I just don’t feel like heading home yet.”

 

“Okay.”

 

With the heat blasting in the car they sat in comfortable silence while the dark, shapeless outside rushed by. They drove and drove. The impressions of the day, of the people he’d met swirled in his head. He was meeting Belle and MM to study at the library later in the week. When Ruby had heard he’d never seen the Breakfast Club she’d insisted they had to go see it and had made plans for this weekend as it was, in her words, a matter of emergency. Neal had overheard Jefferson teasing him over his non-existent music collection and had offered to head to the music shop with him. Three events in his social calendar in one week. It was pretty incredible.

 

And all because he’d ventured to the Diner with Jefferson.

 

Focused on the road ahead Jefferson was relaxed in his seat. His hands on the wheel were nothing like ten to two as his driving instructor had nagged about. If anything they were more like half past one, the minute hand particularly lazy. He was dressed in once black jeans faded to gray and a white t-shirt and a jean shirt under his letterman jacket. His hair was getting long and curled over the collar. Though summer was now long past the edges were still golden. Some strands fell over his forehead and he kept tossing them out of his eyes. In the light of the car they were a silvery grey. Changing gears the muscles in his legs shifted when he engaged the clutch. Giving up on the second hand on the wheel he rested it on his leg and Percy realized he’d been staring.

 

Twitching uncomfortably and hoping Jefferson hadn’t noticed, he turned to look out the window instead. They’d ended up somewhere where he could see moonlight glittering on water through the glass.

 

“Where are we?”

 

“Saltwater Bay is just up the road. Someone used to live here but it was abandoned a long time ago. The road is more like track. But the view of the water is the best.”

 

Getting out of the car Percy had to agree. A small clearing, the dilapidated house in the back and then just open water ahead. To the left you could see the lighthouse and it was flashing slowly in greeting. After a moment music started up after Jefferson changed the cassette and knowing leaving the windows open in the freezing night was on the list of things the other boy didn’t care about Percy resolved to just enjoy the sound of it. There was something powerful about being in the middle of nowhere, with a stunning view and hear the rasping tones of Bruce Springsteen sweeten the air.

 

Jefferson rounded the hood and pulled himself up to sit on it. Following suit Percy pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Next to him Jefferson pulled a cigarette from the pack and lit it, the flame illuminating his face with flickering shadows for a moment. Inhaling deeply he laid down, his back on the windshield. The smoke rose above him like a cloud before disappearing into the air.

 

“How did you find this place?”

 

Jefferson shrugged. “Accident. I drive around a lot.”

 

He didn’t have to voice the rest - so he didn’t have to be home by himself. Percy heard it all the same.

 

“Oh. Well, it’s really nice. The view is awesome.”

 

“Yeah, I like it.”

 

For a minute they just stayed in silence, the song building behind them. Rolling out over the sea in front of them. 

 

“What’s the name of this song?”

 

“Tougher Than the Rest.”

 

“It’s good.”

 

“Yeah. It’s good.”

 

Percy laid down as well, watching the stars above, the sky fringed with the tops of the trees, like framing a picture.

 

They stayed long after it got too cold, both with freezing fingers when they got back in the car. While they drove back Percy thought it had been one of the best days he’d had.

 

o.O.o

 

He had liked the Breakfast Club, had laughed when Ruby spoke the same lines as the actors in between munching on Red Vines. Neal had helped him find the right Bruce Springsteen tape for some of his new favorite songs and studying with MM and Belle had been fun. They were both conscientious and didn’t talk constantly (like Jefferson when he studied) but it was nice to talk for five minutes every once in a while. Though Belle wouldn’t let them use anything above a whisper in the library.

 

All four of them had asked him to join them at the Diner again so he thought they must like him, at least a little.

 

Looking up from his Maths notes he heard his mom knock. He could tell it was her as it was a quiet, polite one. Byron didn’t knock, his father banged loudly and Jefferson just knocked quickly before entering.

 

“Yeah?”

 

His mom popped her head around the door.

 

“There’s someone on the phone for you.” Her voice lowered to a whisper as if the person on the phone would be able to hear all the way from the kitchen. “And it’s a girl.”

 

“Thanks Mom, I’ll get it.” 

 

Ignoring his mother’s obvious eavesdropping he picked up the receiver to hear Ruby’s excited tones. He caught something about camping, pack a bag and pick you up in an hour, then a cheery “bye” before she rang off. Staring at the phone for a moment he shook his head before turning to his mom.

 

“I’m going camping.” His mother clapped her hands together, her eyes a little glittery, looking at him like he’d just won the first prize in something.

 

“Of course. I’ll pack you some food.”

 

True to Ruby’s word Jefferson’s car appeared outside the door an hour later. Tossing his backpack in the boot he climbed in.

 

“Where is everyone?”

 

“Ruby, Archie and Belle are in Ruby’s car. Emma, Neal, David and MM are in Neal’s car. We’ll meet them there.”

 

Jefferson pulled out of the drive, narrowly missing the bins. Not, Percy knew, because of a lack of skill but rather because of enough certainty he’d miss them, if narrowly.

 

“We’re not actually sleeping outside are we? It’s freezing.” Percy shuddered inwardly at the thought.

 

“No, of course not. Ruby didn’t tell you? We’re going to my cabin.”

 

“Your cabin?”

 

Jefferson smiled at Percy’s tone as he took the turn to leave Storybrooke. “Well, it’s my family’s but my father hates nature so no one but me goes there. I think he’s forgotten it exists.”

 

That Jefferson preferred his father didn’t remember it was unspoken but clear. 

 

An hour and half later they slowed down, bumping along a drive filled with potholes. Trees stood so close they almost brushed the sides of the car. Then suddenly the trail widened to a clearing. To the right was a small beach on a lake glittering in the late autumn sunshine. Straight ahead stood a large house Percy wouldn’t have described as a cabin. It was made of rustic looking logs but there ended any similarity to something as humble as a cabin. It was enormous. Huge windows centered it and a deck wrapped around both stories.

 

“This is your ‘cabin’?” He asked as they got out of the car.

 

“Neat, huh? And best part,” Jeff leaned over the hood of the car and stage whispered, “no parents!”

 

Infected by his good mood Percy laughed. Helping Jefferson with the bags the other boy pretended to stagger under his duffel.

 

“You had to bring the whole library, did you?”

 

“You’re still making up for this afternoon tomorrow. And I have a project due Monday.”

 

“Between you, Archie, Belle and MM there aren’t going to be any books left for the rest of the town this weekend.”

 

They brought the bags inside and Jefferson padded around turning on the heat, starting a fire and setting up the boombox he’d brought. Just as he finished the two other cars appeared in the drive. A minute later the house was filled with voices, laughter and music.

 

Percy had never experienced anything like it. He felt like he was part of it, his voice joining the cadence of the others, his steps over the floor mixing with theirs, his laugh ringing with many.

 

Beers and sodas, chips and sweets spread their aromas in the air. In a few hours the large living room with its large fireplace and deep couches was littered with cans and empty chip bags. Music was booming and everyone but Archie and Percy were dancing.

 

“You don’t want to dance?” Archie asked and nodded to the others bouncing around.

 

“I have no idea how to dance to this.” He sipped his Coke. “What about you?”

 

Archie shook his head.

 

“It’s not really my style.”

 

“You don’t know how to dance either, do you?”

 

The other boy laughed.

 

“Got me.” He looked past Percy’s shoulder and he saw his gaze melt from laughter to wistfulness. There was no point in turning around to know he’d just spotted Ruby. He did anyway and saw her dancing, a beer in one hand. Her dark hair was fashionably styled and spilled around her shoulders and down her back. Wearing dark jeans and a skin skimming jumper as she moved gracefully, laughing at something MM had just said, she looked every inch the teenage dream. Spotting him, she twirled away. With the laughter still dancing on her face she headed over, a dance still in her step.

 

“What are you doing over here? Come and dance with us!”

 

“No, I…” both Percy and Archie began but Ruby just grabbed them by the arms and lead them over to the impromptu dance floor. Couches had been pushed away and the carpet rolled up to make space for it.

 

In a second she’d pulled Archie away, the boy only seeming half displeased.

 

Before he could make it back to the couch - and safety - Jefferson appeared before him. He looked warm and a little bit removed from sober.

 

“Why aren’t you dancing, Perce?”

 

“I don’t really know how to dance to this,” he gestured to the pounding pop crashing over them.

 

“This?” He tilted his head. “What do you know how to dance to then?”

 

“I don’t know. Normal dances. Waltz, foxtrot.”

 

Jefferson stopped mid motion, eyes widening comically. “Get outta town. You don’t know how to waltz.”

 

“You don’t?”

“Of course not! Where would I learn?” He peered closely at Percy. “Where did you learn?”

 

“Mom taught me. Anyway, I’m going to get another soda so…”

 

“No, no, I don’t think so.” He slung an arm around Percy’s shoulder. He smelled of the pine trees outside and a deeper note of smoke from his cigarettes. He wished he found it more unappealing. “This demands a demonstration. Everybody!” Jefferson was warm from dancing and it radiated against Percy’s side, through his clothes. “Percy here says he can’t dance with us because he’s used to waltzing.”

 

Whooping and some good natured jokes came his way. Belle came to his rescue.

 

“Oh, stop it. I know how to waltz too. It’s not weird.”

 

“It’s kind of weird,” Jefferson laughed. But Percy, a master now at reading mockery, knew it held no spite for him. “Though,” he held up a finger.”Since it’s so normal, I think we should all learn. You better give us a demonstration.”

 

“No, I really don’t -” Percy moved to disentangle himself from Jefferson. He wasn’t used to being the center of attention. 

 

“Belle here is without a partner, would a gentleman do that to a lady?”

 

Belle shook her head, laughingly pushing Jefferson away as she stepped closer and put a hand on his arm.

 

“It’s okay, Percy. They’re just being silly. But if you want we can show them how it’s done?” Her blue eyes smiled and her soft lilt was understanding. Then she winked and he couldn’t help the chuckle.

 

“Okay,” he heard himself say. “We’ll show them. Neal,” he spoke to the boy closest to the boombox. “I think Springsteen’s My Father’s House is in ¾. Or close enough to waltz anyway.”

 

“Roger.” After a moment’s fiddling the slow, nostalgic music started.

 

Jokingly he bowed and extended his hand as the others cheered and backed to give them space. Belle giggled and curtsied, accepting his hand. Finding the beat he pulled her into position and then with a nod took her into the first turn. She was light on her feet and followed easily. She was probably a lot better than him but her easy movement made it look more effortless, which he appreciated as he was counting in his head. To manage a turn together he pulled her closer and she followed easily, pressed into him. Catcalls from the others at this made his ears pink. So with a last spin for her he dropped her hand. Gracefully she completed it and curtsied again. The others clapped and cheered and Jefferson appeared next to him again.

 

“You’re so strange.” There was no judgment or mocking in this statement. If anything it sounded admiring.

“I’m strange? You study sometimes hanging upside down from your chin up bar and you think teapots are pieces of art. And you like the white jelly beans. You are just plain weird. Mad.”

 

“That’s just personality.” He grinned. “So will you teach us how to waltz now, since it’s so normal and we heathens can’t do it?”

 

“You want me to teach you how to waltz?”

 

Jefferson shrugged. “You’re teaching me a lot of other stuff. Why not?”

 

“Because…” he searched Jefferson’s face. He looked sincere. “You really want to know how?”

 

“Yeah! It looks cool. I want to be able to wear one of those…” he waved behind him “coats with tails and waltz. I’ll look badass.”

 

Percy sniggered. “Badass? In a tux?”

 

“A tux, that’s it! Why, you don’t think I will?”

 

“Ah…” He tried to contain the laughter for another second. Then he let it break free and Jefferson joined him.

 

A minute later the tape had been rewinded and Percy showed Jefferson the steps standing next to him. To his surprise all the others had joined as well and Belle was doing the same steps with the girls opposite. Unsurprisingly, Jefferson learned quickly like he did everything else. The others paired off, except Belle who was helping Neal and Emma who both appeared to have two left feet. That left Jefferson and Percy. About to settle back to watch the others, Jefferson stopped him by taking his hand. With a bow and a flourish, he bent low over Percy’s hand.

 

“May I have this dance, sir?”

 

Percy laughed uncertainly. It was sometimes hard to tell when Jefferson was serious and when he was joking.

 

“Very funny, Jefferson.”

 

“Who’s funny? How am I going to learn if I don’t dance with someone?”

 

“Ask Belle. Or Ruby.”

 

“They look like they’re busy. You’re not. And you know how to do it. Come on, Perce,” he grinned, the smile slipping into charming. “Please?”

 

Percy threw his hands up. Jefferson’s friends would know it was him who’d instigated this joke. “Fine.”

 

Jefferson put a hand to his shoulder, took his hand. Looked at him expectantly. 

 

“You want me to lead?”

 

“It seems sensible.”

 

Percy swallowed, his throat a bit dry as he put his hand to Jefferson’s back. It felt strong and warm under the shirt he wore. Counting, for both their benefits, he stepped into the turn. Jefferson had no problem taking the steps he’d just learned, but mirroring them the other way, following. Percy had a hard time concentrating on the counting, more occupied with not stepping on Jefferson’s feet or tripping. 

 

“Hey, I don’t think staring at your feet is how it’s meant to go.”

 

Nervously, Percy looked up and met the other boy’s gray eyes. A laugh was dancing in them and his lips were smiling. They were closer than they had ever been and Percy could see specks of darker gray and blue in his irises. Forgetting to count, his feet moved on their own and if he could have seen it, he’d have seen his polished leather shoes moving, mirrored by scuffed black Converse with frayed laces. 

 

o.O.o

 

The firepit outside was sunk into the ground, making natural seating all around. Dressed in various jackets and blankets they’d found inside they sat around it, grilling hot dogs and marshmallows. Neal had brought a guitar out and was playing whatever came to mind. Sometimes the others would join in. Ruby and Jeff had the best voices besides Neal and managed to cover some of the off key enthusiasm from the others.

 

Seated next to Belle and Ruby, Emma joined them when she returned from the latest drinks run. Plopping down on the ground she leaned her back against Mary Margaret’s knees and took a sip from her beer. Her friend absentmindedly began toying with Emma’s blonde hair. Unlike the other girls hers wasn’t styled according to the fashion but hung in heavy, long locks down her back.

 

“I love it when he plays. I could watch him forever.”

 

“He does look pretty sexy when he plays the guitar,” Ruby agreed and Emma giggled - something he didn’t hear her do often.

 

“There is something about a guy playing the guitar…” MM said, a little dreamily.

 

“Can I ask for science - is it if you hold the guitar or do you actually have to play?” Percy asked and the girls laughed, looked at each other and responded as one -

 

“Play!”

 

“Damn.”

 

“Don’t worry, Percy, you stop doing that thing to your hair and give up on the bowties and you’ll be sexy too. Guitar or no.”

 

“Gee, thanks, Lucas.” 

 

She laughed and toasted him.

 

Belle was the first to say good night, stating she was tired. David and MM soon followed leaving the smaller group.

 

Rearranging how they were sitting to be closer together Ruby claimed she was cold and scooted closer to Archie. Percy could see a light in the sandy haired boy’s eyes that had nothing to do with the dancing flames reflecting in them.

 

“Right, my fingers are crying.” Neal stood, lowering the guitar. “Jeff, you want to take over?”

 

“Nah, I’m okay,” he shook his head.

 

Percy tilted his head. “You play?”

 

“A bit.”

“Well, I think you should. I was forced to showcase my hidden talents earlier.”

 

Jefferson laughed. “You want to hear me play?” He shrugged and accepted the instrument from Neal. Bending over it, he looked up with a grin. “I won’t promise you can waltz to it.”

 

“Get bent,” Percy replied, quite proud he’d picked it up from his new friends.

 

“You’re learning some terrible habits. I can’t imagine from who.”

 

“Whom.”

 

“Get bent,” Jefferson returned and bent over the guitar again. A few trying chords to test it was tuned sounded as the fire crackled. Then he picked a tune out and Percy could only wonder how the permanently antsy Jefferson had had the patience to sit and practice enough to manage to play the guitar so well.

 

He recognised the song from one of his friend’s tapes. Free Falling. It suited him, the dreamy tones about going away somewhere out of the dreary, everyday world. He slanted an ironic smile when he sang about being a bad boy. 

 

His hair fell over his forehead as he played, his eyes fastened on the snapping flames. He seemed to be in his own world. For a moment in time he was still. Jefferson was constantly moving, constantly changing but as he sang in that evening he was all there in one moment of clarity. Percy had a hard time looking away.

 

Archie and Ruby sat close together. Emma was sitting on Neal’s lap, her arms wrapped loosely around his neck. They were all quiet, happy to be lost in the music. Then one by one, they quietly said goodnight and headed inside until just Percy and Jefferson were left by the fire. The songs faded to slow, plucking chords, dreamily floating in the night air. With the chill of it warded off by an old jacket and the waning fire, the sound of the fire and the guitar, the air clear and fresh in his lungs Percy felt like he might never want to go to sleep. He could just stay in this dreamworld, sustained by the crisp air and the warmth on his skin. 

 

Jefferson put the guitar aside and rose to come and sit next to him. Turning the other way, sitting so they could look out over the lake, Jefferson lit a cigarette. Holding the pack out for Percy, he declined. Still, the gesture was nice. Returning the pack to his pocket, Jefferson exhaled smoke and let it curl into the dark night. In comfortable silence, they watched the stars cast smiling reflections in the still surface of the lake.

 

 

o.O.o

 

On Sunday morning when they were heading home Jefferson was last out of bed. He got through tidying, locking up and turning off the heat while yawning. Percy got the feeling he was reluctant to leave, to go back home, back to reality. Everyone was already packed and about to get into the cars when Jefferson appeared on the deck. In the mild fall sunshine he was wearing his sunglasses and his bag was slung over his shoulder. His hair was messier than normal and his steps were dragging. After locking he came down the steps.

 

“Percy, mind driving back? I’m beat.”

 

“Of course not. I’ll drive.”

 

“Thanks.” Jefferson tossed him the keys and plucking them from the air he got into the car, on the driver’s side. He didn’t see the others gape from the other side of the drive, or hear Ruby complain Jeff had never let any of them drive his car. 

 

Percy focussed on getting into the right gear to reverse over the uneven drive. Next to him the other boy turned on one of the tapes and hunkered down in his seat. Within five minutes Percy could tell from his breathing he was asleep despite the music rolling out of the speakers. Turning it down, he glanced at Jefferson. He looked easier asleep, younger when he wasn’t keeping up his flippant attitude and charming smile. Percy didn’t think many people were allowed to see Jefferson like this and it kindled a little heat trapped behind his ribs. In this short time, in this space, Jefferson was all his. He tore his eyes from the other boy’s face and looked back to the road in front of him. Then the siren call of stealing a glance again picked up his the back of his mind. Like an echoed whisper it tugged at his senses and helplessly he looked again. Took in the relaxed shoulders, the slightly parted lips, the lock of hair moving with every slow breath. The flicker of eyelids behind his sunglasses, the stretch of jeans over warm thigh. His hand, curled loosely on his lap, turned up as if in invitation. 

 

Cut it out, he told himself, reining in his imagination and forcing his eyes back on the road. Jefferson had trusted him to drive his car, felt safe enough with him to fall asleep. He shouldn’t take advantage of that trust. Or crash his car. 

 

Focusing his attention on the driving instead, he enjoyed the feel of the car, its movements smooth and responses quick. With his fingers tapping out the beat of the song on the wheel he drove past trees and more trees. The car gave a sense of freedom he’d never really felt before. He could see why Jefferson loved it.

 

Smiling to himself he glanced in the rear-view mirror, saw Ruby’s car behind him. Feeling happy, he flashed the rear lights. Ruby’s car cheerily flashed back. Who would have thought a few months ago he’d soon be driving Jefferson Madden’s black BMW on his way back from a camping trip with his friends? He sure couldn’t have foreseen it. Things really were looking up.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thanks to everyone who's been leaving me kudos, I really appreciate you feeding the author :) We're moving slowly into the edges of shipville with this chapter so I hope you will enjoy! Heads up for some swearing and mentions of bullying and violence in this chapter.

Late in October Ruby was delighted to find out her Granny was going to be out of town for a conference for small business owners. In an attempt to prevent parties her grandmother hadn’t told her until the last minute. Ruby didn’t let that prevent her.

 

Word of mouth made sure everyone knew within two hours and older siblings were called upon to go on beer runs. A lot of the girls skipped their last class of the day to go home and get ready. Jeff wasn’t sure exactly what took so long to do in getting dressed and heading out the door but was wise enough not to ask. Instead he spent the late afternoon and early evening playing with By and getting fed by Mrs W. Percy was doing homework and would every once in a while surface to ask questions about parties that convinced Jeff he had never been to one before. Assuring Percy there was no table seating while wrestling with a giggling Byron, he reached for a cookie.

 

“It’ll be fine, Perce. Relax.”

 

“I am relaxed.”

 

“Is that why you’ve had a different shirt on the last three times you’ve been in here?”

 

“Shut up.” Percy left - to change his shirt, Jefferson was sure, and he smiled. That boy was funny.

 

“Shut up, shut up, shut up,” Byron crowed delightedly under him. “Pey bad. Bad word.”

 

“Yeah, he was bad, By.” Amused Jeff glanced to where Percy had stood. “He’s nervous so we have to cut him some slack.” He pushed himself up and By beelined for the toy cars. 

 

“Pey bad, Pey-Pey bad,” Byron sang atonally to himself while making two of the smaller metal cars crash into each other.

 

“He was. Hey, Batman is on, why don’t you see if the Joker can outsmart the Bat and I’ll go yell at Percy? For being bad.”

 

By made a derisive noise at the thought that the Joker might win and turned his attention to the TV.

 

Percy had given up on his studying was critically redoing his bowtie when Jeff entered. Looking at him in the mirror, the blond boy asked,

 

“Are you just wearing that?”

 

“Well, all my bowties are at the dry cleaner’s.”

 

“Ha ha. I meant you wore it all day. Shouldn’t you change for the party?”

 

“Nah.” He ambled in, leaned against the desk where all the books were lying open. “You’re making this a really big deal. It’ll just be like hanging with the others at the Diner as usual. Except slightly more people will be drunk.”

 

“I know. I know I am.” Percy’s shoulders sank a little. “But I’ve never been to a party. What if I don’t...What if I don’t fit in?”

“I’ll like you better. Seriously, Percy, it’ll be fine. We’ll go, we’ll talk to the others, listen to some music, have a drink and go back. You’re overthinking it.”

 

“I can’t help that.”

 

“Well,” Jeff pushed off the desk. “It’ll be too warm in there for a bowtie. So you can stop fiddling with that.” Crossing the room he pulled the piece of fabric from the blond boy’s hands. “Now you’re dressed. Time to go.”

 

“But I-”

 

“No buts, Cinderella, the ball will be over before we get there.” Pushing Percy ahead of him he grabbed his jacket in the hall and herded the other boy out. “If you’re planning on not drinking at this party, how about you be the designated driver?”

 

“What if I want to leave before you?”

“Then I guess I’ll have to sweet talk some nice girl into driving me home. Or to hers. Lady’s choice. Or we’ll leave. Now stop overcomplicating everything again and let’s go.”

 

Driving them to the Diner music was already pounding inside and a bunch of people stood outside smoking. The “closed” sign was turned but there was an almost constant stream of people going in and out. Jefferson felt his mood climb. He loved parties. The noise, the changeability of it, the possibilities. Handing his car keys to Percy, he almost pushed the other boy up the stairs.

 

Entering, heat met them like a wall. The smell of make-up, cigarette smoke and beer was heavy in the air. Pushing people aside and hearing bits of shouted conversation he located the group of friends by the counter just as the song changed to “Your Love” by The Outfield.

 

Greeting everyone, he volunteered to go get some drinks from the tubs filled with ice at the front. Percy asked for Coke, Ruby for a beer and an already tipsy Emma was requested jell-o shots. Returning with the drinks - sans shots - he found the blond boy talking to Belle. She had dressed up prettily for the night in a pale blue sleeveless dress and white cowboy boots. Her hair was swept up on one side to tumble down the other and she fiddled with an earring while she talked to Percy. He wondered if she liked him. She was unattached as far as he knew, since she’d broken it off with her footballer boyfriend Gaston, one of the goons who hung out with Sidney Glass. She and Percy had a lot in common. She would be good for Percy. Belle was sweet. And nice.

 

He took a small sip of his beer as he watched them talk. At first he’d thought they looked good together but now he wasn’t so sure. Something about the picture of Belle with Percy just didn’t strike him as right. He wasn’t sure they would be that great together after all. They were too...similar. They’d just agree on everything and have nothing to talk about after a month. For sure. As it now niggled at him to watch them, something about it out of place like a painting with a crack through it, he turned his attention to his other friends.

 

Leaning against the counter was Ruby, looking stunning in a black dress he was sure she kept hidden from her grandmother. It was conservatively cut around the neckline but it dipped dangerously low in the back, displaying pale skin and smooth curves. Her makeup was no nonsense siren with sooty lashes and red lips. Next to her Archie stood, looking anywhere but at Ruby and then helplessly having his gaze dragged to her anyway. Jeff sighed to himself. It was a little bit like the two of them spoke different languages and were shouting at each other in their native tongue, the other one just not able to pick up their meaning. Ruby had put on that dress for Archie, he had no doubt. In the hope he’d put his hands on it. Meanwhile Archie wanted nothing else but was looking everywhere but at Ruby, perceiving what she was after but not that she was after it from him.

 

When Ruby spotted him she smiled and winked. Toasting her he wondered why he suddenly felt alone. He was in a room full of people, ten or more in his close vicinity that he liked talking to and yet he didn’t feel like striking up conversation with a single one of them. Putting the beer he’d just gotten down, he frowned. Maybe he was getting sick. Parties were his element. He loved them and the bigger and more boisterous the better.

 

Hoisting himself up on the counter to sit he looked out over the crowd. It was an angle you didn’t often see people from. It looked like one of his underclassmen was getting a bald patch already.

 

Percy, easily spotted with his blond hair and pristine shirt, looked around. Turning as if looking for something he clocked Jefferson and smiled a little. Jeff smiled back. He liked that little, real smile on Percy. It was much better than his “polite-to-other-people smile”.

 

From the looks of it Percy excused himself from Belle and headed over.

 

“Enjoying your first party?”

 

“Huh?” Gesturing that the music was loud he leaned closer. Bending down to get closer to his ear he picked up the smell of Percy’s soap on his skin. Something clean and fit for purpose. No frills for Percy Whale. He liked that too. It suited him.

 

“I said, are you enjoying your first party?”

 

Percy raised himself a bit higher, Jefferson still leaning over to stay in hearing range. The other boy’s breath was warm against his neck as he pitched his voice over the music.

 

“Yes, so far it’s not bad.”

 

“Not bad,” Jefferson shook his head. “That’s just not good enough. Well, we’ll fix that. Come sit up here - we’ll hold court. It’s a party trick. Get the best seats in the house and let others come to you.”

 

Percy laughed but obliged and climbed up to sit on the counter as well. A moment later David and MM appeared, looking up at them. Slinging an arm over Percy’s shoulders he leaned in closer, speaking right into his ear.

 

“See, what did I tell you?”

 

The other boy smiled and they shared a look before turning their attention to their friends. Somehow that look made Jefferson feel like they shared some intimate secret and holding it warmed his chest. 

 

Two hours later he abandoned his perch on the counter to go the bathroom. Back with the group, now joined by Emma and Neal, he greeted them with a smile. Emma smiled back and Neal toasted him with his beer. Realising Percy had left the group, he glanced around. He didn’t spot the familiar straight posture or the blond hair. 

 

“Hey, do you know where Percy went?”

 

Ruby looked around expectantly.

 

“He was just here. I saw him a minute ago.”

 

“I think I saw him over there,” Emma pointed. Heading that way he spotted Belle through the crowd. Of course. That’s where Percy would head. Did he have to be so obvious about liking her? He’d never get anywhere. Jefferson didn’t know why that annoyed him slightly. Steering for his friend, he called her name.

 

“Belle.” He caught her attention. “Have you seen Percy?”

 

“I think he was just going to get some air. He took the side door.”

 

“Ah, thanks.” For some reason he was relieved he hadn’t opted to stay with the pretty brunette. “I think I’ll join him. Pretty warm in here.”

 

Finding the side door he opened it and stepped out into the freezing cold. After the heat of too many bodies crammed into too small a space inside the Diner it felt nice. Looking for Percy he looked up the alley and his body froze. The blond boy was on the ground, rolled up into a ball and around him Sidney Glass and two of his friends were landing blows all over him. In the quiet night he could hear the sickening thuds of kicks to something soft, like of punching a bag of flour. Straining from the effort Glass interspersed his kicks with grunting words,

 

“We’ve told you before you’re not allowed in the Diner where we have to look at you, faggot. You’ve gotten airs lately. It was time to put you back where you belong, you haven’t forgotten, have you, you fag?”

 

Though only a moment had passed Jefferson felt like it had been an age. Swinging over the railing he ran the instant he landed. It felt like his legs were leaden, that the seconds he spent running over took hours. Hours of hearing the dull sound of each kick landing and the smallest of whimpers of pain from Percy.

 

“Stay...away...you dirty… disgusting… queer!” The words were strained from the effort it took him to cause another person pain and Jefferson felt as if his blood had heated to the point where he was about to combust. His vision was flickering, a rage so strong he thought he’d choke roaring in his breast.

 

Finally he reached them and with a force that surprised him he pulled Glass off by the neck of his jacket, the bigger boy stumbling backwards and falling.

 

“Get away from him!” Ramming into the next one, he still had surprise on his side as the second football player fell over. Regaining his balance he spun in place and slammed his fist into the last one’s face. His head snapped back with a satisfying crack and he fell like a tree.

 

Glass, having got up with surprising agility, came rushing towards him. Dodging the bigger boy easily, Jefferson used the bigger boy’s momentum to kick him into the dirt. The second footballer was just up again and he came running. Wisened by seeing his friend fall under his own speed he stopped short and swung wildly. Jeff jumped back and danced away. Glass had now gotten up and with white hot fury burning in his eyes he approached from the other side. 

 

Trying to keep both of them in his field of sight, Jefferson lost his balance for a moment. From his left the big footballer swept in and caught him in a lock. Arms twisted behind his back he struggled as Glass swaggered up. With a measured cruelty he drove his fist into Jeff’s stomach and he felt all the air leave his lungs. Pain burst like fireworks everywhere from his midriff to his head. Gasping for air he tried to get his chest to expand again. Before he could another blow landed and tears leaked from the corners of his eyes. He’d once seen a coke can put under a hydraulic press once and that was how he felt.

“What’s this Madden? You got yourself a pet?” Glass tightened his fist and pulled it back and Jeff tried to clench his pounding abs to protect himself. 

 

“Glass!” A shout from behind made the large footballer look up and desperately Jeff stepped on the foot of the footballer behind him. He lost his balance and shoving him off from restraining him, he launched himself on Sidney Glass. Crashing to the ground he rolled on top, locking his arms with his legs and punched him in the face. Again and again he drove his fist into that ugly leer. The mouth that had sneered at Percy, called him names. Attacked him, three against one and beaten him so Jeff could hear the damage being done. The sound of his fist connecting with Glass’ jaw was like hitting wet mud before strong arms lifted him clear off the other boy. As if speaking from far away he heard someone calling his name.

 

“Let go! Let me go! I’m not done!” Straining against the hold he almost slipped free when another person joined in holding him back.

 

“Enough, Jeff. He’s had enough.” It was Neal’s voice he heard now. As reality slowly filtered back in his mind he realized David, Neal and Emma were holding him back. Archie was bent over Sidney Glass whose face looked bloody and battered. 

 

“Jefferson, stop it.” Hearing Percy’s voice, wheezing and weak, he slackened, shrugged his friends off. The anger coiled in on itself, folding under a wave of concern.

 

“Percy!” Whirling around he spotted the blond boy on the ground behind him, sitting between Belle and Ruby. Grimacing, he crouched down. “Are you okay?” He looked up to Ruby. “Has anyone called an ambulance?”

 

“He doesn’t want one,” Ruby replied.

 

“What?” He looked back to Percy who shook his head.

 

“I don’t need one.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous. I saw what they did to you.”

 

“I’ll be fine. I just need to go home.”

 

“You need to see a doctor, Percy. You could have internal injuries, or...I don’t even know but it could be really bad!”

 

Fear flared again in Percy’s eyes and Jefferson clenched his jaw. A doctor would tell his parents, and would cost money. Leaning so close, Ruby couldn’t hear, he whispered,

 

“I’d pay, Percy. I’d drive you to a hospital out of town. No one would know.”

 

Stubbornly, the blond boy shook his head. “No, I don’t need a doctor. I just want to go home.”

 

Pushing down the urge that screamed inside him to drive Percy to the nearest doctor he swallowed. If Percy didn’t want to, he couldn’t make him. 

 

“Fine. Fine. I’ll take you home.” He leaned back, still on his knees next to Percy. 

 

“Jeff, can you drive?” Ruby asked.

 

“I’ve had barely one beer. I can drive.”

 

“I mean your hands, Jeff.”

 

He looked down to see his knuckles were covered in scrapes and bruises. 

 

“I’m fine.” Gently he moved her hand from Percy’s shoulder. “Can you walk?”

 

Percy nodded and Jeff moved so he had Percy’s arm around his shoulders. Jerking his head to Ruby, to signal he was okay, she reluctantly moved away.

 

“Ready?” Again the blond boy nodded his assent and taking on most of his weight, Jefferson rose. Percy let out a short whimper, a small, suppressed keen as every abused muscle in his body probably protested. Fresh fury washed over him and he had to bite his lip to not just turn on his heel, head back and kick Sidney Glass in the ribs.

 

Starting to hobble down the street Neal called after them,

 

“Jeff, what do you want us to do with him?” He gestured to the prone form of the footballer.

 

“Leave him. Tie him to a tree. Fuck if I care.”

 

With that he let Percy lean most of his weight on him as he took him to the car. Lowering him into the seat he felt the other boy’s muscles tense to breaking as he once more shifted positions. Jeff clenched his teeth, helping Percy get in before slamming the door shut harder than was necessary.

 

Getting in after him he pulled out of the lot and sped down the road. He had to consciously relax his tight grip on the steering wheel and ease his foot off the accelerator.

 

“Are you angry with me?”

 

“Angry with you? Why would I be angry with you?”

 

“I don’t know. But you’re not looking at me and you drove past the turn to my house two minutes ago.”

 

“Fuck.” He turned the car. “I need to stop.”

 

“Okay.”

 

He pulled into the school grounds, the only convenient place to stop anywhere close by.

 

Stopping he took his hands off the wheel and noticed they were shaking badly. Clenching and opening them again he realized it hurt. His knuckles were swelling, the bruises already darkening. Tiredness fell over him like a wave, his limbs heavy with it.

 

“Christ.” He rubbed his hands over his face. 

 

“Do you feel okay?”

 

“How would you feel seeing one of your friends getting beaten into a bloody pulp?”

 

“Probably better than the pulp.”

 

“Don’t joke now. I was...I’ve never been so scared, Percy. I thought you might be really hurt.”

 

Percy reached out, placing a hand on his arm. Leaned closer, to the edge of his view. “It’s okay. I’m okay.” His voice was calm, soothing. 

 

Jeff shifted his arm off his shoulder, turned in his seat. “You’re not fucking okay! Have you looked in the mirror?”

“I’d really rather not.”

 

Jefferson threw his hands up, got out of the car, his blood simmering. How could Percy joke about this? He had a split lip, a bruise on his cheekbone, a bloodied nose, scrapes from the gravel on his forehead. His clothes were dirty and torn in places. He had no idea what the rest of him had to look like under the tattered shirt and pants that had lost their tidy pleats. Something in him roared every time he caught sight of the bruising that was already shifting from angry red into purple on his friend’s face.

 

He slammed the door shut. Opened it again and slammed it, over and over, the frustration taking form. He wanted to scream and rage at the futility of it, how clueless he’d been in leaving Percy alone. Jeff slammed the door a final time before whirling around and walking off a few steps.

 

Three against one for no better reason than that he’d been there. It was insane. Just plain lunacy. He couldn’t understand even the vaguest reason Sidney Glass might have had to attack Percy. It was as if he’d woken up one day and decided the air he breathed was tainted somehow and he had to be stopped. With the zeal of a medieval witch hunter he stalked the other boy, determined to destroy. And why? Percy liked bowties and was good in school. That was reason enough to hate someone with such passion. At least for Sidney Glass.

 

The pure pointlessness of it, the gall of arbitrarily deciding he was better, it all grated at him. He usually thought he was a fair empath, could put himself in most people’s shoes. See two sides. But not with this, with him. There was no reason good enough, no point he could make that would excuse it.

 

He heard the car door open and a grunt from Percy when he heaved himself up by holding onto the roof.

 

“Get back in the car, Percy.” He spoke without turning around. 

 

“No. I’m already up now so I might as well stand up for a bit.” Using the hood of the car for support he shuffled around to the front. He could hear the pain it caused him to move in the way the gravel crunched under his feet. Dragging feet, stopping often.

 

With shaking hands Jeff pulled a cigarette from his pocket and lit it. Hoping it would calm him down he took deep drags. The nicotine didn’t even put a dent in his ire. Still with his back to the other boy he stood staring out in the dark.

 

“I’ve never had anyone come to help me before. Well, teachers, but they don’t really count. They’re paid to.”

 

Jeff turned to see Percy leaning against the hood of the car, looking up at the large oak tree just off the lot.

 

“Though it was pretty stupid. There were three of them and just one of you. You should have gone inside and gotten your friends.”

 

“I wasn’t exactly thinking.”

 

“It’s not your strong suit.”

 

Jefferson dropped his head, exhaled. Tried to not let the anger change targets from deserving to available.

 

“How can you joke about it, Percy?”

 

He was still looking up at the tree but in the half dusk he thought he saw a small smile.

 

“It’s how I have to deal with it. Being funny about it puts up a… wall. A wall between me and what happened. It’s like it didn’t happen to me anymore but to the butt of the joke.” He shrugged, his hands in his pockets. “It’s a classic defense mechanism. Or so I’m told.”

 

Sighing, Jefferson came closer.

 

“I’m not angry with you, Percy. I just don’t want you to need a defense mechanism.”

 

“I suppose tonight you were the defense mechanism.”

 

A weak chuckle escaped Jeff.

 

“Fine, you win. Joke about it.”

 

For a while all that was heard was the distant sound of passing cars and the wind through the leaves of the oak tree. Jefferson realized his feet were freezing in his shoes. Behind him Percy was shivering in the cold air. Without a word Jeff got the letterman jacket out of the car and put it around Percy before returning to his cigarette. There was frost in the air and the gravel crunched under his soles when he moved. It would snow soon. Not a freak fall occurrence but actual winter snow that stayed on the ground until spring returned. He’d have to put winter tires on the car. He should have already but like most things that didn’t interest him it had slipped his mind. Maybe he’d ask Percy to remind him. He’d nag him until he did it just to shut him up. That was a good solution.

 

“It’s true, you know.”

 

“Hmm?” Distracted by his thoughts he returned to the cold parking lot, to hearing Percy behind him where he sat on the hood of the car. He looked small, and cold in Jefferson’s jacket.

 

“What they said about me. It’s true. I…” Percy’s voice was quiet, hesitant. It pulled at everything inside Jefferson to hear it. It was the wrong voice for him. It wasn’t the smart-ass, teasing tone he usually spoke to him in, or the serious and prim one he used for teaching. This was someone else, a Percy he didn’t know used this tone and he didn’t care for it. “I am what they said I am. I’m like...that.”

 

Jefferson turned fully to see that Percy was looking away, his eyes fastened on the ground somewhere to the right, his arms wrapped around his knees, hunched inside the letterman jacket. Throwing the cigarette away he crossed the distance between them in two steps. Leaning forward to put a hand on Percy’s shoulder he shook it gently.

 

“You’re not what they say you are, Percy. Look at me.” Slowly the blond boy turned his eyes to him, wide and dark and with a sorrow in them that looked older than the years he had lived. “If you like guys, that doesn’t make you what they said you are. When they say it, it’s...It’s something dirty or deviant. Something that’s wrong. But there is nothing wrong with you.” He tightened his grip on Percy’s shoulder, praying the words were the right ones, something so brittle and trembling in the air around them he couldn’t make a wrong move, risking breaking that shaking, glass woven trust. “Nothing, Percy. You hear me?”

 

He put his other hand to Percy’s right shoulder.

 

“It changes nothing of what I think of you. You’re my friend. Okay?”

 

Percy nodded, looked away. Drew a deep breath. Surreptitiously he brushed his hands over his eyes, hiding any evidence of tears. With shaking hands. Jefferson straightened. He didn’t know if they had been the right words, but it had been the only ones he’d found. Pushing a hand through his hair he said,

 

“Let’s get you back.”

 

He helped Percy get back on his feet, wincing himself when he strained his abdominal muscles. With all the adrenaline subsiding he now realized his whole midsection was throbbing. Like a bitch. Clenching his teeth he managed to help the other boy back into the car. The trip to Percy’s house was quiet so he flicked the radio on. The Boss’ gravelly voice filled the car to the bittersweet tones of Tougher Than the Rest and he shared a smile with Percy. Fate had been on their side, choosing this moment for the song to come up in the mix on the radio. 

 

Wordlessly they drove through the town. Everything was still and quiet, all residents in bed for hours already. The wind was kicking up and a plastic bag danced joyfully down the pavement. The Town Beautifying Committee would have had a fit if they saw it. Jefferson found it beautiful though as it swirled down the street, as unconcerned as a little girl would be dancing on the sidewalk. Daringly it shot up, spinning in a spiral downwards before it got caught in a branch. Hanging like a flag from the tree Jefferson knew it wouldn’t be long before some enterprising citizen got on his ladder and took it down, self righteously nodding to himself as he put it the bin, feeling he’d done his part for the day. Still, for tonight the plain, white plastic bag was free to dance. It was something.

 

Pulling up in front of Percy’s house he switched the headlights off and turned off the radio. How they got inside and into the room at the end of the hall without waking anyone up he didn’t know. But the house was still dark and silent when Percy lowered himself to sit on the bed, breathing hard.

 

On Percy’s instruction he fetched ice and the first aid kit, pushing the door closed behind him with his heel. Flicking the desk light on he directed it to let him see what he was doing. Once more he was reminded of a spotlight on a stage when it painted Percy in a bright, white light.

 

“A little lower. I feel like I’m about to be interrogated by the Russians.”

 

Lowering the light he chuckled.

 

“You look like you already were.”

 

“I bet. Maybe Glass has some Russian ancestors.”

 

“I don’t think so. I believe his grandfather was Neanderthal.”

 

Percy snorted.

 

“Evolutionary jokes. You’re coming along really well.”

 

“Yeah? Will I ever be as nerdy as you, Master?”

 

“If I could, I’d get up and smack you.”

 

Pleased to see the blond boy smiling, Jeff changed the subject.

 

“What do you need me to do?” He nodded to the first aid kit.

 

“Pass me the Advil, first of all.”

 

“Advil? Percy, I think you need more than Advil tonight. Why don’t you take one of Byron’s more serious painkillers?”

 

The other boy shook his head.

 

“No, they’re Byron’s. He needs them.”

 

“Right this second? Because you do. The prescription was just refilled. I know, I drove your mom to the pharmacy to pick it up.”

 

“Jefferson, they’re expensive. And when Byron needs them, he should have them. I’ll be fine.”

 

“Fine. Fine. But I’m getting them and I’m putting them in here in case it gets too much to handle.” He went to find them and in Byron’s medicine cupboard picked up two different bottles of strong painkillers before returning. With a pointed look at Percy he put them on the nightstand.

 

“Okay, now what?”

 

“Ice, first. It reduces the swelling.”

 

Nodding Jefferson picked the slowly melting plastic bag up.

 

“Sitting up or lying down?”

 

“Sitting up. Once I lie down I’m not getting up again.”

 

With a little bit of shuffling Jefferson pulled up the desk chair and managed to get Percy to sit on it sideways so the back of it didn’t get in the way.

 

“Okay, shirt. Ready?”

 

“As ready as I’ll be.” With a deep breath Percy straightened and pulled his shirt over his head. Pulling it free from his arms Jefferson felt his heart shiver a little in pity. Percy’s back was covered in bruises, blooming like exotic flowers in reds, purples and blues. From midnight sky to rosy pink it stretched and rippled over his skin. Raw and tender it seemed to emanate heat, all the blood underneath drawn to the surface.

 

“Christ, Percy.” Jeff’s voice escaped him shakily.

 

“That good, huh?”

 

Trying for the jesting tone he was using Jefferson swallowed the lump in his throat. Cleared it.

 

“You look like you’ve been run over by three bulldozers.”

 

“I was.”

 

Percy couldn’t see him smile, or know it didn’t reach his eyes. Focusing on his task Jefferson bent over Percy, gently pressing the ice against the worst of the bruises. Except for inhaling sharply every time he moved it, Percy didn’t make a sound.

 

When the ice had melted he set it aside, following the blond boy’s instructions and getting the anti-inflammatory cream and elastic bandage.

 

“You’re sure you want me to put a bandage on this?”

“It won’t be comfortable but it’ll stop the bruises from spreading even more. If they do it’ll take even longer to heal.”

 

“You’re the doctor. Or will be.” He squeezed out some of the cream. “I’ll be careful but this’ll probably hurt.”

 

“It probably will. Just get on with it.”

 

In an attempt to distract him, Jefferson continued talking.

 

“Are you looking forward to people having to call you Dr. Whale?” He put his fingers to a large bruise just below Percy’s shoulder. The skin was hot to the touch, he could almost feel the pulse beating through it. As softly as he could he ran his fingers over it, hoping the cream would sink in on its own. It smelled of chemically of pharmacies.

 

“I’m not going to lie. I am. Hearing them calling Dr Whale to surgery or see it on the door to my office or at the end of a paper. Every time I see it, hear it, I’ll know I did it. It’s all I’ve wanted for as long as I remember.”

 

“At least you’re getting plenty of practice on yourself.”

 

Percy chuckled but it was cut short by a gasp of pain. After a few calming breaths he spoke again.

 

“That’s true. Maybe I should send Sidney Glass a thank you note.”

 

“Or a letterbomb. There, you’re all covered. And you smell like a pharmacy threw up.”

 

“You’re so sweet.” Percy straightened up, a grimace flying across his features. “It’s just the bandage left. Wrap it firmly. Not too tight but not loose enough to move. Start straight under the shoulder, under my arm.”

 

Moving around Jefferson kneeled in front of Percy. Seeing he wouldn’t reach, he moved closer, now between Percy’s knees. Looking up to share a smile at the ludicrous position he was in he saw the other boy’s eyes were serious and focused on him. Focused so hard his gaze almost burned. Telling himself not to be ridiculous, it wasn’t as if Percy wanted him in this situation, he focused back on his task. He was imagining things, this was just the best way to tend to Percy’s injuries. Jeff put the end of the bandage where he had been instructed.

 

“Hold it in place there, pull it across to the other shoulder, around the back and then over where you started.” Percy spoke really close to his ear, the breaths playing over his neck. His voice sounded a little heavier than normal, as if he was forcing it out. He’s in mind numbing pain, Jeff reminded himself. It wasn’t strange he had to fight to keep his voice steady.

 

Fiddling, Jefferson moved closer, trying to get the bandage to stay in place while he pulled at it. To reach he wrapped his arm around Percy’s left shoulder in a one armed embrace. To make it easier for him Percy bent his head over Jefferson’s shoulder and for a moment the scent of soap was there again, under the strong medicinal smell of the cream. It felt intimate and Jefferson realized it was the first time he’d hugged - well, almost hugged - Percy. He was an expressive person, he didn’t really think twice about touching his friends. But he’d never been this close to the blond boy. He didn’t know why. Frowning slightly he tried to pinpoint it, why touch didn’t come as easy around Percy as his other friends. It was as if, even though they were friends, Percy still had a wall around him. He’d noticed that before. A do-not-enter sign on his soul. Subconsciously he must’ve read it and responded, restricting touching the blond boy. Jefferson wondered if this was his wish, that he preferred less contact, or if experience had taught him it was the safest. The way smaller, threatened animals in the wild would develop a natural defense like a hard shell or spiky hides.

 

Managing to get the other end of the bandage to cross over he repeated the maneuver under Percy’s instruction before beginning to wrap his chest. Smoothing it across the skin to lie flat he reached the end of it just under his ribs and clipping it in place he surveyed his work. It looked a little wonky but there were no kinks, creases or gaps. That had to be something. Running his hands from the shoulder strap down over his chest to make sure there were no hidden folds that would irritate he felt Percy’s muscles tense under his touch and quickly withdrew them, knowing he must’ve touched somewhere really sore.

 

Helping Percy to sit back on the bed, he then straightened and stretched. Having stood awkwardly for so long he had a crick in his back. Reaching higher he felt it give and sighed in relief. His shirt had ridden up and noticing Percy staring at what was probably some fairly impressive bruises of his own he pulled it down again. The blond boy looked away, awkward. Jefferson wondered if he for some bizarre reason thought they were his fault. 

 

“Your turn.” 

 

“I’m okay. I’ll just stay clear of any really tight t-shirts and sleeping on my stomach.”

 

“Have you seen your hands?”

 

Looking down Jefferson remembered his knuckles were bruised and the skin broken in more than one place. A deep gash on the side of his right hand between his thumb and index finger seemed to be the worst.

 

“I must’ve caught his teeth.”

 

“At least let me put some antiseptic on that. You don’t know where his mouth has been.”

 

Jefferson shuddered at the thought.

 

“You’re right. Okay, doc, patch me up.” He sat down on the chair Percy had just been in. With a grimace of pain Percy put his foot on the spindle between the legs of the chair. Taking Jeff’s hand he put it on his raised knee.

 

“Hold still, this’ll sting a little.”

 

“I’m not a baby, Percy, it’s fi-Ow, goddamn it!” He pulled his hand away. Stinging was an understatement. It burnt, like pouring salt on it would have. “What the hell is that?”

 

“It’s just antiseptic. You baby.”

 

“I don’t like you. I want another doctor.”

 

“I’m afraid we’re a little short staffed at the moment. If you would like to wait until morning I can maybe arrange it.”

 

“Fine. You can stay. But only because there’s no one else.”

 

“Noted.” The burning had subsided a little and with a laugh in his throat Jefferson returned his hand to Percy’s knee. Gentler than before the other boy put some more cream on and smoothed it out over the unmarred skin. His fingers were soft and reassuring. Pressing and prodding they worked their way from the tips of his fingers, skimming over his knuckles and over the back of his hand.

 

“I don’t think anything is broken. It’ll just be sore for a few days.” In a much more efficient manner than Jeff he wrapped a soft bandage around his hand. “Okay, next one.”

 

His left hand was in much better shape and turning it over Percy repeated the move, feeling along his fingers and hand for hidden fractures. It felt nice, his soft but firm touch over his skin. He had nice hands, Jeff noticed. Strong, elegant. Not soft like a girl’s skin was soft but still smooth and warm over his. Reaching Jefferson’s wrist, the pads of his fingers just over the pulse point Percy declared it didn’t need to be bandaged.

 

“Does this mean I don’t have to take notes, teach?” Jeff wriggled his bandaged hand.

 

“Since when do you take notes? You can still go to class and to our sessions and listen.”

 

“What if I get a doctor’s note?”

 

“As your doctor I won’t give one to your tutor.”

 

“You’re such a hardass.”

 

“Count on it,” Percy grinned. Looking down to see Jeff’s hand he sobered again.

 

“Jefferson, I want you to know I…” He looked away, his gaze searching for something in the darkened room. Looking back up his eyes seemed almost black in the half dusk of the room. “Thank you. For everything.”

 

“Anytime. I mean, I don’t hope it’ll be soon but...Anytime, Percy. That’s what friends are for.”

 

Realizing his hand was still resting on Percy’s knee he gave it a pat before getting up.

 

“I better get going.”

 

“You could stay on the cot if you want?”

 

“Not tonight. I wouldn’t be good company. I’ll see you later, Percy.”

 

Leaving the room and its half light, Percy sitting on the bed, still looking almost painted in black and white, he sneaked out of the house. Once outside he exhaled in a long, deep breath, leaning against the front door. Then he straightened up and headed for his car.

 

His body seemed to know where he was going before he did but once he realized where he was going he sped up.

 

o.O.o

 

He supposed it meant Neal really knew him well when he spotted the light on in the tree house. In the back of the overgrown garden of the Gold house there was a tree house built into a large maple tree. It had been the envy of all the kids in the neighbourhood when they were growing up. Especially since it had a padlock on the door and the key hung on a tong around Neal’s wrist. Mickey Freeman had fallen out of the tree and broken his arm in the second grade trying to get into it.

 

Jefferson, who had always been allowed in and always had the secret knock knew that all the tree house hid was a mattress, a secret stash of comic books and at times some candy bars. But the mystery of it had been what made it all worth it. They’d spent hours in that small space, talking and reading the dog eared comics.

 

To Neal he supposed it had always been his sanctuary. He had a complicated relationship with his father and the small space had offered a place his father couldn’t reach. It was all Neal’s.

 

This evening the rope ladder was already lowered when Jefferson arrived. Climbing up he found his friend sitting on the mattress (which had been replaced a few times since their childhood) on top of the sleeping bag. A small space heater whirred and made the place fairly toasty. The room was illuminated by a kerosene lamp standing on the small stool that was used as a table. Instead of candy bars stashed away there was now a half empty bottle of bourbon and two packets of cigarettes.

 

Like the stash had changed since they were little, so had his friend. He’d used to be really small and skinny, with a mop of bark brown hair that was always tangled. He was still shorter than Jefferson, but he’d widened and had broad shoulders and strong arms. His hair had darkened but was still messy most of the time. Wearing jeans and a hoodie he was leaned back, watching the smoke of his cigarette rise towards the ceiling.

 

“Hey.” He straightened slightly when Jeff entered.

 

“Hey.” Slightly at a loss now that he was here he didn’t have to wait long before his friend had assessed the situation. Just from a look at his face.

 

Leaning over he grabbed the bourbon bottle and held it out. With a nod Jeff accepted it, took a pull and slumped down, his back against the opposite wall to Neal. After another sip he passed the bottle back to Neal who companionably had a drink too. Tossing him the cigarette pack Jefferson nodded his thanks and lit one. In silence they sat and smoked for a while, the fog of it enveloping them.

 

“So, what’s up? What happened tonight?”

 

“I don’t know.” Jefferson took the bottle back, drank. The liquid burned in his throat in a way that felt incredibly satisfying at the minute. “I just...I saw Percy there on the ground and I...I’ve never been so furious. So scared. That was...fucking assault.” Restless he stretched his legs out in front of him, pulled them back. Ran a hand through his hair. “I could hear their shoes hitting bone, Neal.”

 

His hands shook again as he took a drag from his cigarette.

 

“He was lying on the ground, rolled up as those three goons beat him, kicked him, called him...names.”

 

Quickly he dragged his arm over his eyes as they felt hot.

 

“Something snapped. I don’t know what. I just...I couldn’t watch, couldn’t wait, couldn’t think. I just ran in.”

 

“I get it. Those fuckers have no right to pick on Percy.”

 

“Pick on? This wasn’t any “boys will be boys” shit. They meant it, Neal. They meant to hurt him and they did. He looks like he was hit by a truck.”

 

“What do they have against him, anyway?”

 

“Hell if I know. He’s smart, he doesn’t dress the same as everyone else.” He looked away. Percy had told him in confidence so he wouldn’t share his secret, but he could tell Neal why they had singled the blond boy out. “Because they think he’s gay.”

 

“Well, shit.” Temper woke in Neal’s brown eyes. Jefferson knew his friend was a laid back kind of person, slow to anger and happy to take the road of least resistance when it suited him. But when he got angry, he had a fierce temper. He’d always had a problem with the strong taking advantage of the weak. He’d defended kids smaller than him against older bullies since they’d been playing in the sandbox.

 

“I’ll speak to David about it. He can get him suspended from the football team.”

 

“Good.” Because Neal was his oldest friend, because they had shared more secrets within the walls of the tree house than he could count, he continued. “I’m worried about Percy. I didn’t notice until the start of term but those guys are after him hard. And I think it’s getting worse. We became friends because I had to pull him out of a dumpster they’d locked him in.”

 

“Christ.” Neal’s eyes narrowed behind the smoke. “Well, it ends now. It’s not just you, Jefferson. He has all of us now.”

 

Relaxing slightly Jefferson lit a cigarette from the end of his old one. Pulling his knee up he rested his arm over it, the cigarette dangling from his hand.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Thank you? What are we, strangers? I’ve known you since you rode around in that sweet ass stroller.”

 

“How do you remember what stroller I had?”

 

“I don’t, but your family’s loaded so I assume it was sweet. Probably had one of those steering wheels at the front so you could pretend you were driving.”

 

Jefferson laughed, swigged from the bottle and handed it to Neal.

 

“It didn’t.” He winked. “It was more like a spaceship control panel.”

 

“Shit. Some people just walk in the light.”

 

Sniggering Jefferson slid further down the wall, having to bend his leg to still fit.

 

“What happened to Glass, anyway?”

 

Neal watched the smoke from his cigarette climb to the ceiling in lazy swirls.

 

“Well, you said tie him to a tree. So we did.”

 

Gratefully Jefferson smiled.

 

“I love you, man.”

 

“Anytime, Jeff.”

 

o.O.o

 

Percy grimaced as he shifted slightly. His whole back was a pounding ache, like a bad tooth. A really bad one, as in rotted to the base of your jawbone bad. Lying on his stomach he tried to think of anything to distract him. But every thought that came to him fluttered through his mind like fabric in the wind, easily chased away by the pain sawing its grisly teeth into him. Drowning him in thick, tar like mud.

 

“Damn it,” he told no one but it was really because Jefferson had been right. He needed something stronger than Advil. Pushing himself up he allowed himself a whimper as the room spun around him. There was no one to hear it after all. Dry swallowing the pills he was almost grateful for the bitter taste on his tongue. It was another sensation to try and focus on.

 

Sinking back on the bed he grit his teeth and waited for the chemicals in his blood to work. Slowly the room began to rock slightly around him, the pounding beginning to subside into the occasional sharp twinge. His head felt woolly and he smiled slightly to himself. Your head couldn’t feel woolly. You could have a woolly head, though. He didn’t. Jefferson almost did. He had a lot of hair. Slightly wavy, soft, brown hair. It was always so perfect. His expensive hairdresser was probably to thank for it. It fell in such a nice way. And it smelled nice. He’d smelled it when Jefferson was bandaging him. He’d been so close and his head had been right there. He hadn’t been able to not smell it. It looked nice from above too. He could still see Jefferson kneeling in front of him, his head bent as he focused on getting the bandage to go on straight.

 

He had been so close. When he reached around him to get the bandage around all the way it had been almost an embrace. Percy could have turned his head only a touch and his lips would have been pressed against the point where Jefferson’s shoulder met his neck. Looking up to try and see anything else but Jefferson’s hair where it brushed over his collar, the way he bit his lip while he concentrated and how his hands looked touching him he’d attempted to recite as many decimals of pi as he could think of. He knew it to the 37th decimal but he’d kept getting stumped after four, distracted by the other boy in front of him.

 

Jefferson was his friend, and though he was attractive, Percy had always managed to keep a distance between them, a sort of wall in his consciousness when it came to him. But when he kneeled between his legs, inches away, his hands on his skin and his scent invading his senses the wall came under assault. The way his skin felt on his, the way his breaths played over him, how the warmth of his skin brushed his - all of it but the wall under breach.

 

Finishing, Jefferson had run his hands over the bandages to smooth them, from his shoulder, down over his chest, his fingers splayed over his skin. The wall shook and he tensed, feeling arousal wake in his blood, helpless to stop it. Jefferson pulled his hands away like he’d been burned before getting up. Miserable at the thought that he might know what was going through his mind, Percy was almost grateful to the pain for pulling his focus from the other boy when he rose. Sitting down with a groan he’d only had a moment’s respite when Jefferson stretched, his t-shirt riding higher. A flat plane of stomach muscles clenched, framed by the hem of the shirt and the waist of his jeans. Looking away Percy swallowed heavily. He wondered what it would feel like to feel those muscles clench under his hands. If they would tremble if he...

 

His voice was a little sharper than intended when he told him it was Jefferson’s turn. Joking that his stomach was fine Percy’s thoughts were once more invaded by images of his hands running over soft skin taut covering hard muscle.

 

“Have you seen your hands?”

 

The hands he’d used to beat up Sidney Glass so hard they were bleeding. He could still see it in his mind’s eye. He couldn’t have even imagined anyone as laid back and friendly as Jefferson could be capable of such intense rage. It was as if the rest of the world hadn’t existed as he drove his fists into the footballer’s face. His friends had had to physically pry him off. No one since Byron was little had ever stood up for him like that. It was strange to have that in his life again.

 

Acquiescing to him Jefferson sat on the chair across. Before thinking about it he’d lifted his hand and put it to his knee to have both his free when he looked it over. The foresight of this was poor, he realized when the warmth of it seeped through the fabric of his pants. Focusing on cleaning the cuts and wrapping the hand up, he managed to keep his thoughts in line. Switching hands he was almost disappointed to note it was in much better shape. That would make it harder. Running his hands over the fingers, over the knuckles and the back of his hand he got a little lost in the labyrinth in his mind. Everywhere he turned was thoughts of Jefferson.

 

The other boy let out a little hum of pleasure, Percy didn’t even think he knew he had and startled he stopped. He realized he had reached his wrist and was now brushing his fingers over the pulse point he quickly withdrew his hands. With a voice that grated out of him he declared it was fine.

 

Shifting on the bed again Percy noted he could barely feel his back at all. In fact he couldn’t feel his face. Was that normal? His eyelids were drooping and he had a heavy feeling in the back of his throat. Was this how being high felt? If so, he didn’t half-mind it.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning when Percy woke he was immensely glad it was Saturday. He had to take another dose of By’s painkillers just to get out of bed. Hobbling to the bathroom he sighed in pleasure as the hot water in the shower washed over his battered body he just stood for several minutes. At their full effect the painkillers made him woozy but just before his mind was still clear. Staring at the bandages lying discarded on the bathroom floor the night before filtered into his memory. Jefferson had put those on.

 

Straightening up in the shower a spark of pain shot down his back at the sudden movement. He’d told Jefferson. His biggest secret. Something he’d never told anyone. Something he was still unsure about admitting to himself.

 

Not because he was in any way unsure, he knew he liked other guys, had for a long time, but because of the enormity admitting it was. It would change everything. His whole life, his future, his dreams. He had no idea how his family would react if he told them. And yet, he’d told Jefferson. Straining to remember how the other boy had taken it, he could only remember his hand on his shoulders and his eyes boring into his. But he’d looked...earnest. He hadn’t turned away or looked at him different than before.

 

Words filtered back, Jefferson’s voice slightly rough from the yelling he’d done earlier.

 

“It changes nothing of what I think of you. You’re my friend.”

 

Percy could only hope he meant it.

 

o.O.o

 

He was rather sure he was being watched over like a baby. It had been four days since the night of the Diner party but one of the group of friends never seemed to be far away. There had been no tutoring session today but Ruby had driven him to the Diner, then casually mentioned Archie was stuck on something in his homework and could Percy help. The red haired boy had looked confused for a moment before he managed to think of something to ask. It had been an obvious tactic but it had lead to an interesting discussion about gene modification.

 

Then Belle had passed by and asked if Percy wanted to join her at the table with the others. So he had and a few minutes later Neal had asked if he could give him a ride back when it was time to go.

 

“Oh, Jefferson isn’t coming today?” He hoped it sounded as casual as he’d tried to make it.

 

“No, he’s having one if his Black Days.” Neal reached for his Coke. He was sitting in his favored corner spot, one arm around Emma.

 

“Black Days?”

 

“Yeah, he just takes a day off from everything. You don’t really want to speak to him on a Black Day.”

 

“That’s true. I’ve tried but we’ve learnt from experience that you - and Jeff - are better off if you stay away,” Ruby said as she put down their orders, clearly having overheard the rest of the conversation.

 

“But what is it?”

 

Neal reached over Emma to nab a fry off Belle’s plate. Philosophically the brunette pushed the plate so it stood halfway between them.

 

“The way we figure Jefferson acts like he’s all casual and whatever. But it’s only because he feels...I don’t know, deeper. More, than most. Sometimes that gets him down, just looking at the world and letting it get to him. He needs a day or two to recharge and then he’s back to his normal self. His highs are higher and his lows lower is all.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Percy wondered if that was the case today or if Jefferson was, as he suspected, avoiding him. He’d told him and no matter what he’d said then he was now trying to come to terms with it. Could he no longer bear to even look at Percy?

 

“But he asked you to babysit me first?”

 

“Ah…” Neal’s gaze strayed around the table, clearly looking for help. “No. Not really.”

 

“Not really?”

 

“Well, we…” He shifted in his seat. “We may have gotten a little enthusiastic about....taking care of Sidney Glass.”

 

“What do you mean taking care of?”

 

“I may have...tied him to a tree. Without his clothes.” Neal said a tad sheepishly.

 

“I banned him from the Diner,” Ruby added.

 

“I suspended him from the football team,” David said.

 

“I told the cheerleaders he has VD,” Emma snagged a fry as her boyfriend’s eyes turned on her admiringly.

 

“I told Mr Hector I saw Sidney copy off my test in Maths.” MM fidgeted as they all turned to her. “Well, he did! I was giving him a chance before.”

 

“We don’t like bullies.” Neal shrugged. “But in our enthusiasm we may have...made things worse for you. So now we’re just making sure you’re not punished for what we did.”

 

“You did all that? For me?”

 

“We’re friends, aren’t we?” Neal grinned before sobering. “We’re just sorry we didn’t do anything before. We didn’t know.”

 

“That’s okay,” Percy mumbled, something thick and syrupy in his throat. Sitting in a booth at the Diner, the air full of frying burgers and coffee he was for the first time in his life surrounded by friends. His insides felt much like the bubbles rising in the Coke in front of him.

 

“It’s not. But we’ll make it up to you.”

 

Toasting with their drinks, and in Ruby’s case, the Diner coffee pot, Percy laughed, the lump in his throat loosening.

 

o.O.o

 

“Jefferson?” He called hesitantly. The front door had been unlocked – a sure sign his friend was home alone. He had no thought to protect the priceless antiques and high tech equipment this house held. His father did and always locked the door behind him. Knowing now as it opened when he tried it Jefferson was home alone, he called again.

Getting no reply didn’t worry him as the house was too big to hear someone calling from one floor to another. Climbing the stairs to the top floor and Jefferson’s “apartment”, he knocked on the door.

 

There was no reply to his knock on the door to his friend’s room so he entered. Inside the curtains were drawn and the air closed in. The floor was covered in clothes, candy wrappers and debris. The cleaning lady hadn’t been allowed in, it seemed. The TV wasn’t on, nor was the stereo blasting music. That was unusual. Jefferson hated the quiet and always surrounded himself with an unholy noise.

 

“Jefferson?”

 

A lump under the covers moved slightly, like a mole stirring a pile of leaves. Staying in the doorway he linked his hands behind his back, gripping them hard. That would keep him from fidgeting.

 

“Jefferson, do you want me to leave?”

 

The covers pulled back to reveal his friend, unshaven and with messy hair. He looked tired.

 

“Percy? What are you doing here?”

 

“I...Well, we have a session today.”

 

“Our session’s on Thursday.” Jefferson laid back, pulling the covers higher again.

 

“It is Thursday.”

 

“Oh.” This didn’t sound in particular like he was very surprised by this or even cared.

 

“Jefferson, do you...do you not want to see me anymore?” His knuckles whitened as he tightened the hold behind his back.

 

“What do you mean not see you?”

 

“I...After what I...told you. About me. You haven’t wanted to see me...since. And I just…” he drew a steadying breath. “I would prefer it if you told me yourself if you don’t want to be my friend anymore.”

 

“The hell?” Jefferson pushed the covers down again and this time sat up. He was wearing a moderately clean white t-shirt. “Why wouldn’t I want to be your friend anymore?” He ran his hand through his hair. “It doesn’t make a difference to me if you don’t like girls, Percy.”

 

“You say that but you haven’t looked at me since I got here. You’ve avoided me for five days. You’ve asked your friends to “guard” me or some such but you won’t even look me in the eye.”

 

Jefferson leaned his head in his hands, rubbing his hands over his face. In the half dusk of the room the white t-shirt seemed to glow. The line of his back through it looked bent. Not the usual proud, almost cocky poise.

 

“Fine. I get it. It’s just words for you, right?” He let go of his hold to gesture, underscoring his words. “But you can’t mean them. If that’s the case, then I’m done too. You can find a new tutor and a new friend.” With that he turned, heading down the steps. He felt like he’d swallowed a rock and it was sitting in his throat, shutting off the air supply and grating his insides. Like sharp incisors it was sinking into his lungs, pricking and biting. Blinking to clear his vision, he descended the steps, desperately holding on to the railing.

 

“Wait. Percy, wait!”

 

Steadying himself before turning, he looked up to see Jefferson in the doorway. The light from his room outlined him almost like a religious painting, appearing to make him shine. Leaning against the doorpost, dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, his feet bare and his hair tangled he was anything but the picture of a saviour. Still, something still called the imagery to his mind. Perhaps it was the look in Jefferson’s eyes, dark and haunted. He was leaning against the doorway like he felt too weak to straighten up.

 

“Well, what is it?”

 

“It’s not…” Jefferson searched for words. “It’s not about what you told me. I mean it, Percy, it doesn’t change what I think of you.”

 

“Then what is it, Jefferson? Why won’t you look at me?”

 

“I can’t! Okay? I can’t look at you and see those bruises and know you only have them cause I took you to that party. You wouldn’t even have been there if it weren’t for me. And I couldn’t… I couldn’t...I didn’t get there in time. I wasn’t there.” His shoulders sagged. “I should have been there.”

 

Percy could finally place the tension in Jefferson’s shoulders, the tremor in his voice and the tortured look in his eyes. It was guilt.

 

He took a step back up the stairs.

 

“Jefferson, it wasn’t your fault. It was Sidney Glass’ and those footballers’.”

 

“I know I didn’t put those marks on you but you wouldn’t have them if I hadn’t taken you there. If I hadn’t left you on your own.”

 

“You can’t follow me around every second. I don’t want you to. And I’ve told you before, I’m not your charity case. I can take care of myself.”

 

“Can you?”

“I can, damn it. I got along fine for years before you even deigned to notice we were in the same class. I’m not your job or burden or whatever and I sure as hell don’t want to be.”

 

“You’re not a burden to me, Percy.” Jefferson said in a patient voice.

“No? Because that’s exactly what it sounds like.”

 

“Damn it, Percy, you’re my friend and I don’t like to see you hurt! Is that so hard to understand?”

 

“It is when you take blame that isn’t yours and make me a responsibility. A chore. I’m your friend, Jefferson, and I don’t like to see you hurting.”

 

“Then...what do we do?”

 

“First of all you stop blaming yourself for the party. I wanted to go. And it made me realise I’m never going to let Glass or his cronies ever stop me from going where I want to go again. They have no right. Secondly, if you’re going to be my friend you have to lay off acting as a bodyguard. I appreciate that you came out when you did, and I’m grateful you stand up for me. But I don’t want to be an...obligation. I want to you want to hang with me for me, not because you’re worried if anything’s going to happen to me.”

 

“Of course I want to hang out with you. I like spending time with you. I like you. Why is this, and nothing else in the universe, difficult for you to comprehend?”

 

“Maybe because not many have before.”

 

Jefferson chuckled weakly.

 

“That has definitely changed.” He leaned his head against the door post, still looking like he might crumble into a heap any second. He really was pale. For a minute Percy considered letting the other boy break the silence. But concern overpowered him.

 

“When is the last time you ate?”

 

“I don’t know. Why? Were you going to make me something?”

 

Percy’s lips twitched at Jefferson’s obvious delight.

 

“No, I was going to tell you to eat something.”

 

“Meanie.”

 

“Don’t you have people who are paid for exactly this job? Feeding you?”

 

“They only make fancy stuff. I don’t want a stuffed whatever with seared somethings.” Jefferson looked like contrary five year old as he said it, poking at a dent in the doorway frame.

 

“You are so spoiled.” Percy shook his head. “Fine, what do you want?”

“Pancakes!”

 

Knowing it would be easier if Jefferson didn’t help he sat him down at the counter on a stool and easily found the ingredients in the enormous kitchen.

 

“Where are the frying pans?” Eating cereal out of the box Jefferson looked around like there might be a pan sitting about.

 

“I have no idea.”

 

“Of course not. Who would know how to find something in their own kitchen?”

 

“I’m too weak from hunger to reply. I’m wasting away. Languishing.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

 

He found a pan in a cupboard and put it on the stove.

 

“Ooh, you’re so smart.”

 

“Just wait til you see me flip one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter this time to work up to the next one, which is a doozy. I hope you're enjoying, it's so great to see some of you are willing to sail this tiny ship with me!


	9. Chapter 9

The mall on Saturdays was mobbed. People milled about, children weaved their way between hundreds of legs. Everyone strolled around seemingly without purpose in the A/C vented air. He could smell pretzels from the food court and hear snippets of conversations as he walked past. Ruby was walking next to him, exclaiming over things in the windows and completely ignoring all the looks she was sent. Dressed in a black dress, red leather jacket and boots with spiky heels she had glances of interest, envy and open admiration from the people passing but she didn’t pay them any mind as she chattered about the things they saw. Percy wondered what that was like, being the focus of so much attention you didn’t even notice anymore. Jefferson was the same, never paying attention to how eyes trailed after him, how smiles widened or stances shifted into inviting. For Percy, who at best hoped to be invisible, it was a foreign world. 

 

They were out on a “mission” as Ruby had termed it, delighted when he asked her for help. She was the only one he’d allowed to come and she was almost dancing with excitement next to him.

 

“Why are you so excited? We’re just buying me jeans.”

 

“It’s a makeover. I love makeovers. We’re getting you some shirts too. Maybe some shoes.” Her green eyes shone with expectation.

 

“Just nothing-”

 

“I know, I know, nothing flashy. Trust me, Perce. I’m nothing if not a great dresser.” She spun in place to show off her dress and he joined in her laugh.

 

“I know you can dress yourself. It’s me I’m worried about.”

 

“Don’t be. This’ll be great.” She tucked her arm under his and he saw three different men do a double take. He apparently didn’t look like he could have a girl as pretty as Ruby on his arm. “I think for you… we should try something like Calvin Klein. Jefferson wears Ralph Lauren a lot and it suits him but you’re rangier, I think you can carry something a little sportier.”

 

“Calvin Klein?” His voice was weak as he thought of the price tags he was sure to encounter.

 

“Well, not actual CK - we’re not all Jefferson and financially independent. No, it’s just the style we’re after, but for a nifty bargain price!”

 

Four hours later Percy’s head spun. Ruby had dragged him through what felt like hundreds of stores, picking up and critically examining every garment before deciding if it was even worth trying on. He now owned not one, but three pairs of jeans, a pair of sneakers, a sport coat, five new shirts, half a dozen new t-shirts and three sweaters. In addition he’d been talked into a cologne, sunglasses and something he was meant to put in his hair. Now he was sitting in the Lucas’ kitchen while Ruby cut his hair with efficient movements. Clearly he’d lost his mind somewhere along the way. He blamed his friend’s infectious enthusiasm.

 

“Can I look yet?”

“No.” She moved around him, critically running her hands through his hair. “Looking in the middle of a haircut is like looking in during heart surgery. It’s not pretty but the end result makes it worth it.”

 

“My hair is so bad now it’s like my chest being cut open?”

 

“Shush, you know what I meant. I’m almost done. Just the finishing touches. Here and….here. There we go.” She pulled the sheet he was wearing over his shoulders off and tilted her head. “Man, I’m good. You look great, Percy.”

 

“Yeah?” Nervous, he stood. The new clothes felt different to what he was used to. Softer, more fitted.

 

“Yeah. Jeans and a white t-shirt, just as a warm up. Classic, sexy. And the belt and boots match. You can wear the jacket with it or leave it. Add a shirt, or don’t. It’s the perfect staple.”

 

“Maybe you should work in those shops.”

 

“I really should.” She set the scissors down on the table. “But Granny needs me at the Diner.” For a moment her green eyes lost a little shimmer, turned inward and wistful. Then she recovered with a brilliant smile. “Anyway. Let’s go check out the end result!”

 

She pulled him up the stairs and into the hall outside her room where an old dresser with a mirrored door stood. For a second he almost didn’t recognize himself. He blinked. The reflection followed suit.

 

“I look...normal.” He leaned closer.

 

“Normal?” Ruby put her hands to her hips, tilted her head. “Percy, you look great. The girls will be all over you.”

 

“Because of jeans?”

 

“Because what’s inside them. You’re good looking, Percy, you always were and now everyone can see it.” She fired him a triumphant smile in the mirror.

 

“You think so?” He peered at his reflection.

 

“I do. Dressing like Marty McFly’s dad never helped anyone. It’s all about packaging. No matter how great the product is inside the wrapping, if it’s unappealing, nine times out of ten people will go for the better packaging. Now people will be able to see you’re a great product at first glance.” She winked in the mirror and nodded to underscore her own words.

 

o.O.o

 

After he was pronounced ready, Ruby announced it was her turn. Apparently what she’d been wearing all day, which looked party-worthy to him, wasn’t acceptable at all. Waiting for her in the den she came down the stairs five times wearing different outfits and wondering what he thought. Finally deeming one suitable he thought they were leaving but that wasn’t the case. Instead he got to move to sit in Ruby’s room while she did her hair and make-up. Ruby was always great company but watching her fight with a hairdryer was pretty dull. Finally, after longer than he thought was possible for any one person to primp she was ready, her green eyes critically surveying herself in the mirror. Striking a pose she then laughed and turned, arms spread wide.

 

“How do I look?”

 

He looked up from the magazine he was leafing through, the article about what skirt length was best for your body shape not keeping a strong hold on his attention.

 

“Fine.”

 

“Fine?” She arched an eyebrow and put her hands on her hips. “I look a damn sight better than fine, you male.”

 

“Ah...you look great?”

 

“There you go.” She shook her hair back and shrugged a short leather jacket over her sweater, lifting the curls out of the back where they stuck to the neck. Dressed in tight black jeans, the spiky heeled boots and a red jumper under the jacket she looked like all she was missing was the motorbike. “Let’s go, what are you waiting for?”

 

Rolling his eyes behind her back he kept quiet and followed her downstairs.

 

As they were late there was already music pounding from inside Jefferson’s house. People were milling around the door and on the terrace smoking and talking. They could see the shapes of others inside, moving, silhouetted against the drawn curtains.

 

Eyes on the rearview mirror Ruby slicked on another layer of red lipstick before turning to him.

 

“Ready to make your grand entrance?”

 

“You make it sound like I’m Cinderella off to the ball,” Percy said with a smile.

 

“It is. Like your fairy godmother I have turned you from maid to princess. Or, in this case, from geek to stud.”

 

“I doubt anyone will care all that much that I bought new jeans.”

 

“Oh, it’s more than that. Believe me. Now, your audience awaits.” 

 

Making him laugh with her antics he followed suit and got out of the car. Walking up the steps to the house she turned to him again and stage whispered.

 

“Just watch how to make an entrance.” She exaggerated her hips swinging, the people in front of her parting like the sea for Moses. Opening the door a wall of sound hit them and confidently Ruby stepped in, stopped and tossed her hair back. Meeting the stares with a smile she took his arm and pulled him inside. More than one pair of eyes directed at her widened when they spotted him.

 

Fighting the urge to bend his head, avert his gaze and hunch his shoulders to shrink out of view, he swallowed. Following Ruby as she made her way to the kitchen he saw girls turning to each other in pairs as he passed, whispering furiously. More than one giggle grated his ears. Several people looked like they were trying to place him and couldn’t. Reaching the kitchen he saw the group of friends gathered around the kitchen island. Jefferson and Emma were in the middle of a food fight and were throwing popcorn at each other, sitting on the island. Belle, MM and David were talking in a huddle standing out of reach of the popcorn. Neal and Archie were sitting on the stools playing cards. Belle was the first to spot them and her face split in a smile. Noticing, Mary Margaret and David turned and blinked in surprise. He realized it took them a moment to recognize him. Sensing the conversation had quieted Neal glanced at the group on the other side of the kitchen island, following their line of sight to Percy and Ruby. He smiled and poked Archie, jutting his chin in a nod for the other boy to turn. He did and spotted them. His eyes slid over him for a moment, but like always they were soon drawn to Ruby. Then Neal, with a joking wink, let out a loud, exaggerated wolf whistle.

 

Jefferson, pulled from the food fight by the noise turned and saw all his friends looking at something. Turning, he spotted what had caught their attention and his eyes widened. Distracted, he didn’t even notice Emma hitting him full on, popcorn raining over him. One got stuck in his hair. The blonde girl followed his gaze and grinned. Following her boyfriend’s sentiment she wolf whistled too.

 

“Looking good, Perce.” 

 

Smiling at his friends’ antics he put his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

 

“Told ya,” Ruby grinned and sashayed over to the kitchen island, hoisting herself up and leaning forward to look at the playing cards in Archie’s hand.

 

Jefferson slid off the counter, his brow clouding over. Steering over Percy tried not to fidget under his gaze. Those gray eyes could be magnetic at times, pulling you in when you tried to look away. It could be because the contrast of dark hair and coloring against the lighter shade of his eyes, or it could be something completely Jefferson that made you want to look longer, guess at the enigma that was hiding behind his gaze. When he reached him Percy realized they were of a height. He’d never noticed before. Standing close they’d line up, shoulders, chest, hips, thighs. Dragging his mind from the image that came unbidden to his thoughts he smiled, suddenly nervous.

 

“What the hell are you wearing?” Jefferson’s tone was derisive, blunt.

 

“I believe they’re called jeans. The fabric was invented wagon covers but failing in his venture the inventor made pants of them instead. They got really popular with cowboys as they were incredibly hard wearing, in part because some of the seams are reinforced by studs. I believe you own some yourself.”

 

“Don’t be glib, you know what I meant.” Jefferson’s brows knitted, his mouth hardening.

 

“I’m not sure that I do. What is wrong with what I’m wearing?” He crossed his arms over his chest, part in temper, part in the familiar reflex to shield himself.

 

“This!” The other boy gestured to him. “All of it, it’s wrong.”

 

“It’s wrong? I happen to like it.”

 

“It’s not you, Percy. Don’t try and be someone you’re not.”

 

“How do you know I wasn’t being someone else before? I didn’t choose those clothes, I couldn’t care less about what I wore. Embarrassing as it is, my mom choose those for me. I found them and put them on before leaving the house because if I didn’t I’d be arrested for indecent exposure or freeze. Now I’ve gotten my first pair of jeans and t-shirts and I have to say I like it. It’s comfortable.”

 

“I don’t care - change it back. The real you.”

 

Temper snapped in his head like sparking cords.

 

“Jefferson, what if this is the real me? Someone who wears jeans, goes to parties, has friends. Someone normal and not an outcast.”

 

“Why the hell would you want to be normal?” Jefferson’s voice climbed.

 

“Why would you not want me to be?” He uncrossed his arms, narrowed his eyes. “Am I no longer your project, Jefferson? Not weird enough to tickle whatever obsession you have with the out of ordinary? More like someone who doesn’t have to rely on you, is that it?”

 

“Fuck off, Percy. You think you have me sussed, don’t you? All figured out and sorted into a neat box the way you like, all of me broken down into tidy columns in some damn spreadsheet in your head. I’m telling you now, I don’t work like that, and I never will. Wear whatever you damn well like for all I care.” With that he stalked past, grabbed a beer from the tub on the counter on his way out and unscrewed the top. Wondering what had just happened and with anger still bubbling inside him Percy turned to his friends, all of whom were unabashedly staring.

 

Joining them he felt temper, confusion and something darker, something that felt a lot like shame, burn under his breastbone. Shame that he’d let himself think Jefferson would be glad to see him looking good, as Ruby had put it. That he’d laugh and sling his arm around his shoulders like he did sometimes, telling him the fun would really start now.

 

“I want a drink.”

 

“There’s Coke, and Sprite. Emma brought orange juice for a mixer and because she’s cheap,” Neal said with a cheeky grin to his girlfriend.

 

“Hey!” She overheard and tossed a handful of popcorn at him. Neal caught some with quick reflexes and popped them in his mouth, munching happily. “We can’t all have rich dads Mr Should I Bring Bourbon or Beer.”

 

“But it turns out I’m Mr Bourbon and Beer.” He shot a smile at Emma before returning his attention to him. “So, Percy, what’s your fancy? Coke?” He grabbed a can from the tub in the middle of the counter, ice melting slowly around a collection of booze and soft drinks.

 

“No, I want a drink. A real one.”

 

“Are you sure?” Neal asked, still holding out the can of Coke in question.

 

“Yes, I’m sure. What is with everyone questioning my ability to make my own choices tonight?”

 

“It’s just...you don’t really drink, Percy.”

 

“Well, now I want to. Anyone looking to stop me?” Silently Ruby held out her drink to him and with a dark satisfaction burning in his stomach he knocked it back.

 

o.O.o

 

Jefferson sat in a corner of the terrace, ignoring the party goers that milled around smoking, talking and making out. The deck light had blown the bulb and left the deck dark in the cold November night. Compared to the inside where it was full of the humid heat created by many bodies a lot of people came and went to get some air. Jefferson had been sitting longer than he should and could feel his fingers starting to numb around the neck of the beer bottle. A cigarette dangled from his other hand, illuminating his face when he took a drag and the tip of it came to life in an orange glow.

 

“There you are.” Ruby spoke and he looked up. She was holding her hair off her neck with one hand, fanning her face with the other. “It’s so hot in there.” With a sigh she let her hair down again and pulled herself up to sit on the deck rail. Tilting her head he saw her scrutinise his face. As he’d thought many times before he wondered how she could see so well in the dark.

 

“What are you moping about?”

 

“I’m not moping,” he said defensively.

 

“Sure you are. Is it about fighting with Percy?”

 

“Someone has big ears, grandma.”

 

“‘It’s so I can hear you better’. Call me grandma again and I’ll hit you.” She held out a hand. “Gimme some of that.” Obliging her he got up and handed her the beer. Leaning against the railing next to her he looked out over the garden.

 

“Seriously, Jefferson. What does it matter to you what Percy wears?”

 

Avoiding the question, he countered, “Why did you do it?”

 

“Do what?” Ruby said innocently and took a sip from the bottle.

 

“Come on, Lucas, this has your fingerprints all over it. Why did you do it?”

 

“Well, first of all I’ve never seen anyone in greater need of a makeover.” Her voice softened, the joke vanishing from her voice like smoke carried by wind. “But mostly I did it because he asked me. He looked at me with those serious eyes, Jeff, and he asked me to help him buy jeans because he never had.”

 

She slid off the banister, handed him his bottle back.

 

“You seem to think this is some personal affront to you, that Percy has let you down in some way because he wants to look more like others but all I see is you letting your friend down. He just wants to fit in, Jeff, and not all of us have the luxury or wish to be so different. You’re being unfair to Percy. All that’s changed is the wrapping, what’s inside is the same still. It’s unlike you to be so shallow. And that you won’t tell me what’s really the matter. When you’re ready to tell me you know how to find me.”

 

She didn’t brush his shoulder or touch his arm as she usually did before leaving, just passed him, a hint of her perfume mixing with the smell of his cigarette to show she’d just been next to him.

 

There were few people in the world he respected as much as Ruby Lucas and her words smarted. 

 

The downside to people who knew you really well was when they wanted to make their point sting, they could. Usually he and the Diner waitress agreed and shared a special sense of camaraderie, considered by the others to be a bit wilder, more untamed and while not on the outside, on a side of their own. It stung like needles, the kind some plants could give you, a splinter so small you couldn’t see it but that stuck under your skin and pricked. Annoyed he ran a hand through his hair. Ruby just didn’t see that Percy was...not Percy. Not dressed like that. Everything in his mind tumbled and twisted seeing it. Something rose inside him at the sight of it, like the hairs on his arms would when he heard a really good song. It made him feel something he couldn’t name or pinpoint and he didn’t care for it. The best he could do was it felt...wrong. Or weird. Or different. Something was off, was his point.

 

Returning inside he grimly crossed to the stereo and turned it even louder, the pounding of the bass shaking the windows in their frames. Switching his beer for a bottle of bourbon that stood on the low coffee table he took a deep pull from it. Across the room Percy was talking to some sophomore girls who’d never paid him any attention before. He had a bottle of beer in his hand and Jefferson narrowed his eyes. Did anyone need any further proof this was not Percy Whale? Drinking, talking to strangers, not a bowtie or sharp trouser crease in sight. Well, fine. If that was who he wanted to pretend to be, then he could. He saw one of the girls reach out a hand and touch his arm as she laughed about something he’d said. Like she’d get his jokes.

 

Self-consciously Percy ran a hand through his hair - a new move for him as it had always been combed back with water like he’d been born in the fifties before. Now it looked soft, shades lighter, and fell in a short style over his forehead. The fairer hair made his eyes a starker shade of blue by comparison, bright and arresting. In a t-shirt instead of short sleeved shirt his arms no longer looked scrawny from the too big sleeves that stood out at the starched corners like some kind of wings. In fact, he didn’t look skinny at all anymore but more lean and rangy. Strong, wiry shoulders stretched the t-shirt fabric over his chest, before tapering over a trim waist to slim, jean covered hips held up by a functional, no frills belt. Long toned legs now covered in blue denim reminded Jefferson one of Percy’s lesser mentioned hobbies was running track.

 

Grimacing at no one in particular he turned away, his eyes searching the crowd. Catching the gaze of one of the cheerleaders he jerked his head and with a smug smile at her friends she sashayed over. Meeting her, he yanked her forward and placed his lips on hers. With ease of habit she responded, her arms wrapping around his neck. She tasted of chocolate liqueur and menthol cigarettes. It was cloying and sweet and breaking apart for a moment he offered her a drink from the bottle, hoping it would wash some of the taste away. With a grin he supposed was meant to signify what a fun party girl she was she accepted and took a drink while watching him from under half lowered lids. Glancing over her shoulder he saw Percy was looking in his direction and with his eyes meeting the other boy’s he leaned in and kissed the girl again. 

 

Pliantly she melded to him and he ran his hand over the soft jumper she wore. He could feel the outline of her bra underneath. Closing his eyes he tried to work up some enthusiasm for this fact, the look in Percy’s eyes burnt to his retinas. He’d looked almost...sad. The cheerleader slid her tongue over his and Jeff felt a small ember of heat wake in his stomach.

 

One of the reasons Jefferson loved parties were that they were ever-changing, like the sea. The murmur of many voices would rise and fall, the constant movement of people ebb and flow. An hour later he was sitting on a table with the girl, Lisa, an arm around her shoulders and a bottle of beer in the other hand. Neal, Emma, David and Mary Margaret sat and stood around him. Percy was talking to another set of giggling girls across the room and Belle and Ruby were dancing by the stereo. Archie was talking to some guy who was on the school paper with him, his face earnest. 

 

The cheerleader announced she had to freshen up and steered for the bathroom with a flirty glance over her shoulder. Normally that would’ve made him smile, wink if he was in a good mood and appreciate the way her hips swayed as she walked away. Today he just frowned and drank from his beer.

 

Neal got up from the couch, squeezed Emma’s shoulder and joined Jeff at the table. Sitting next to him he crossed his arms and squinted goodnaturedly out over the party.

 

“Good party, Jeff. One for the books. Everyone seems to be having a good time.”

 

“Great,” Jefferson muttered in reply.

 

“That is,” Neal turned and tilted his head. “Everyone but the host himself. What’s up?”

 

“Nothing’s up. Why do people keep asking me that?” Jefferson shook his head like it’d rid him of the unpleasant sensation in his gut.

 

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you love parties and you’re always the life and soul of one. Tonight you have the life and soul of a dead pigeon.”

 

“I’m not in the mood, Neal.” 

 

His friend held up his hands and sent him a lopsided smile. “My point exactly.”

 

“What do you want, Neal?”

 

“For a start, how about you tell me why you’re in such a weird mood? Or we could start on why you’re making out with Lisa Kennedy like you’re a leech and she’s a host and every time you come up for air you glare at Percy like he stole your favorite toy?”

 

Slamming the bottle down on the table Jefferson stood up. “Well, I’m sorry my presence at this party is such a drag for you! I didn’t realize you were the fun police, making sure everyone is having a jolly good time. For your information, I am, so just shove off.”

 

With that he stalked off, met the cheerleader in the middle of the room as she was returning from the bathroom and dragged her out of the room with him. She followed with a breathy giggle.

 

o.O.o

 

He didn’t know how much time had passed when they were interrupted but the cheerleader was without her shoes, socks and sweater. He had taken his shirt off at some point and had maneuvered them horizontal on the antique, extremely uncomfortable settee in the library. A knock interrupted them and pausing for a second he then decided it wasn’t that important. He’d chosen one of the rooms in the house with a lock on it for a reason so whoever was knocking could stand out there for all he cared.

 

The knock returned and with an annoyed sigh, he called,

 

“Get your own room! We’re busy.”

 

The cheerleader giggled under him and reached out her arms to bring him closer again.

 

“Jeff, I know you’re in there. Come out.”

 

He recognised Neal’s voice and frowned.

 

“Neal, I’m in the middle of something. Go away.” He kissed the girl again, her cherry scented lipstick making him feel slightly queasy when it mixed with the alcohol in his blood.

 

“It’s Percy, okay? Will you just come out so I can talk to you? I don’t care how many cheerleaders you’ve got in there. Though if it’s more than two I’ll tip my hat to you.”

 

Swearing under his breath Jefferson clambered off the girl, pulling on his shirt as he went and opened the door. Outside Neal peeked over his shoulder.

 

“Just one? Losing your touch, old pal?”

 

“What do you want?” He asked through clenched teeth.

 

Neal sobered and leaned closer so the girl in the room wouldn’t hear. “It’s Percy. He’s had one, or ten, too many. He’s not feeling great. Maybe you could let him upstairs so he can get some rest? He’s not going to be able to go home in the shape he’s in.”

 

“Shit.” Running his hand through his hair he set off down the hall. “Where?”

 

“Ruby managed to get him almost up before she remembered you lock your room during parties.”

 

Shaking his head, though if it was at himself, Percy, or the situation he didn’t know, he set off up the stairs. Neal followed, though at a slower pace and Jeff wondered if his awful mood made this intentional on his friend’s part. On the landing before the last stairs up to his rooms he found Percy, Ruby, Archie and Emma. Percy was sitting with his back to the wall, trying to keep awake. The others were talking quietly but stopped when they saw him. From their looks he knew they were wondering if he was there to help or yell and cold shame trickled into his veins. They deserved better from him. Trying for a smile he saw them relax. Crouching in front of Percy he put a hand to his shoulder.

 

“Hey there, Perce. How do you feel?”

 

The blond boy looked up, trying to focus.

 

“Mmm, tired.”

 

“I hear ya.” He turned to the others, frowning. “How much has he had? He’s really gone.”

 

“We’re not really sure. He spent a lot of time with some girls, they might not have known he’s never had a drink before,” Emma said.

 

“Or they thought it was funny to give him too much,” Ruby added and crossed her arms, temper flashing in the pale green eyes.

 

Jefferson sighed. “Either way, he can’t go home like this. His parents would freak. I’ll take care of it, he can sleep here. Ruby, could you open the door for me upstairs? Emma, Neal, Archie, could you make sure people leave? And check all the rooms - last time I had a party I found Tiny sleeping in the laundry room in just his underwear and a drawn on unibrow.”

 

“Sure thing, Jeff,” Emma said and pretended to push up her sleeves. “We’ll make sure there are no illegitimate houseguests.”

 

“Thanks.” He pulled his keys from his pocket. “And lock up when you leave, yeah?” Tossing them to Neal who plucked them neatly out of the air he nodded. He knew Neal would know it was an apology when he saw it. Nodding back his friend put an arm around Emma and they headed downstairs. With Ruby’s help he got Percy to his feet, an arm around his neck. Walking ahead to open the door she waited for them at the top of the stairs. The blond boy missed the next step twice, almost pulling Jefferson with him in a fall.

 

“Right, that’s it. Keep still.” He bent and put an arm under Percy’s knees, braced to take on his full weight and straightened with the other boy in his arms.

 

“Ooh, smooth move, Rhett,” Ruby teased from the top of the stairs.

 

“Oh, shut up. I’ll never get him up the stairs otherwise.”

 

“Who knew you were such a knight in shining armor?”

 

Jefferson snorted. “Yeah, that’s me. I wish the damsel was a bit lighter though.” He hefted the weight higher and eased past Ruby in the door. She opened the bathroom door for him and asked if he was sure she shouldn’t stay. Setting Percy down he fought to keep his balance and not let the other boy hit his head on the tiled floor.

 

“It’s okay. You go home.”

 

“If you’re sure…” She hesitated in the doorway.

 

“I am.” Ruby turned to go. “Ruby?” She stopped, turned back. “I’m not ready to talk about it, because I don’t know what “it” is, but you were right. It’s just the outside, it doesn’t matter what it looks like.”

 

With a smile, she nodded and headed out. He heard the door click closed behind her. Behind him Percy struggled to get up from the floor. Looking around, he frowned.

 

“Why are we in the bathroom?”

 

“You’ll find out really soon, I’m afraid.” Sitting down, sliding along the wall until he was resting his back against it he listened to Percy spouting what he probably thought was a sensible lecture though he struggled to pronounce “amygdala” and kept giggling about this. Trying to get him to drink some water was proving difficult while he talked. Then, from one moment to the next the color faded from his face.

 

“I don’t feel so good.” Quickly Jeff got to his feet, kneeled next to where Percy was sitting, hauled him up higher. Pulling his shirt off the blond boy protested.

 

“You’ll get why in a sec.” Tossing it behind him he pushed Percy to hang over the toilet. A second later the protests were drowned as his body fought to expel the poison he’d poured into it. Turning away slightly, his stomach shivering in pity he refilled the glass of water. Percy groaned behind him and tried to get up.

 

“Nuh-uh.” Jefferson pushed him down again. “I’m afraid you’re not done. When you party like you have tonight it takes a while.”

 

“Oh, God.” 

 

A weak smile fluttered over Jeff’s lips.

 

“I’m afraid so.” Companionably he sat down again, putting the glass of water within easy reach. “Listen, Percy.” He crossed his legs at the ankle. “I...About tonight. I want to say I’m sorry. I don’t know what got in to me.”

 

“S’alright,” the blond boy mumbled.

 

“It’s not. I don’t know where I got the idea I have the right to decide what you should do, or wear or be. So I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I was a bad friend tonight.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Helping your friends through their first encounter with alcohol is in the manual. And I messed up. I know you wouldn’t know your limits and I still didn’t deign to help you out.”

 

“I’m okay.”

 

“You say that now. Just wait until tomorrow morning.” 

 

Another spell came over Percy who curled up and philosophically Jefferson looked up at the ceiling, waiting for the worst to pass. It took another 45 minutes after which Percy was ready to fall asleep on the heated tiles of the floor.

 

“No, no sleeping in here. That’s for pros like me. Up you come.” He pulled him to his feet and they made their way unsteadily to the bed. With a bit of shuffling he managed to get Percy and all his flailing limbs onto the mattress. Straightening up he noted the other boy was already asleep. He already knew he was a quiet sleeper, but usually he curled up into a ball, as ready to protect himself in sleep as when awake. With alcohol in his body he laid splayed over the whole mattress like he was trying to cover as much of it as possible. One arm was slung over his head, the other resting on his stomach. His little finger was just touching the button of his jeans and for a moment Jefferson wondered if he should take those off as well to make his sleep easier. Then he shook his head, frowning. It didn’t feel right. Percy wouldn’t like to be seen as vulnerable as that, he was sure. Moving his gaze from the jean button it slid higher. He had a toned torso, with strong shoulders and a slender waist. His skin looked soft, but nothing else of him did. Percy sighed in his sleep and shifted and guiltily Jeff looked away. What the hell was he doing anyway?

 

Steering for the couch he rubbed his hands over his eyes, suddenly exhausted.

 

o.O.o

 

When Percy woke up he wished he hadn’t. His stomach was heaving, his head pounded and the light seemed to burn his eyes. There was a sour taste in his mouth, his limbs felt weak and his heart was racing. Had he caught the flu? Daring another look he realized he wasn’t in his room. Not in his bed. Forcing his brain into cooperation he saw he was at Jefferson’s, in his bed to be precise. Memories trickled back into his mind in flashes. Arriving at the party, talking with some girls who’d been spectarticularily dull, drinking. So many drinks. Fighting with Jefferson, watching him kiss the cheerleader he’d been in the supplies closet with at school. Vague recollections of sitting on the bathroom floor, of throwing up with Jefferson close by made him curl up. Christ, why did anyone drink at all? Moving in the bed made the scent of laundry powder and Jefferson rise from the sheets and quickly he got up.

 

The room spun once, twice, before he got his balance. Stumbling to the bathroom he leaned over the sink and met his reflection. His eyes were bloodshot and he had greyish bags under them. His skin was pallid and his lips chapped and dry. He looked terrible.

 

More memories swirled in his head, all rocking in his mind’s eye in time with the spinning room. Jefferson, his lips pressed to that girl’s, his hand cradling the back of her head as his eyes met Percy’s. There had been defiance in his gaze. Why, he couldn’t figure out. Groaning as his head pounded he squeezed his eyes shut and waited for it to subside. Then, some time later Jefferson had been sitting with him while he was sick. He swallowed as his stomach moved uneasily at the thought. He’d pushed water on him, made sure he didn’t ruin his shirt. And he’d...apologised? Said something...whatever he’d said it was gone but he was sure he’d accepted an apology.

 

Turning away from the mirror he noticed his shirt, crumpled in a corner and picked it up to put it on. Looking at it he wondered if it hadn’t caused more trouble than it was worth. Pulling it over his head he padded out of the bathroom again. The light was slightly less blinding this time and he noticed a large glass of water on the nightstand. Grateful enough to sigh he spotted a chart of Tylenol next to it. Swallowing the pills and taking a few extra gulps of water he looked around for Jefferson. Not finding him upstairs he ventured downstairs, listening for music. When Jefferson was in a room there tended to be noise of some kind.

 

Surprised to hear All Through The Night playing from the kitchen he steered there. The surprise only increased when he found his friend, surrounded by an unholy mess, unmistakably if unbelievably, making pancakes. Jefferson was dressed in a batter spattered t-shirt and sweatpants, his hair curling more than usual in the heat from the stove. He looked warm and concentrated.

 

“Hi.” Not knowing what else to say he put his hands in his pockets. Jefferson looked up and smiled warmly. Percy had been unsure of if they were friendly again but it seemed they were from the smile he received.

 

“Morning. How’s the head?”

 

“Awful.”

 

“I bet. This will be ready in a minute.”

 

“Are you...cooking?”

 

“Yes. Pancakes.” Percy noted there was a very large discard pile of burnt pancakes and the plate meant for the finished ones only held one small, pale pancake. “I thought…” He set the spatula aside and ran a hand through his hair. There was some batter stuck in it. “I thought after last night that maybe one apology wasn’t quite enough. I wanted to do something nice. You do remember me apologizing?”

 

“Parts of it.” Percy slowly pulled himself up on one of the stools at the counter. The smell, though appetising in a way, was making his stomach shudder.

 

“Would you like me to do it again?”

 

Percy smiled. “Nah, I remember the key part. You said, ‘sorry I’m such an ass sometimes, I know you’re always right, Percy, and I’ll never forget again’. Right?”

 

Jefferson laughed heartily.

 

“Yes, that was the broad strokes. I did a lot of grovelling as well. Next time I’ll- oh shit,” he interrupted himself as the pancake in the pan began smoking and then actually caught fire. Percy laughed so hard his headache jabbed him behind the eyes.

 

In the end there was only the one little soggy pancake to be had but feeling generous Percy ate all of it, forcing his stomach to keep it down.

 

“Okay, you’ve eaten my apology, how about we head to the Diner and I’ll buy you a real hangover cure?” Jefferson asked, pulling his car keys from his pocket.

 

“Lord have Mercy, yes. I could eat a horse.”

 

“I think they took that off the menu last year.”

 

“I’ll make do with a smaller animal if I have to.”

 

Jefferson laughed and slung his arm around Percy’s shoulder, as he’d pictured he would have the night before and together they headed out of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's an 80's high school story without a makeover, after all? It had to be done :) I'm so happy to hear you are enjoying - a huge thank you to my lovely commenters who kept me smiling through editing the 18 pages that make up this chapter. 
> 
> If you squint you can start seeing some things happening so stay tuned for more! //C.F.


	10. Chapter 10

The idea of movie night had been Ruby’s but the space, lack of parental supervision and unlimited snacks ensured the scene was Jefferson’s house. The downstairs living room was a bit too formal but the den held several couches, a large TV and even a little fridge. Collected on the couches the movie choice had been decided by fate. The Madden collection, as well as contributions from everyone were piled up and they each got to choose one to put on a folded note and drop in a top hat Jefferson took around. It had been sitting in a glass case with a little brass sign stating it had been his great great grandfather’s. The great great grandson had taken it out and handled it so easily Percy wanted to wince. MM got the honors to pull the choice out of the hat. Unfolding it she read out Grease to the sighs of Neal, David, Emma and Jefferson. Ruby whooped. Percy had no opinion as he hadn’t seen it.

 

“You’re welcome, everyone.”

 

“Thanks a lot, Lucas,” Neal responded sarcastically. She just blew him a kiss and with a laugh he pretended to catch it and put it in his pocket.

 

“Is it not a good movie?” Archie asked and Ruby turned to him, her eyes wide.

 

“Are you telling me you’ve never seen Grease?”

 

He shook his head.

 

“Never? How do you avoid it?”

 

“Yeah, Hopper, tell us, how does one avoid it, because I’d like to,” Neal joked from his seat on one of the couches. 

 

Archie just shrugged. “I don’t go the the movies much and we don’t have a TV.”

 

“Ah. Well, I’m not getting rid of my TV.” Neal leaned back.

 

“I haven’t seen it either,” Percy piped in and Ruby turned to him this time.

 

“Who are you people? And Perce, really, you’re in bad shape. You hadn’t seen The Breakfast Club and now you’re telling me you’ve not seen Grease? Have you been living in a cave or something?”

 

“I don’t really watch much TV. I don’t have time.”

 

“I bet you watch University Challenge,” Belle said, her soft voice laughing. “Because that’s what I watch!”

 

Ruby shook her head sadly, like they were hopeless cases and Percy smiled slightly. He was trying to find his footing with all of them again, feeling awkward about his behaviour on the Saturday. He’d had his first drink, and then in quick succession his second, third and fourth. After that it was slightly blurry but he’d spent most of the evening throwing up in Jefferson’s bathroom. It was cause for more than a little embarrassment.

 

“At least today you’re in for a treat.”

 

“Yeah, in the shape of Olivia Newton-John in black tights,” Neal said and Emma threw a pillow at him. “What? Don’t tell me you don’t enjoy John Travolta in those black jeans.”

 

“That’s not it.” She smiled sweetly. “I like his face. So handsome. Those magnetic blue eyes, that cleft chin, the hair.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

 

“If only I could meet a man who looked just like him,” she said sweetly as she batted her eyelashes at him.

 

“Shut up, Swan.”

 

“Or what?”

 

“Or I’ll wrestle you into a pair of those tights. It’s like a wearable prison, no way of getting out.”

 

“Could we get through an evening for once without you two ending up wrestling?” Mary Margaret asked, her voice amused.

 

“Not possible!” Several of the friends spoke in sync and laughed. 

 

Jefferson got up and with a grimace he put the tape in the VCR. It whirred to life and the screen flickered. Everyone shifted to get comfortable. Emma and Neal were on one couch, leaning against each other. David and Mary Margaret were in an armchair, she curled on his lap. Archie was in the second armchair while Ruby and Belle sat on pillows on the floor. That left the floor or sharing a couch with him. The minute hesitation before he sat on the sofa didn’t escape Percy.

 

The sound system blared to life and cartoon picked up on screen. 

 

It took Percy about five minutes to realize it was not his kind of movie. With his attention straying he watched instead as Neal leaned back against the armrest of the couch, holding his arm out so Emma could curl under, half lying against his chest. For all their teasing they had something undefinable between them, something invisible that kept them tethered to each other. You could see them together at thirty, at eighty. It was in the way Neal looked at Emma, in the way she put her hand in his. Absolute trust, Percy realized was it. That’s what he was seeing. Absolute, unquestionable trust.

 

On the other side of him Mary Margaret and David were watching the movie but the footballer’s hand was quite a bit higher on her leg than it had been at the start. While Emma and Neal seemed to be tied to each other by invisible ropes they sometimes struggled against to test their strength, MM and the captain of the football team were like two pieces of a whole. They finished each other’s sentences, sought each other out in any crowd and seemed at times to be almost reflections of each other in the way they moved and spoke.

 

On the floor Belle sighed over the female actress singing about being let down but still hopelessly devoted. She was unattached as far as any of the friends knew but she had to be the most romantic person he knew. Gestures, cards, flowers, all touched her. Books, music and films all seemed to have immediate access to her heart and each memorable moment was stored away there like treasure. To be taken out and sighed over, admired and re-lived. Yet, since her breakup with Gaston, a football player on David’s team, she hadn’t dated at all. Percy wondered if reality and high-school boys didn’t measure up to her dreams of romance. She was pretty, smart and well-liked but from what he could sense there was no currents between her and any of the boys at school. There was this sense about her that she was meant for something different. Like she was waiting for something amazing and mere mortals need not even try. That was perhaps unfair but it was just a feeling he got from her. That she was waiting for something to start.

 

Next to her was Ruby, laughing at Frenchy’s antics. She was nothing but current - revving to go, like a raw emotion held together by a slim band of restraint. If she let go of that one day it would probably be in the greatest love for anyone to have or the most passionate hate. He thought it would be the first though, and he wondered, as the group seemed to have a track record for pairing off, if it would be Archie. And if it were, would he be able to withstand the emotional tidal wave that seemed to be building inside Ruby Lucas?

 

Turning his attention to the sandy haired boy he found him as usual resting his eyes on Ruby. The bands between those two weren’t defined yet but were more like magnets. They were so different but wherever they were they were drawn together, the current between them an invisible force. That was the attraction between them, as strong as nature. Still neither seemed ready or willing to take the first step, the small gesture that would catapult them into the eye of that brewing storm.

 

The last person left in the room was Jefferson and darting a glance to make sure he was watching the movie where some people were racing cars now he slid his eyes back to rest on him. He was sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him, feet resting on the coffee table. His arms were crossed and he was watching the movie with a half amused smile. Dressed in a shirt and open vest over his t-shirt there was something vaguely Edwardian over his looks, like the lord of the manor. He slanted a smile at something he found funny in the movie and Percy changed his mind. Perhaps more cocky stableboy than lord of the manor.

 

Leaning forward to grab his soda the muscles in his arms shifted, the shadows deepening around them when they coiled in the simple move. Lifting the glass to his lips he drank deep, his Adam’s apple moving with the gulps. A drop of condensation on it travelled slowly from the rim, making its way down the length of the glass until it hung suspended from the bottom, shivering. Then slowly, as if filmed in slow motion it fell. Percy’s eyes followed it, the little crystal shimmering for a moment before it landed on the back of Jefferson’s other hand. A hissing breath at the coldness was his response and he brought his hand to his lips, licking the drop away. His tongue darted out for a second to swipe over the skin on the back of his hand before he returned it to rest on his thigh. Percy’s heart contracted and caught up with a double beat, his blood feeling hot in his veins.

 

Jefferson turned his head to say something, laughter dancing in his eyes as he caught Percy’s gaze. Whatever he saw looking back quieted the mirth, a shadow of wonder chasing through before he looked away again. Tearing his eyes from Jefferson he wondered why his heart was thudding like an insistent knock in his chest. Waiting for it to slow down the credits started to roll.

 

“That is so romantic at the end, even though they don’t kiss,” Ruby sighed.

 

“Maybe more because they don’t?” Belle said, her eyes wistful. “They know they have all life to catch up.”

 

“Maybe it was because she’d just smoked and would taste terrible.” Percy hadn’t really meant for this to be heard by the whole room but Ruby laughed.

 

“I’m sure Danny would survive - he smokes too, after all.” She turned to Jefferson, “So, Jeff, Percy wouldn’t kiss someone who smokes - how about you? You smoke, would you say kissing another smoker is fine?”

 

Jefferson shrugged, “Sure. I’m not choosy.”

 

Ruby hooted and turned back to Percy who really wished the conversation would be over soon.

 

“But you wouldn’t kiss a smoker? Have you tried?”

 

“No,” Percy replied and crossed his arms. Ruby saw through the gesture and her eyes widened.

 

“You haven’t kissed anyone, have you?”

 

“...No. So what?” Miserably he waited for a segue to another topic.

 

“Nothing, nothing.” Ruby leaned back and for a moment he thought she looked like she was plotting something. Then Archie piped in.

 

“I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of. I haven’t kissed anyone either.”

 

Ruby turned her whole body to look at Archie, eyes wide in surprise.

 

“No, of course not. I didn’t mean it was something to be ashamed of. I think it’s...lovely, to wait. For the right person, I mean.” She cleared her throat. “So, Percy, if you found the right person, would you kiss them?”

 

He felt Jefferson’s gaze on him like a weight.

 

“Yeah. The right person, I would.”

 

o.O.o

 

The night was dark outside the windows and the wind was kicking up. Mary Margaret and David had announced it was a school night and they had to head home, offering Belle a ride as well. Emma and Neal had disappeared into another room at some point after Grease and would probably not be seen for a while. They liked to change places of things when they were over and were probably upsetting his dad’s library.

 

Percy, Ruby, Archie and himself were the only ones left in the den. The next movie to be pulled from the hat was Nightmare on Elm Street - Neal’s choice. Deciding to go for it though the boy requesting it wasn’t there they put it on, though Jefferson didn’t really pay a lot of attention. He didn’t like sitting still for too long and one movie was usually his limit. Fidgeting in his seat he looked around instead. Ruby sat in one of the big armchairs, Archie in the one next to her, both watching the movie intently. He could see the light of the TV reflected in their eyes.

 

Next to him on the couch Percy was leaning forward, his eyes fastened on the screen with rapt attention. It looked like he enjoyed horror movies. Remembering that his dog was named for one he figured it might be a favorite genre for the other boy. It was sort of endearing that someone so logical and clever would enjoy the basic thrill of a horror movie. Something flashed on the screen and he saw Ruby gasp and grab Archie’s hand, peering at the screen from behind the parted fingers of her other hand. The sandy haired boy was sitting incredibly still and Jefferson wondered if he thought Ruby might realize what she was doing if he moved, even an inch. Catching his friend’s eye he noted her gaze wasn’t frightened in the slightest, framed by her fingers where she was peeking through her parted digits. Jefferson almost laughed. Ruby was putting on a show to get Archie to hold her hand. It was one of the oldest tricks in the book but clearly it had worked. A few minutes later Ruby got up and announced she needed popcorn. Immediately Archie offered to help so Jeff and Percy were left alone in the den. He didn’t think the blond boy even noticed, enraptured as he was by the film.

 

Sitting bent forward, his elbows resting on his knees, the curve of his back was outlined in the long sleeved t-shirt he wore. He could make out the vague hills and valleys of his spine through the soft fabric. His hair, now falling freely and not slicked back rested against the shirt material at the nape of his neck. It looked soft. He wondered if it was. Percy’s shirt was tucked in to the jeans, the belt flat against a toned stomach even when he was leaning forward. Jeff should know, he’d seen him without his shirt twice and knew there wasn’t an ounce of excess fat on the blond boy. It was all taut skin over lean muscle.

 

Once more the screen flashed and Percy jerked back in his seat, his hand landing on Jefferson’s thigh. His hand was warm, burning through the fabric of his jeans, the heat transplanting higher. Twitching in response, Percy pulled his hand back like he’d been burned.

 

“Sorry! I didn’t meant to do that, I was just...the movie, I jumped and…” the words tumbled from him as he held the hand like it was the offending party and not actually part of his body. “It was a reflex, I wouldn’t do that to you, Jefferson, I wasn’t...I’m not...It wasn’t like...that.”

 

“It’s fine, Percy, relax. Let’s finish this movie.”

 

The blond boy looked at him searchingly before dutifully returning his eyes to the screen. Soundlessly Jefferson let out a long breath and shifted slightly in his seat. Like he’d left a mark you could see he could feel the outline of Percy’s hand on his thigh still, the warmth of it feeding his hammering pulse. Without seeing what happened on the screen he watched the figures moving across it. 

 

Once the movie ended Percy shot up and stated he’d catch a ride with Ruby and Archie before leaving. Sitting in the dark room, all by himself suddenly he felt his heartbeat return to normal. All of a sudden incredibly tired he laid down on the couch. He could feel the heat left by Percy’s body under his legs. Quickly he turned and without thinking too much about it laid down the other way so the body warmth would be under his torso and back. Letting the wind outside lull him he closed his eyes.

 

o.O.o

 

Closing the door to his room, Percy leaned against it. Letting his head fall back he hit the back of it on the door with a thud. Repeating the move he swore quietly to himself. This wasn’t really happening. It couldn’t. He wasn’t losing his first real friend because of it. He wouldn’t let it.

 

Of course he’d known Jefferson was attractive, that he found him so. He wasn’t blind. But he’d thought of it in a detached sort of way, the way you admired someone in a poster. Pretty, yes, but just a face. Now he knew painfully clearly he was attracted to Jefferson. The person Jefferson, who grinned so his eyes lit up, who tossed his head to get his hair out of his face, who complained when he had to do equations and who looked like something out of a dream. 

 

Struggling out of his t-shirt and jeans he dropped them where he stood, letting himself fall into bed. Turning over he kicked the covers that felt too hot off. Why had he been sitting so close to Jefferson? A few more inches between them and he’d been feeling the couch up, not Jefferson. Stifling a keening noise that wanted to escape him in both parts embarrassment and arousal he curled up on his side. Bringing his offending left hand up he stared at it, grimly blaming it for the trouble it had caused. He made a point of not touching Jefferson a lot for precisely this reason - why play with fire - but now he couldn’t forget what it had been like. Soft, washed out jeans over firm thigh muscle that had hardened under his hand when he tensed. Percy’s little finger had been a few millimeters from touching the zipper in the other boy’s jeans. Curling his left hand into a fist he tried to ignore the sensation that was seared into his brain like a brand. The sensation of Jefferson under his hands.

 

Straightening out again he stared up at the ceiling, shifting uncomfortably. He had no idea how he’d ever fall asleep? His mind gleefully replied exactly how and his cheeks burnt hotter. He wouldn’t. Jefferson was his friend. You just didn’t do...that, thinking of your friends. How would he ever know, his mind returned. That wasn’t the point. It was the principle of the thing. Yes, his mind returned sarcastically, principles sustain one so much better than sleep. 

 

Groaning Percy sat up, lit his bedside lamp and picked up the book on his nightstand. Crime and Punishment, for Advanced English. After staring at the same page for two minutes he tossed the book across the room, fell back on the mattress, running both his hands through his hair. Resting an arm over his eyes to block everything, all it brought to mind was the darkened room from earlier. Jefferson breathing next to him, the warmth of his body radiating to caress his side. His hand on the other boy’s thigh, his pulse hammering so he was sure he could feel it against his leg. Rolling out of bed, any thought of sleep abandoned, he sat down at his desk and flipped open his Maths book. Only calculus could help now.

 

o.O.o

 

In his dream Jefferson was back in the darkness of the movie night. The light of the TV screen painted a shifting, silvery light over the surfaces. It made it feel slightly surreal, like he was projected on a screen, all edges softened and sounds dampened. There was only this room, no world outside of the stage of the den. Disembodied he watched himself and Percy on the couch. He saw himself sitting leaned back, studiously unaffected, his eyes on the TV. But they didn’t follow any of the movements, betraying he was actually not watching the film at all. Next to him Percy was leaned forward, wrapped up in the story as he tensely watched with rapt attention. His face was illuminated by the screen, the shadows travelling over it as the light source shifted on the screen, hollowing his cheeks or deepening the hood of his eyes. Jerking back from something on the TV his hand grasped Jefferson’s thigh and he saw himself tensing, all muscles in his legs, arms and neck clenching. Percy turned, his words never voiced as he looked at Jefferson. A small, shy smile rose like the sun edging over the horizon on his face. Slowly he saw himself reaching out, his hand coming to rest on the blonde boy’s neck, wrapping around the back of it. Still ever so slowly, his eyes wide he pulled him closer, the moment shimmering to a halt around them. Sound and light poured from the TV but faded into the background.

 

Suddenly, in the way of dreams, he was back in his body, seeing Percy’s face inches from his. The other boy’s pulse was hammering under his fingers, his eyes wide open and wondering. His lips parted to voice a question, wetting them nervously and Jefferson closed the distance, muting the unspoken words with his lips. Ever so gently he moved his lips against Percy’s, probing and searching. A moment later he felt the blond boy’s hesitant reply, his lips relaxing in invitation and heat bloomed in his mind like silver fireworks. Showered in the glistening sparks travelling through his thoughts he tilted his head, deepened the kiss. 

 

Pulling apart he met Percy’s gaze, the familiar blue seeming to shine in the dusk. His mind struggled to comprehend what it had just felt and failed. Every thought, instinct and need pulled towards the blond boy and getting to touch him again. Slowly Percy reached out, his hand reaching for him as if to pull him close again. Jefferson easily acquiesced to his wish.

 

Jeff woke with a start. Staring out in the darkness of the room he felt his heart gallop in his chest like hooves hitting packed sand. Thud, thud-thud, thud, thud-thud. Rubbing his hand over his chest he frowned. Had he just dreamed about kissing Percy Whale? Glancing at the clock on the VCR he saw it was just an hour since he’d fallen asleep. Around him the debris and rubbish of the movie night was spread. Grabbing the glass of now lukewarm soda Jefferson drank in deep gulps. Setting the glass back down he noted his hand was shaking, his limbs weak as if he’d been running. Sitting up, he ran a hand through his hair, rubbed his eyes. Getting up he slightly adjusted his jeans, heading out of the room. Maybe it wasn’t so strange he’d dreamt it, they’d been talking about kissing earlier in the evening, Percy admitting he’d never kissed anyone. A strange sensation had punched through him when he heard it, like his blood travelling in a wave through his veins from his heart. No one had kissed Percy Whale. His lips would part one day for someone in the very first invitation, someone would claim the very first sigh of pleasure from them, swallow it and keep it forever inside of them. He wondered who that man would be. Would he know what he’d taken, the gift he’d been given? He better, Jefferson thought as he went into his bedroom. His friend deserved the best. Pulling his shirt over his head and stepping out of his jeans and socks he left them on the floor, falling on to his bed.

 

o.O.o

 

When he woke Jefferson did what he did most mornings. Pulling on the closest thing within reach he padded over the floor as the automatic blinds rose with a whirr. Passing the counter he picked up the coffee his automatically programmed machine had made and pushed the door to the rooftop terrace open. The air was freezing and damp, the mist shrouding the grounds and obstructing the normally stunning view. Walking over to the railing he put the cup down and shook the first cigarette of the day from the pack. Bringing it to life under the flame of the lighter he inhaled deeply and breathed smoke out to join the fog hovering around him. Narrowing his eyes he tried to see further but he could only vaguely make out the mansard roof of the East wing. Taking a sip of coffee he stood, for once enjoying the silence. A woodpecker was tapping away in the woods behind the house and water was dripping somewhere on the roof.

 

Halfway through the cigarette something halted his hand when he brought it to his lips. Looking down on it he frowned. After a minute’s consideration he tossed it over the railing, turned away. Bringing the half drunk cup of coffee he ventured back inside, dropping the almost full pack of cigarettes in the bin as he passed it.

 

Showered and changed, the coffee finished and his car keys in hand he steered downstairs. Finding another pack of cigarettes in the pocket of the jacket he weighed it in his hand for a moment before disposing of it in the kitchen bin. With the fingers of his left hand drumming on his thigh he searched the cupboards with the other. For what he wasn’t entirely sure.

In the back of one of the shelves he found a wrinkled plastic bag. Recognising it he pulled it out and dove into it, finding a pack of strawberry laces. Pulling one of the pink strings from the pack Jefferson smiled to himself before biting off a chunk. It was the leftovers from Halloween. 

 

Usually he would have held a big party on the 31st but this year he’d been cordially invited by Byron to go trick or treating. And by invited By had meant he needed villains to herd around as Batman. Percy had been chosen to pose as Mr Freeze and Jeff had been ordered to dress as Jervis Tetch - the Mad Hatter. So he’d arrived at the Whales’ dressed in a three piece suit, silver cravat and a light blue top hat. Percy had been grumbling that all Jeff had to do was wear a suit while his mom put the finishing stitches in the silver overalls he wore. Already pale he was even whiter in the stage make up and his hair had been a shock of tangles. He’d looked like he’d put his fingers in an electrical socket. Byron had been racing around like a pinball in a machine, excitement humming off him as he made the short cloak stand out behind him with his hands. Behind the black, pointy eared mask and his glasses his eyes had been bright. It was that look that had in an instant explained why Percy was giving up a night of studying, why he acquiesced to wearing an admittedly ridiculous outfit and why he (barely) complained about being far out of his usual comfort zone of hiding discreetly in the back. This was By’s night and Percy would do anything for his brother.

 

It had made him feel like something warm and heavy was sitting on his chest. He had never had that. He’d never had someone who would give up anything for him. His mother had died long before he would be able to remember her and his father hadn’t done anything for him personally that he could pay someone else to do. With no siblings and ever changing nannies due to his father’s impossible demands there had never been anyone who had cared enough for him to do something they hated just because they loved him.

 

By had turned to him and had in his customary way of few words, noises and half sentences conveyed they would get more candy than he could dream of. His brown eyes were alight with a sparkle that only sweets could light in the soul of a child. Jefferson had smiled and thought to himself that he may not have someone in his family who cared for him like Percy cared for Byron but he could be that to someone. He could be another brother to By, one that made sure that light in his eyes stayed alive.

 

Herding Byron around the houses on the block he had had a surprisingly good time. He and Percy hung back as By rung the doorbell and almost hopped from foot to foot in excitement. They’d only taken him to the houses closest by where everyone knew him and didn’t find it strange that a six foot tall man dressed as Batman rang on their door to trick or treat. Children dressed as fairies, astronauts, cowboys, superheroes, princesses and his personal favorites, the twins dressed as Tweedledee and Tweedledum, milled around them. A smell of sweets and burning wax hung in the air and with all doors being more or less constantly open the street was a little warmer than the temperature outside. A sense of excitement and expectation carried from the many children’s voices and the rustle of cumbersome costumes. You could tell this was something that only happened once a year. Jefferson felt a twinge of nostalgia at being thrilled at the idea of eating pounds of sweets and having your bedtime postponed.

 

When they had gotten back to the house Byron had insisted on dividing up the haul and sat at the table, painstakingly pushing one piece of candy into his pile, then one to Percy and one to Jefferson before starting over. No amount of cajoling could convince him the sweets were all his. 

 

The bag in the cupboard was his share of of the Halloween goodies.

 

Still in a good mood from thinking of the evening he chewed the sweet and unlocked the car. He had a feeling it would be a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohohohoh, we're getting somewhere! I hope you enjoyed the little touches of starting to earn the rating - and the rest of it, of course! Thank you so much to everyone who's left me kudos and especially if you took the time to leave a comment. It really makes my day so thanks, all!


	11. Chapter 11

He wasn’t entirely sure how Ruby had managed to convince him but after school Percy found himself once more at the mall. Though this time he was thankfully spared any of the shops. Belle was picking up a new book that had just come in to the bookshop and Ruby had readily volunteered to drive if they stayed in the food court for a milkshake after. Then, innocently standing by, he’d been dragged along as well.

 

Though, he had to admit, it wasn’t much of a hardship. Belle and Ruby were fun and he enjoyed listening to them. Ruby spoke quickly, impatiently, like she couldn’t wait to finish a sentence to start a new one, gesturing widely and usually with a joke in the corner of her mouth. Belle spoke slower, her accent soft and her words more considered. Still, they seemed to match each other well even though they were so different. Especially if you compared their plans. The topic of next year had come up and Ruby had dived into it headfirst.

 

“...out of here. Just take my car, my savings, wave goodbye to the Diner and leave Storybrooke.”

 

Belle sipped her milkshake and smiled, eyes alight with the romance at the thought of adventure.

 

“What are you going to do once you’re outside town, then?” she asked.

 

“No idea.” Ruby laughed and let her eyes travel over the other customers in the food court. “See things. Live them. Take any road I fancy and see where it leads.”

 

“Is your grandmother okay with that?” Percy asked gently.

 

Ruby’s face fell a little, a glum look passing over it.

 

“No, she’s not. She keeps going on and on about the Diner. Like she wants me to wait tables for the rest of my life in this dead end town.”

 

Belle reached over the table, put her hand on top of her friend’s.

 

“I’m sure she doesn’t want that for you, she just has a hard time letting you go.”

 

Picking up the cue from Belle, Percy joined in.

 

“I think so too. My mum is proud I’m going to university but I think she not so secretly would prefer if I stayed at home, got a normal job and helped out.” At the thought, guilt twisted in his stomach like greased ropes tightening. His father had to work to feed them, his mum had to stay home to be with Byron and he knew being in the house took at least a little of the pressure of them. The thought that once he was a finished doctor he would be able to support them all for life was of little comfort knowing the years it would take him to get there they’d be on their own. Even if he got the Masterson grant he’d need to work to scrape by, there wouldn’t be enough to send anything home. He’d be too far away to be any real help with By.

 

But it was his dream.

 

The ropes twisted the other way. He didn’t know how many times he’d been over this in his head, how often he’d reasoned with himself and reached the same conclusion. He had to go. As an MD he’d be able to provide security for a lifetime for them. He just had to dull his conscience for a few years, stifle the guilt and block his ears to the voice in his head telling him it was selfish to pin his hopes on a possibility so far in the future.

 

“..okay, Percy?”

 

Ruby’s concerned voice filtered into his mind. Pulled from the grinding maelstrom the thought of leaving his family always opened under his feet, black, cold guilt swirling in a vortex ready to swallow him whole, he shook his head, tried to forge his features into a smile.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

 

“Are you sure? There’s a little black cloud hovering over your head, raining all over the table.”

 

He chuckled and fiddled with some loose change lying on the table. “Sounds about right. It’s nothing, guys. I just...don’t have the option to set off down the road and forget Storybrooke.”

 

Belle placed her free hand on his, empathy shining from her blue eyes.

 

“I know how you feel. I don’t know how my father is going to manage when I’m away at university. He needs my help. But to my thinking, this way I’ll be able to help him more when I’m done. I’ll have a good job, more security. I can support him better this way.”

 

Grateful, he felt his shoulders relax. Belle had come to the same conclusion as him. Though it hurt, this was the best way to help their families.

 

“You guys. You are just too sweet for your own good. I’m getting you both refills, because you earned it,” Ruby joked, her voice a tiny bit thicker than usual. “Not because I have to get away from this table before you ruin my mascara with all your selflessness.”

 

They watched the brunette walk off to the counter.

 

“She’s pretending she’s not but Ruby’s torn.” Belle kept her eyes on her friend, the darker girl joking with the cashier and tossing her hair so his face reddened heavily under the pimples. They couldn’t see from here but Percy was sure his adam’s apple was bobbing nervously and his palms were sweating. “Her grandmother is older than she likes to admit, she won’t be able to run the Diner forever and Ruby knows it. She feels her time is running out and though she hates being trapped there, she loves the Diner. To lose it would be like losing her home. So she’s panicking to get away before it’s too late, to see things, experience them because she knows one day soon there’ll come a time when she won’t be able to leave it again.”

 

“That has to be hard.”

 

“It is. It’s why she’s always at odds with her granny. Ruby hates constraints, struggles against them and every time she breaks out of one, her grandmother, her conscience or the Diner puts another one on. She feels she’s being bridled and led and there’s nothing she hates more.”

 

Percy nodded. From what he knew of Ruby that made complete sense. He knew her as a sweet, considerate girl but hearing her with her grandmother you were hardly able to tell it was the same person. Old fights bled into new ones, the invisible ties between them not letting either move to recuperate. That was bound to feed some bad blood.

 

“It would be good for her if she did get away.”

 

Belle nodded in agreement.

 

“It would.”

 

Ruby returned with the three shakes and sat down, flicking her hair over her shoulder in a habitual move.

 

“Can we talk about something more fun now?”

 

o.O.o

 

Jefferson hung back while the rest of the baseball team went to shower. The night was freezing and his breaths puffed out in white clouds in front of him, rising toward the night sky. But he wasn’t feeling the cold. Practice had been gruelling and he felt a satisfying burn in his leg muscles. Being back on the team was good and he enjoyed going to bed tired again, liked feeling his muscles strain when he ran, his breaths burning in his lungs. The excess, nervous energy that had plagued him was disappearing. Pulling the cap that he wore more to keep his head warm than to shield his eyes from the sun down by the bill he walked up to the batter’s box, bat in hand. He was going to use the machine for pitching (one of his father’s donations to the school to make him look involved as a parent though he came to no PTA meetings and always spoke to teachers over the phone and not in person) but a whistle halted him. Turning he spotted Neal ambling over. The other boy dropped his cigarette and pushed the netted door to the field open.

 

“Need someone to pitch?”

 

“That’s a fancy name for what you do, Gold. But sure.” His friend grinned, not insulted in the slightest. He’d been on the team until two years ago when he’d decided he liked music better and had turned his jersey in.

 

“Big words for someone who was kicked off the team, Madden.” 

 

Grinning at the familiarity of some good old fashioned dirt slinging he leaned on the bat while Neal dropped his jacket, picked up a net bag of balls and headed to the pitcher’s mound. The other boy chose a ball, threw it in the air to weigh it and get a feel for it while Jefferson raised the bat. Nodding, Neal then sent it flying. Hitting it he knew it was poor and stayed put. Adjusting his cap he nodded again and Neal pitched. He managed to hit it with a satisfying thwack, the crack of impact travelling up his arms and the full momentum of his turn sending the ball rocketing the other way. In a move so ingrained he didn’t have to order his brain to do it he set off. It was the moment he lived for in this game. When you heard the sound of a good hit, like a crack of a whip through the air and your feet flew. Losing contact with the ground, adrenaline and competition pushing you faster than any practice run or yelling trainer could manage. Stopping after first base as it was just the two of them, he skidded over the ground. His heart pounded and he grinned at Neal.

 

“You’re still fast as hell.”

 

“I better be. I’m back in the first string. Left field.”

 

“That’s awesome, Jeff.”

 

He wiped his brow with his sleeve and headed back to the batter’s box.

 

“It will be.” He laughed and raised the bat again. “And all because I got Percy Whale to tutor me.”

 

Neal pitched and he missed, kicking the offending ball back to his friend.

 

“That let you back on the team, but Percy didn’t make you good enough for first string. That was you.”

 

He hit and set off again, racing against the beating of his heart. Skating to a halt he turned on the spot.

 

“Nah, I think that’s more my dad’s doing.” He leaned on his knees to try to catch his breath. “I picture his face on the ball and hit it for all I’m worth. Then I run to escape him coming after me with a lawsuit.”

 

Neal didn’t laugh, just scrutinised the ball in his hand while Jefferson returned to the box.

 

“He’s just as usual then? Not better now that your GPA isn’t giving him a migraine anymore?”

 

“If anything he seems to care less.” Jeff swung the bat a few times. “He seems to have his secretary remind him to make a duty visit once a month - usually for about an hour - and I think he pays the cleaners to report on me but other than that I don’t hear from him.”

 

“That sucks.” Neal raised his arm to throw. “He sucks,” he corrected himself.

 

“He does. But at least he’s not coming around pretending checking in every month is normal family living anymore. I hate when he pretends to care more than being ignored.”

 

His friend pitched and he hit again, racing down to first base, a slight edge of temper giving him a boost.

 

“Besides,” he said, puffing slightly. “Now I get to borrow Percy’s family. It’s cool.” He strolled back to the box. “His mom is great, she wears an apron and makes pancakes and just wants to feed you all the time. His dad is nothing like Percy, he wears flannel shirts and works with his hands and he looks at him like he doesn’t understand how he could have produced a kid like Percy. Byron, his brother, is really cool. He loves Batman and toy cars.”

 

Neal bent slowly to get the next ball out. Crouched on the mound he looked up, his dark eyes searching for his in the dusk of the pitch.

 

“Jeff…” He pulled the ball from the bag, turned it over in his hands. “Is that why you’re friends with Percy? I know you always wanted that, a mom who’s there, brothers and sisters. Is that why you’re friends now?”

 

Jefferson lowered the bat, leaning the tip on the ground.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, you didn’t mention Percy in that description, just his family. He’s not the brother in that picture. I’m just wondering if he’s there at all then.”

 

Jeff frowned. “Of course he’s part of his family. I didn’t mention him because I was describing his family, not him. And I’m not sure I like the rest of what you’re saying. Why would I be friends with Percy for some sort of...gain, to me?”

 

Neal stayed crouched, squeezing the ball now. “You wouldn’t knowingly. Just...you really want a family, Jeff, and maybe you’ve chosen his to fill the gap. You and Percy have next to nothing in common, you didn’t even know he was in our class until a few months ago and now you spend every free moment at his house. I like Percy but I’m worried he’s muddled in your brain. He’s maybe the...springboard to what you’re really after.”

 

Anger rose in him like acid, burning all the keener for who was bringing it out.

 

“What is with everyone thinking I’m after something from Percy? Even he thinks I have some ulterior motive or like the shine of novelty or whatever. Why can’t I like him, Neal? Because I don’t read a lot of books, or I’m not a mathlete? You’re friends with Belle but I don’t remember seeing you heading to the library every day with a stack of tomes under your arm.” He dropped the bat, walked closer.

 

Neal got up, his arms hanging limply at his sides.

 

“I don’t have a lot of fancy words to use like he does but I like Percy. He’s one of the best people I’ve ever met. He makes me laugh. We don’t have a lot in common but that only means we have more to talk about. We like the same music, I like his taste in movies, we both damn love pancakes if you have to have shared interests.”

 

Advancing so he was now inches from his friend, temper spit in his blood like sparks on an anvil.

 

“He looks at me and he sees something worthwhile, someone he’s willing to invest his time in, believe in. No one’s looked at me like that before. No one. What’s wrong with me liking how he looks at me? What’s wrong with us being friends though I’m not a clone of him?”

 

Neal held up his hands, palms out in the universal gesture for “I give”.

 

“Easy, easy.” He took a step back, warmth waking in his eyes again. “That’s all I wanted to know.”

 

“The hell?”

 

Neal reached out to touch his shoulder and Jeff shrugged it off. Taking the blunt meaning he withdrew it.

 

“I just wanted to be sure, Jeff. I like Percy and I can see he likes you so I had to be sure he’s not a novelty, Jefferson. You can be insulted by that but we’re not in your head, we don’t know if he’s different to Holly Pearson, Thomas Keene or Kev Murdoch or any of the other people you’ve been best of friends with for a month before they lost their appeal and you forgot them. I know you don’t do it on purpose and you would do anything for your friends but there’s a difference in your mind between who you introduce to us as a friend and who actually is one to you. Percy hasn’t had a lot of friends, I don’t think he could handle being dropped if you were to decide he was no longer fun.”

 

The temper subsided slightly but the acid in his veins still burned, though now more in shame. He’d forgotten all of the people Neal had mentioned but they had once been his friends. Though the parting had been mutual rather than him “dropping” anyone, he had to admit there was some truth to the statement that he found new things interesting but they quickly lost their appeal.

 

“Percy’s different,” he said quietly and turned. 

 

Leaving the field he picked up the bat and headed into the changing rooms. By the time he’d gotten out of a steaming shower Neal had collected all the balls and was sitting on one of the benches, smoking. The battery for the fire alarm laid next to him and the plastic cap hung off the ceiling. He was wearing his jacket again and was watching the smoke climb. When he spotted him he straightened.

 

“I could have found a better way to ask. I’m sorry.”

 

Jeff nodded in acceptance. Apologies came easy to neither of them so when one was offered they’d always accepted.

 

“Okay.”

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

o.O.o

 

The Diner crowd was smaller than usual this afternoon as MM was chaperoning an event for the girls scouts and had pulled David with her. Emma and Neal were out somewhere and Ruby was working, leaving Percy, Archie and Belle at the table this afternoon. By tacit agreement they were studying and every time Ruby came by she mock sighed.

 

When Jefferson entered she exclaimed jokingly, “Thank God, someone who’s not here to study!”

 

Jefferson grinned and held up his History book. “Sorry to disappoint you, sweetheart. I have to. Nut believe me, I won’t enjoy it like these people.” He plopped down next to Percy and pulled a strawberry lace from his pocket, biting off the edge. Filling the coffee cup in front of him Ruby’s nose twitched.

 

“Did you stop smoking?” She pulled his arm off the table and sniffed the sleeve. “You never smell of smoke anymore and you’re always eating those sweets.”

 

“Stop sniffing me, you freak,” Jefferson laughed and pulled his arm away. “And yeah, I’m cutting down.” 

When he moved in the seat Percy caught the scent of the candy and realized like Ruby had it had been a while since he’d smelled smoke on Jefferson.

 

“Why? Are you a health nut now?”

 

“No,” he chuckled and opened his textbook. Running his hand through his hair he seemed uncomfortable for a moment, like he was embarrassed by whatever had prompted the move. “I just...The coach asked me to. Since I’m first string now I have to step up my game, run better.”

 

“But you smoked when you were on the team before, and you were first string then too, weren’t you?”

 

“That was before I’d been kicked off. I have to watch myself, I’m still kinda on probation.”

 

Ruby shrugged, and her attention was caught by someone wanting to pay. Putting on her best, “tips are mandatory” smile she steered off. With an unusual zeal Jefferson turned his focus to the history book and Percy wondered why on earth talking about why he cut down his smoking was such an uncomfortable topic for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's call this chapter something of a calm before the storm...stay tuned for the next one!


	12. Chapter 12

On Thanksgiving Jefferson set himself up in the den with a six pack, chips, strawberry laces and the TV. He was going to watch the game, even though he really didn’t care overly much about football, drink his beer and hopefully be asleep by six in the evening, making the day pass. All his friends were with their families, with the exception of Ruby who was working to feed those not enthusiastic enough to make their own turkey. That left him to his own devices and knowing he’d be bored no matter what he did he opted to do it in comfort.

 

He’d just turned the TV on when the phone rang. Thinking it might be Neal who’d already fought with his dad and wanted to blow off steam, he picked up. On the other end of the line was Percy, and in greeting he whispered,

 

“Where are you?”

 

Amused, Jefferson glanced around. “Home. Which might be obvious since I picked up the phone.”

 

“What? Why aren’t you on your way?” Percy hissed and Jeff tried to remember if there was any plan involving Percy that had been made while he was only paying moderate attention. He couldn’t think of one.

 

“On my way where, Percy?”

 

“Here! Mom has been asking for you since before noon and I’m running out of excuses.”

 

Jeff frowned and turned, the phone cradled on his shoulder so he could open the beer.

 

“Why?”

“Since you’re meant to be here, of course, you moron. Are you on your way or not?”

 

Carefully Jeff put the beer down and held the phone properly in case he’d misheard.

 

“I...didn’t know I was invited.”

 

“Invited?”

 

“Well, it’s a family holiday.”

 

“Yes, why would you have to be invited to a family holiday? Get over here and stop being so weird. Oh, and if you have some, bring cranberry sauce.”

 

In the background he heard Mrs Whale ask if it was Jefferson on the phone and Percy reply, head turned from the receiver that it was and he was on his way.

 

“I’ll be there in twenty.” Slamming the phone down he raced up to his room, his heart beating jubilantly in his chest. He hadn’t been invited, not because he wasn’t family, but because he was. Grinning from ear to ear he binned the plan of drinking and falling asleep on the couch. Hurriedly he pulled off the t-shirt he was wearing and pulled on a shirt, shrugged on a jacket. In concession to Mrs W’s efforts he even grabbed a rarely used tie. Toeing out of his sneakers he pulled on loafers and ran a hand through his hair. With a splash of aftershave and a quick look in the mirror he then slammed the door and jogged downstairs. In the kitchen he found the Tupperware box for one containing a turkey dinner and grimaced at the pathetic attempt of his father's to ask the chef to make him a Thanksgiving dinner to have by himself. Tossing it, but keeping the little jar of sauce he put it in his pocket along with his car keys. In the hall he grabbed the flower arrangement from the hall table, divided it in half to make it less excessive and tossed it in the back of the car before he drove off.

 

Reaching Percy’s he pulled up and was out of the car in the same move. Grabbing the flowers he jogged up the stairs and knocked quickly before entering. The air inside smelled divinely of cooking spices and meat. Some old fashioned music was playing from the living room and Mrs W was singing along in a slightly shaky soprano in the kitchen. Frankie came running down the hall, the carpet bunching under eager paws as he slid on it. Kneeling he gave the mutt a rub taking care to keep the flowers from the furiously wagging tail. Just as he stood up he was almost toppled over by By crashing into him in his version of a hug. The flowers didn’t stand a chance.

 

“Jey!” He stepped back, peered at him through his thick glasses. “By big, By tie!” He pointed to the clip on tie in his collar.

 

“You are. You look very handsome.”

 

“Jey ‘nsome,” Byron echoed and pointed to his tie.

 

“Thanks, By. We do look rather smashing.”

 

“Smash!” Byron laughed and headed into the living room just as Percy entered the hall. He was dressed in a shirt and sport coat Ruby had clearly chosen for him but the tie was one of his old ones, in discreet blue and gray to go with the gray jacket.

 

“Are you wearing a tie?” was his friend’s greeting.

 

“I am.” He ran a hand over it, felt that the previously perfect knot was now askew.

 

“I didn’t know you knew how to tie one.”

 

“There are some functions even I can’t get out of and more often than not they include one of these torture devices.”

 

Percy smiled and shook his head, closing some of the distance.

 

“You’re right, you know. Every time I think I have you figured out, there’s something else that doesn’t make any sense. You’re like a trompe l'oeil painting, you’re convinced of what you see and then something shifts and you think you’re looking at something completely different. Your brain tries to comprehend it and put it into the two dimensions a painting should be but it can’t help perceiving it as three.”

 

“I think there’s a compliment hidden in there somewhere?”

 

Percy smiled, “Of course there is. Who wouldn’t want to be more lifelike than life itself?” He reached out and straightened Jeff’s tie. Stepping closer, he bent his head over the task and Jefferson felt his fingertips brush over the hollow of his throat. He was so close he could see Percy’s pulse beat just over his collar, under the soft, thin skin there. His hair curled over it and Jeff’s fingers itched to brush it back. Off balance, he spoke to distract himself.

 

“Are you wearing aftershave?”

 

Percy’s head snapped up, slight panic in his eyes.

 

“It’s too much, isn’t it? I knew it was. I’ve never put it on but Ruby told me to buy it and it’s just sitting there and I thought I’d try but I don’t know how much to-”

 

“Hey, not what I meant. It’s good.” He put a hand to Percy’s shoulder, sought his eyes. “Not too much. It smells nice.” Realizing they were inches apart, his hand on his shoulder and Percy’s hands on his chest any further encouraging words died in his throat. It would take so little, he thought disconnectedly, to turn this into a kiss. A tilt of the head, a breath and they would be kissing. A jolt passed through him at the thought like the beat of bass when you listened to loud music, the tremor carrying from the soles of his feet to reverberate in his chest.

 

Letting go of Percy’s shoulder he stepped back, adjusting his tie slightly. Then with a reassuring smile like there had been no moment and he had just finished his sentence about the aftershave he went past, into the kitchen.

 

Mrs Whale turned from the stove, her white apron tied over her best dress of slightly tired black velvet. Her soft hair was pulled back with pins but some curls were escaping in the heat of the kitchen. When she saw the slightly mushed flowers her hands flew to her mouth.

 

“Oh, Jefferson, you shouldn’t have.”

 

“Of course I should, Mrs W, it’s the least I can do when you’re preparing such a feast.”

 

She accepted the flowers, putting a warm, dry hand to his cheek. The skin was rough from cleaning products and cooking but smelled of roses and talcum powder. He knew the memory of it, the scent, the feel of her hand on his cheek, would live in his memory.

 

“You’re a good boy, Jefferson.” Her eyes were slightly misty and he cleared his throat. They were just plants, not a declaration of undying love.

 

“Ah...Do you need help with anything?”

 

“No, you go watch the game with the boys. See if you can get Percy to sit down with his father.”

 

In the den the two generations of the Whale family were sitting around the TV. Mr Whale was sitting in his armchair, Byron was on the floor playing with his faithful toy cars. On the couch was Percy and by his feet Frankie had rolled up. Joining the other boy on the couch Percy leaned over to whisper they would only have to put up with the football until Byron making noise would eventually drive his father off to listen to the game on the radio in the garage and they could switch the channel.

 

“I like football all right.”

 

“Not so loud! If my dad hears you saying it’s “all right” and not a religion he might ban you from the house.”

 

“Did I say all right? I meant it’s my passion.”

 

“That’s better. You know it’s-” he was interrupted by a strange noise from Byron who fell forward, the pile of toy cars scattering under him. Before Jefferson could react Percy was up, moving around the table.

 

“Dad!” His father, who’d been too involved in the game to notice looked away from the screen, the crease of irritation on his brow transforming to pain when he saw his oldest on the floor. Getting up he called gently for his wife.

 

“Jefferson, pass me the pillow. Jefferson!” 

 

Jeff was transfixed as Byron’s body started flailing and contorting in painful movements, his face grimacing uncontrollably. Hearing Percy as if from at the end of a tunnel he handed him the pillow. The blond boy pushed it under By’s thrashing head, clearing a few toy cars. Seeing Mr Whale pushing the coffee table he woke from his stupor and helped. Clearing furniture and clutter out of the way he watched Percy sitting, pale but calm, on the floor. Out of By’s reach but close enough to speak to him softly and every once in a while checking his watch. Seeing something that made him tense he looked up to his mom who stood in the doorway clutching the phone receiver to her chest. Nodding to her she dialled and he heard three buttons beep in sequence before she raised it to her ear. Like it wasn’t actually happening he heard her ask for an ambulance for her son. When she hung up he could hear cheering from the TV, pained moans from Byron and Percy’s voice still murmuring softly. By’s face contorted and his spine bent, lifting him off the floor and Jefferson’s heart shrank in sympathy. He had no idea what was happening except there had been such a practiced efficiency to the Whale family’s reaction it couldn’t be the first time.

 

After what felt like years when all he could do was stare helplessly from where he stood by the wall the spasming eased and finally stopped. Percy and his father moved to roll Byron to his side, their hands gentle and sure. When the paramedics entered he wanted to scream at them, demanding to know what had taken them so long. They kneeled by Byron and spoke quietly with Percy before lifting his brother on to the stretcher and wheeling him outside. Mrs Whale followed, with Mr Whale in tow. The blonde boy rose slowly, wobbling slightly.

 

“Percy, what’s happening? Where are they taking By? Is he going to be okay?”

 

The other boy looked up, tiredness beyond his years painted over his face.

 

“They’re taking him to Grimm Memorial. I’ll go with Mom and Dad, you can go home. It’s okay.”

 

“Are you insane? I’m going to the hospital. You can come in my car if you want, but in any case I’m going.”

 

“Okay. Okay.” He straightened, rubbed his hands over his eyes. “I should probably drive.”

 

About to protest Jeff felt his hands were shaking by his sides and wordlessly he held out the keys. In the car Percy buckled in and checked his mirrors like he was about to take his test and Jefferson wanted to shout at him to hurry. Backing out of the drive he took a left and drove competently down the street, his movements measured and calm.

 

“Byron had a seizure. He gets them sometimes, it’s a side effect of the TBI.” Percy explained and glanced in the rearview mirror before turning. “Sometimes they’re short and he just needs to rest afterwards but if they’re longer - current doctor’s orders longer than five minutes - we have to get him to a hospital. He needs to be checked out and cleared before he can come home again.”

 

“But he’ll be okay?”

 

“We...we never really know. It’s been so long since the injury now the doctors don’t expect him to get better than he is. We can only hope he doesn’t get worse.”

 

Panic wanted to break through, run amok through his bloodstream and scream.

 

“How are you so calm about this?”

 

“Because that’s what’s best for Byron.” With that Percy pulled into the parking lot, parked neatly in the assigned space, put on the parking break and got out of the car, heading for the hospital with purposeful steps. Following, Jefferson wondered if the blond boy knew he was behaving like a doctor already.

 

Finding the right place and repetitively getting told they had to wait and someone would be out soon, they sat on two hard plastic chairs and waited. People passed to and fro, the doctors and nurses with purposeful steps and closed faces, the visitors either studies in joy or despair. A TV was on in the corner showing a Spanish soap opera on a screen so old all colors were pastels. Thumbed magazines showing famous faces that would only ever be allowed to wrinkle on paper grinned toothily from the front pages. The floor smelled of hardwearing rubber and somewhere tasteless food was spreading a bland, moist odour. All colors seemed tinted green from the lights reflecting off the linoleum floor. Jefferson decided it was his least favorite place in the world, even beating his father’s study for the dubious honor.

 

Across the hall Mrs Whale entered and he shot up, Percy close behind. Rushing forward she held out her arms, her eyes moist. She was still holding Byron’s clip on tie that they had to have taken off him.

 

“He’s okay. He’ll be okay,” she whispered and Percy hugged her as she drew deep, shuddering breaths. Pulling apart, she wiped her eyes. “We’re staying with him, but you’ll be allowed to see him tomorrow. You’ll come too, won’t you, Jefferson?”

 

“Of course I will.” She reached out to touch both their cheeks before handing the tie to Percy, closing his hands over it and leaving through the doors again.

 

Percy stood, still and pale, watching her. Then he turned to him, his eyes serious.

 

“I’m just going to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” He walked down the hall and took a right. Jefferson felt relief sink through him like balm on a burn. By was okay. He was okay. Stuffing his hands in his pockets he breathed deep. Tonight had to have been one of the worst nights of his life. It had started out as one of the best and careened out of control into nightmarish. Jefferson didn’t know how long it would be before he could close his eyes without seeing Byron’s painfully contorted limbs and tortured grimacing face but at least for now it was over.

 

Glancing at the clock above the nurses’ station he noted Percy had been gone a while. Thinking he might have thought they were meeting by the car he went in search of the bathroom before he’d head downstairs and check the car. Taking the turn he’d seen the other boy take he spotted Percy right away. He stood, hand with By’s tie in it braced against the wall, facing it and crying like his heart was about to break. Ashamed he hadn’t expected the cool, collected boy to feel like this Jefferson glanced down the hall. If he left Percy wouldn’t know he’d seen him, would get to keep his pride and that wall he built around himself.

 

Making up his mind Jeff closed the distance between them instead, reached for the other boy. Percy looked up, his eyes red rimmed, lashes spiky and stuck together. The blue that normally reflected light like the sea, hiding what was beneath the surface lay open and dark depths of despair met his gaze. His throat slammed shut, his heart clenching involuntarily in a painful spasm. He couldn’t look like that. Percy was his friend and Jefferson would do anything to keep that look from his eyes. Pulling him close in an embrace he felt Percy resist for a moment before he relaxed, his forehead coming to rest on Jeff’s shoulder. Wrapping his arms tighter around him he hugged him close. Percy’s frame shook with sobs, the shoulder of his jacket soon soaked. After a minute he felt the other boy’s arms wrap around him, gripping the back of his jacket desperately.

 

“It’s okay. He’ll be okay,” was all Jefferson could think to say, over and over, his speech muffled slightly by Percy’s jacket.

 

“He won’t. He’ll never be okay, Jefferson.” Percy’s voice was thick, shuddered between sobs. “It’s...worse than I told you that day. By is...living on borrowed time.” He tried to breathe, the words drawn out like he had to force them past his lips. “He could have a clot at any time. It’ like he...like he’s got a bomb inside him and one day we...we won’t get to bring him home from the hospital.”

 

Jeff froze, his arms tightening around the other boy.

 

“When you say it’s likely…”

 

“The doctors are surprised he’s still alive. Every time we’re here they tell us, like it would help to be prepared for the worst. You can’t prepare for the worst, that’s why it’s called the worst! It’s like we’re living balanced on a tightrope and being told you have to be prepared to fall and get crushed on sharp rocks underneath. It’s no help, you’re still terrified of falling and I...there’s nothing I can do to fix it.” The words dissolved into spasming sobs again and Jeff felt his eyes burn. He couldn’t think of anything to say except “I’m sorry” and he wouldn’t let that platitude be his response to the raw pain that was radiating off Percy. Instead he just pressed him closer, his hand on the back of the other boy’s head like he could absorb some of the pain into his body instead.

 

He didn’t know for how long they stood there, the cold fluorescent light beating down over them but when the sobs died away he could feel Percy trying to rebuild his wall, dragging it brick by brick, tensing in his hold. Then he seemed to lose the energy for it and just slumped.

 

“Can we go? I want to just go,” he mumbled against Jefferson’s shoulder.

 

“Yeah. I’ll drive you back.”

 

“I don’t want to go back there. Can we go to your place?”

 

Nodding, Jefferson released his hold and stepped back. The look on Percy’s face scared him. He looked...defeated.

 

During the drive back they were both quiet. Entering the house Jefferson didn’t flick on any of the stereos as was his habit. Instead he just lead Percy into the living room and without turning on any lights grabbed one of the decanters of Scotch on the drink trolley. He hoped it was expensive. Setting down two crystal tumblers he filled them generously and joined Percy where he was sitting on the floor. He tossed his back before refilling. The other boy held his glass in a loosely curled hand.

 

“Will it make me feel better?”

“No,” Jefferson answered honestly. “It’ll make you feel numb.”

 

Percy sipped and grimaced, then sipped again. His tense shoulders relaxed slightly and he looked around.

 

“Why are we in here?”

 

Jeff shrugged, “It’s the closest room to the door with booze.” He looked around too. “And I hate it.” He shrugged. “It seemed fitting.”

 

A humourless chuckle escaped Percy. “That does seem fitting.” He looked away for a moment. “Are you...Do you think I should have told you before?” He was sitting cross legged, his shoulders hunched and his hands holding the glass resting on his ankles. He looked small and vulnerable in a way he hadn’t even after Sidney Glass had beaten him up. Jefferson didn’t like it at all.

 

“No.” He shifted, searched for words that wouldn’t come easily. “It’s not...It’s...I don’t know how you handle it.” Jefferson pinched his hand over his eyes to clear his view.

 

“Clearly,” Percy gestured to himself, “I don’t.”

 

“You do. You carry that weight everyday. You see Byron play and laugh and you...know.”

 

“I see him when he’s in pain and when he suffers and I wonder…” He met his eyes again. “If he’s really happy.”

 

“Of course he is. He’s a happy kid.”

 

“Because he doesn’t know better. He doesn’t understand what he’s missing and…” Percy trailed off and Jefferson bent so he could meet his gaze again.

 

“Hey, didn’t you just define happiness? He knows nothing but it.”

 

“Some days.”

 

“You can only do what you’re already doing, Percy. You make your brother happy.”

 

“I hope that I do. Because one day I...I won’t be able to anymore.”

 

“It’s...It’s not easy and I can’t tell you how to deal but...don’t take the heartache out in advance, Percy. You said the doctors think it’s a miracle already. Each day you get has to be a miracle then.”

 

“That’s...true. Normally I can keep it at bay but days like this…”

 

“I’m not sure if it’s any help to you but I’m here for you. Anytime. Anything. You hear?”

 

“I do. It does help, Jefferson. You help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THINGS ARE HAPPENING, Y'ALL! And by THINGS I mean they actually touched, woop woop! I hope you're enjoying, thank you so much to the people who take time to comment, it is always amazing to hear that you like it :) I'll see you next time! //C.F.


	13. Chapter 13

Percy was woken up by something soft hitting him in the face. Sputtering, he sat up to see a grinning Jefferson dressed in grey sweats and beat up sneakers sitting on the armrest of the couch by his feet. Blinking in the mild morning light, the living room sharpened into focus in front of his eyes. The decanter of whisky still stood on the low coffee table, in all likelihood leaving a mark on the antique wood, and the contents were a lot lower with no help from Percy who had just had the one. But they’d sat up talking into the small hours, trying to find their way back to a semblance of normalcy and Jefferson had been drinking.

 

“Let’s go for a run.”

 

“A run?” Percy looked out the window to see a sickly white sky and mist pressing its cold fingers against the glass.

 

“Yeah, a run. Put those on.” Jefferson nodded to what he’d tossed at him and Percy saw it was sweatpants and a long sleeved t-shirt. “I checked your shoe size - we’re the same so those should fit.” He pointed to a pair of running shoes on the floor that looked a lot newer than the ones he was wearing.

 

Warming slightly to the idea Percy felt his muscles begin to itch for the exercise. The track team were off practicing over winter and he hadn’t been doing his assigned self-practice. He missed it but he’d been too busy to think about it too much.

 

“All right.” He stood up, flinging a blanket he now realized was covering him off. Jefferson must have put it on him when Percy had already fallen asleep. He hoped it hadn’t been mid-sentence. The tie, jacket and shoes had been discarded last night but he was still wearing his shirt, trousers and socks. Unbuttoning the shirt he tried to not feel self-conscious under Jefferson’s gaze. After a moment’s silence the other boy looked away, got up and began stretching, pulling his arms behind his head, energy coming off him in waves.

 

Quickly Percy pulled on the clothes before tying on the shoes. Jefferson was right, they wore the same size. Stopping his prowling like a caged animal, the other boy headed out the door. The second his feet touched the gravel drive he was off, zig sagging, bouncing off the stones lining the drive. Percy just shook his head and began walking fast to warm up. After a few minutes with Jefferson bouncing ahead like a calf let out to pasture for the first time he began jogging, starting out slow. His muscles, warm and loose began working in earnest, his heart rate increasing. Enjoying the feeling he lengthened his steps. Rid of the worst of the energy the other boy slowed down and they fell into step with each other as the lane steepened. Pleased Jefferson wasn’t the kind of person who felt he had to talk incessantly while he ran Percy took in the quiet forest around them, the cool morning air under the canopy. Their breaths huffed in the silence, steam swirling into the mist in puffs. The sweatshirt that had been cold to leave the house in now stuck to his body, sweat running down his back. Next to him Jefferson was breathing harder than Percy. The excesses at the start were catching up with him as the hill grew steeper still. With a small smile Percy challenged, speeding up. 

 

Jefferson matched, easily and with a flashed grin over his shoulder he pulled ahead. Lowering his head Percy pushed harder. In a minute they were racing up the sharp incline, the breaths burning in his throat. Jefferson was faster, and stubborn, but Percy was lighter, with longer legs and used to running for longer. In the end reaching the top of the hill was a close match but he won. Stopping, he tried to catch his breath. His legs were shaking, his heart was beating madly and the sweatshirt was soaked. Jefferson reached him and came to a halt, bending over to lean his hands on his knees. His breaths came in short bursts and the hair around his face was plastered to his skin. Looking up, he squinted at Percy.

 

“You’re pretty fast, Whale.”

 

“So are you. If you gave up baseball you could easily make the track team.”

 

Jefferson shook his head. “Too dull.”

 

“Unlike a hundred and seventy thousand innings?”

 

“I like the spurts of it. Waiting, knowing that it’s any second now and then you hear the thwack of a good hit and everything starts up in a moment.”

 

“You would like that. I like track better. Just you and your thoughts, pushing yourself harder than you thought you could.”

 

Jefferson stood and chuckled. “You would like that.” 

 

Standing up he pushed his damp hair off his forehead and managed a deep breath. “Look at that,” he nodded to the view. In front of them mountains rose to the left, blue and imposing, as if standing guard. Far off to the right you could glimpse the sea, embraced by the land in a graceful curve. And in the valley between them Storybrooke, the main street with the larger buildings, the library with it’s white clock tower easily spotted, the small houses spreading in a fan shape from it. The sky hung white and grim over it but was still breath-taking.

 

“It’s amazing,” he agreed. “I forget this is what it looks like from afar.”

 

Jefferson put his hands on his hips, his face considering. “I think it’s a bit like life. When you’re walking down Main you don’t think about this is what it looks like from here. You know the mountains are there but you never stop and look. It’s like…you’re too close to see what it’s really like. Then you come up here and you know you live in an amazing place, that you’re lucky. You can see the whole picture. Even though I sometimes hate that place and all its small town paranoia, when I see it like this, I remember I love it.”

 

“You lost the thread there. How is it like life?”

 

“Oh, sometimes you’re too close to see it for what it is. There are ugly bits, dull bits, dirty bits. But when you step back you can see that actually it’s beautiful still. Life is all those things, but it’s also beautiful.”

 

Realizing somewhat what the other boy was trying to convey he smiled.

 

“I agree.” He slanted a look over. “You know you’d get an A in English for that?”

 

Jefferson snorted. “I’m not wasting my life insights on school.”

 

At a slower pace they jogged back and Percy knew he would be feeling the effects for a few days.

 

When they got back Jefferson offered him a choice of any of the guest baths and feeling a bit weird to be showering at someone else’s house, Percy chose the one closest to the top floor. Showering quickly he got out to find the other boy had once more found clothes for him to borrow. They fit okay, despite Jefferson being broader across the shoulders. Putting on the jeans he held up the shirt. He’d have to have seen his friend wear it countless times, it was softened by age and washes, the colors faded and cuffs beginning to fray. Knowing Jefferson he hadn’t lent it to him because it was old and worn but because it was his favorite. He’d loaned him his favorite shirt. That was just Jefferson, happy to give to those closest to him, not considering the cost to himself.

 

Dressed, he headed back to Jefferson’s room. Hearing Fine Young Cannibals singing about going crazy through the door he smiled. Of course, the boy couldn’t even shower in silence. 

 

Opening the door he found his friend wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He was wet from the shower, his hair sticking to his forehead. His skin glistened with moisture over the sculpted chest and Percy stopped in his tracks. Every sane thought flew from his head like they had been pages in a book ripped out and thrown away, fluttering to the floor. Instead his head filled with the image of himself closing the distance and licking away the drop of water that was running from Jefferson’s chest down to his stomach, over the ridges and planes of muscle. He could picture how he’d hear Jefferson groan in response to his touch, his head falling back, his hands clenching at his sides. Percy’d let his hands run over every inch of perfectly toned skin, travelling lower, reaching the line of the towel where it was wrapped around his waist, tugging and…

 

Pulling himself back from the image he took a physical step back and almost tripped on Jefferson’s running gear that laid abandoned on the floor. Heat that had all centered in his lower abdomen rushed upwards to his cheeks as Jefferson stood, looking vaguely amused at what must’ve appeared like a puppet getting all its strings pulled at once. Shaking the wet hair from his eyes glittering with mirth and something Percy couldn’t place he tilted his head.

 

“You okay there?”

 

“Yes. Fine. I ah…tripped.” Trying to look anywhere but at the touchable form of the other boy, every feature making his insides scream for contact, he backed away. “I…forgot…I left the towel on the floor.” 

 

With that he whirled on his heel and left the room, slamming the door behind him as if the decisive snap of it swinging shut could turn off the sensations running through his body. 

 

It didn’t. 

 

Leaning against the wall he pushed his hands through his hair, drawing deep breaths and trying to force his mind to picture cold water and icy winds.

 

This was bad.

 

Not even Byron’s episode from last night could keep him from reacting to Jefferson in a way that both aroused and disturbed him. The hold on him the other boy had was intrinsic, primal. Undeniable. Trying to relax he felt the molten iron bands of desire loosen slightly, his muscles unclenching as he regained control.

 

Shaking his head he pushed off the wall and went down the stairs to pretend to hang up the towel he had not forgotten to tidily place on the hanger, all the while berating himself for being an idiot.

 

o.O.o

 

Jefferson hadn’t listened to Percy’s protests and had wrapped up his Nintendo and put it in the backseat of the BMW. He would have liked to buy Byron a brand new console but he knew the Whale family would never accept it if he went and bought something so extravagant. So he settled for giving By the next best thing. He also knew Neal would be thrilled as Jeff would now “have” to go out and buy the latest model to replace it.

 

Waiting for Percy to finish gathering up his clothes from the night before, he leaned against the hood of the car. The day was clearing up and the white sky from the morning was now a brilliant blue, the sun shining milkily over the house like a tired light bulb. Paled by some invisible film like all winter sunshine.

 

Digging his sunglasses out he slid them on and stuffed his hands in his pockets. From the open car door the sound of Every Breath You Take thrummed out into the chilly air and he watched his breath rising like mist only to evaporate a moment later. It reminded him he hadn’t had a cigarette in over a week. At the thought he felt the first surge for one and automatically took a bite of the now ever present strawberry laces he kept in his pocket. Chewing, the sugar dampened the call for nicotine.

 

With a sigh he swallowed and put the packet back in his pocket. Percy sure was taking his sweet time getting his stuff. Narrowing his eyes, he wondered if it was on purpose. He’d walked in on Jefferson dressing and it had been...weird. Smiling slightly, he recalled how the blond boy had stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted Jeff, his eyes widening. Amused, Jeff had watched as the other boy stood transfixed. Percy’s eyes had travelled slowly from his face, to his neck, down his chest and over his stomach before reaching the edge of the towel at his waist. The weight of his gaze had been as palpable as if he’d made the move with his fingertip, trailing a path over his skin like the water still running down his frame. The gray in Percy’s eyes darkened to mercury and Jefferson felt a tingle at his the end of his spine, a vague buzz in his head.

 

He’d shaken his head to get the hair out of his eyes, the sensation clearing from his mind like the water drops flung from his hair, and he’d smiled.

 

“You okay there?”

 

Percy’s face had reddened and he had mumbled something about leaving a towel on the floor and fled. Half amused, half uncertain Jeff had turned back to his dressing. 

 

Now, out in the winter sunlight when he had a moment to think it through he considered if Percy was taking so long because he was avoiding him. It had taken him a moment to remember his friend liked guys and putting himself in Percy’s shoes he wondered if the blond boy’s strange behaviour was a reaction similar to what Jeff himself would do if he walked in on a next to naked girl. Was Percy...embarrassed? Or perhaps more to the point, had his friend been...attracted to him?

 

Shaking his head Jeff pushed off the car. Don’t flatter yourself, Madden, he thought. Just cause he liked guys didn’t mean it had shaken him to see Jeff. Some people were peculiar about nakedness. Maybe he was just uncomfortable that he’d walked in on him. He was pretty sure Percy wouldn’t have liked it if their roles had been reversed. It had been a knee-jerk response, nothing more.

 

The siren call of a cigarette made itself known again and with a frustrated sigh Jefferson raided the last secret stash he hadn't touched, the glove compartment. Lighting it he took the first drag followed by a sigh of content. Poking in the gravel with the toe of his Converse he spotted the Nintendo in the backseat. 

 

He’d tried to be supportive and optimistic since last night but the truth was that Jeff had lived with the knowledge about Byron’s situation for one day and the pain of it was grinding through his veins like the gravel crunching under his feet, tearing and gouging. Percy had lived with the same knowledge for years. What kind of strength did that take? What resolve? He got up every morning and did his best for his brother, faced the fate hanging over Byron’s head every single day. By couldn’t know, wouldn’t understand, but Percy would. Did. Still, didn’t let an ounce of it show to his brother. To spare him.

 

Jefferson was beginning to see where the iron self-control Percy possessed came from. It had started there and bled into more and more sections of his life. The wall he had built around him may keep others at bay but the point of it was to keep himself safe, keep that control clamped in an iron fist, not only for himself, but for By. Jeff didn’t think he’d admired anyone more than he did Percy Whale in that moment

 

The door closed and Jefferson looked up from staring at the video game console. Percy was standing hesitantly on the top step. Dressed in Jeff’s clothes and his clothes from the night before in a plastic bag he stood waiting. For what, Jeff wasn’t sure.

 

“Ready to go?”

 

Percy nodded and started down the steps. Not sure why he suddenly felt guilty, Jefferson threw away the cigarette. Blew the last of the smoke behind him and waved the last of it away. Passing him, Percy conscientiously ground the burning stub out on his way, the toe of his shoe scraping against the gravel. Because of course he would. 

 

When he got closer Jeff noted his shirt wasn’t too big on Percy as he’d feared. In fact, it looked good. He’d rolled up the sleeves a few times to push them up his forearms and, as was now his new habit, the first button was undone at the collar. Knowing how soft and worn the well loved fabric was Jeff had a sudden urge to reach out and touch the shirt, feel the material over Percy’s skin. Would it feel the same as it did on him?

 

Percy was staring off to the side and Jeff realized he was blocking the passenger door and had been for a while. Turning away he crossed to the other side of the car and got in. Closing the door he turned down the music that was deafening when inside the car and let it wash over him just as the Police were replaced with Belinda Carlisle on the radio. Jeff sniffed to himself. Girl music. He knew Ruby would hit for it but she couldn’t deny she loved Leave A Light On For Me, while the guys of the group definitely did not. Though they all liked her poster.

 

Driving to the hospital they didn’t say much. He could see Percy turning his head in the corner of his eye but every time he glanced over, the other boy was looking out the window. Leaving him to it Jeff maneuvered the traffic. With a frown he overtook a brown Buick full of children and a harried looking woman. Returning to the lane ahead of the ancient station wagon he wondered if he should say something. They were friends, they should be able to laugh about this. Then again, it had been no big deal. If he brought it up, maybe that would make it a big deal?

 

Or, he’s thinking about his brother, Jeff. Percy has more important things to think about than you without a shirt. Grinding his teeth at not knowing why the silence was so uncomfortable, he refrained from bringing it up and just let the silence crowd in on them.

 

The visit went well and Jeff felt relief course through him at the sight of By showing all the signs of an impatient, cooped up child. He had to be feeling well. His eyes had widened and sparkled in pleasure when he recognised the logo on the side of the console. Unable to name what it was Jefferson still recognised the jingle from the commercial when Byron hummed it excitedly. He knew what it did and he was almost bouncing in bed at the prospect.

 

When they were about to leave Mrs Whale got up and stopped him. Speaking softly she asked him to stay with Percy while she and Mr Whale stayed at the hospital with Byron. Next to him his friend protested he was more than capable of taking care of himself. Reaching for her son the older woman touched his cheek.

 

“I know you can. I just don’t want you to be alone, sweetheart. Please, I’d feel better if I knew you weren't alone.”

 

Jeff cut off any further protests from the blond boy by speaking.

 

“I’ll stay with him, Mrs W. Don’t worry.”

 

She turned to him, wrapped him in a hug. He knew in that moment she could have asked him to do almost anything and he would.

 

“Thank you, Jeff.” Releasing him she watched her son leave and added under her breath so only Jefferson could hear, “Make sure he eats something.”

 

Nodding to show he’d heard,he then followed Percy to the car. Finding him standing by the car he could tell immediately the other boy was not in a good mood. Once Jeff reached the car he crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“I’m perfectly able to take care of myself.”

 

Jeff got into the car so Percy had no choice but to join him to hear him reply,

 

“I’m sure you can.” Jeff pulled out of the parking lot, looking conscientiously in the mirrors as he knew Percy would nag him otherwise.

 

“I can. So there’s no need for you to babysit me.”

 

“Sure there is.”

 

“There really isn’t.”

 

“Percy, your mom asked me to stay with you. She didn’t say babysit. What’s wrong with hanging out this weekend?”

“Maybe I don’t want to hang out this weekend.” He suddenly looked a lot younger as he sulked.

 

“I know you, Percy. I know you wanted to go back and you would sit in the dark and blame yourself. Then your parents and By would come back and you’d hide away the thoughts you think you deserve. And so does your mom. That’s why she asked me to stay with you.” 

 

Jeff pulled into the curb and turned to Percy who looked like he was trying to burn a hole on the dashboard with his gaze. “Not because you can’t take care of yourself but because you don’t deserve those thoughts. I’m not your minder Percy. I’m your friend, and looking out for each other is what friends do.”

 

Percy slumped slightly in the passenger seat. “That was low.”

 

“It’s the truth. Now can we go?”

Percy nodded and Jeff pulled away from the curb and sung back into the traffic. A few minutes later he parked in the Whale’s driveway.

 

“I don’t want to stay here.” All anger seemed to have evaporated and the other boy looked small, afraid.

 

“We don’t have to. Grab your stuff and we’ll go.” 

 

Getting out of car, Percy stopped. “Someone’s cut the grass.”

 

“A neighbour maybe? Come on, let’s just go in.” 

 

Behind him Percy shook his head but followed up the steps to the porch. Entering they were met with a large banner spelling “WELCOME HOME, BYRON!” The house smelled of lemon scented cleaner and had been recently aired.

 

“Did you do this?” Percy turned to him.

 

“I didn’t. Though I have a good guess who did.”

 

“Who?”

“Well, your friends, for one.”

 

Shaking his head Percy entered the kitchen where no trace of the ruined Thanksgiving dinner remained, all appliances sparkling and a vase of fresh tulips stood on the table. Next to it lay a note, and Jeff recognised Ruby’s careless, looping scrawl.

 

“Hey Percy,

 

We hope you don’t mind but we thought we’d give you and your family a hand. Frankie’s with me (Ruby), we got him from your neighbour and he’ll be well looked after at the B&B. Stocked your freezer with some things if you’re hungry. Let us know if you need anything.

 

Anything, we mean it.

 

Love,

All of Us xx (the kisses are from me, Neal wants you to know)”

 

“Oh.” Percy said, surprise obvious in the short vowel.

 

“Well, now you’ve gone and done it, Whale. They love you,” Jeff smiled as he leaned against the counter. The thought that his friends liked Percy as much as he did was doing something weird in his chest that was part pride, part jealousy that the other boy wasn’t only his friend anymore.

 

“I never…” He looked around, pushed a hand through his hair. “I never expected this.”

 

“Learn to. I’ve told you before Percy, and I’ll say it again. You have friends, and this how it works. You need something, your friends step up. Your friend needs something, you step up. It’s easy.”

 

“If you’re used to it maybe. I…” He brushed a hand over his eyes. Before he could turn away he saw the blue depths were shining. Jeff pushed off leaning on the counter and put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“You will get used to it.”

 

“Maybe.” Percy stared at the flowers. “Maybe I will, but I will never, ever take it for granted.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Nothing earthshattering in this one but I hope you liked it all the same :) I'm so pleased to hear when you like it, so thank you so much if you left me a comment or some kudos! C.F.


	14. Chapter 14

A few hours later Percy felt better. At his request Jefferson had called the others and they’d all appeared at the Madden mansion, one after the other. Neal had arrived loaded with pizzas and in a few minutes it had turned into a party. Percy would have never imagined he would enjoy it under the circumstances. But he did. The noise, the group of friends, the laughter, it all distracted and directed his thoughts from the deep, dark hole they would fall down when By had one of his episodes.

 

Ruby had brought Frankie and the dog was in seventh dog heaven, running around the big Madden garden, then into the house for belly rubs and scraps of pizza before he once more set off to explore the grounds. He seemed to adore Ruby and responded immediately with adoration in his eyes every time she gave a command. The mutt who’d it taken weeks and weeks to teach how to sit was now obediently following the directions of a seventeen year old stranger. 

 

Percy was standing by the kitchen island talking to Neal when Jefferson pushed a plate of pizza on him. He was passing on his way to the fridge and Percy held the plate before he could protest. On the way back the other boy held out a Coke and a beer, in askance. Accepting the beer from him Jefferson winked before ambling over to join David and MM at the table. Since he was holding it anyway Percy ate the pizza slice while listening to Neal talk about a new band he had to listen to. About to set the plate down, another slice landed on it. Jefferson was once more walking past, this time on his way to the corner where Ruby and Belle were talking. Frowning down on the pizza he looked up when Neal spoke,

 

“He’s looking out for you.”

 

“Babysitting me, you mean.”

 

The other boy shook his head so the brown locks danced.

 

“Babysitting is something you do out of obligation or for money. Jeff is looking out for you because he cares about you.” He leaned against the counter, hip cocked and beer dangling from his hand. “You know, once Jeff sees you as a friend, a real one, he’ll do anything for you. I’ve never met anyone more loyal to his friends. Right now he’s doing what you need, even if you don’t want him to.”

 

He didn’t have to tell Percy Jefferson would do anything for his friends. He knew. He knew from the other boy sitting up with him through the night to talk about Byron. Knew from him taking Percy to go out and run, from the way he’d forced him to eat breakfast in the morning. From how he’d insisted to go to the hospital, the way he’d stayed with him and how he’d held him when Percy cried. From his bringing his mother flowers and wearing a tie despite hating them. From the way he’d been grateful to Percy for him making it back on the baseball team. From going trick or treating with By, from introducing him to all his friends, from beating up Sidney Glass until his hands bled. From how he’d tended to Percy’s wounds without a thought to his own. Percy knew Jefferson Madden would die for his friends. What surprised him was that he was truly one of them.

 

“I’m starting to see that.” 

 

Percy looked over to where Jefferson was laughing with Ruby and Belle. He was sitting on the kitchen counter, his red Converse dangling a foot of the ground. Dressed in black jeans, a white t-shirt and blue shirt hanging open with the sleeves rolled up, he smiled at Belle from his perch. He hadn’t shaved that morning and the stubble defined his jaw, made him look older than seventeen. His hair, still inexplicably sunbleached at the tips fell longer than usual over his forehead - he needed a haircut - and contrasted against the light gray of his eyes. Laughter was dancing in them as he listened to whatever Ruby was saying. Then his gaze slid past her and locked with Percy’s and he felt the world tumble, the feeling like he’d missed the last step of some stairs and was hurtling towards the ground. Around him the kitchen faded, the noise muted, the music softened until he heard his heartbeat in his ears, heavy and slow, his gaze chained to Jefferson’s. Something fizzled and sparked in the air, like a cable and been cut and invisible electricity whipped through him. His throat slammed shut, air pushed from his lungs as his chest constricted with the force of it.

 

His brain, the logical side of him, his reason, all pulled the other way, tried to stifle the rush, stem the torrential wave building. They didn’t stand a chance.

 

Oh, hell.

 

“Percy? Percy, are you okay?” Neal’s voice filtered back into his mind, the sound slowly returning like someone had turned up the volume in his head. The kitchen filtered back into view. It looked exactly the same as it had before, wasn’t that strange? It all looked so normal even after the ground under Percy’s feet had crumbled and catapulted him into something new, something unknown and filled with unexplored dark space. Tearing himself forcefully to let go of Jefferson’s gaze he turned slightly so the line of sight was blocked by Neal.

 

“Fine. I’m fine.” He took a deep drink from his beer, the liquid easing his dry throat slightly. “Spaced out for a moment.” He put his plate down. “I just need some air.”

 

Rushing outside, he let the cold air cool his warm face. Setting down the beer he ran both his hands through his hair, then began to pace. This couldn’t be happening. He could not fall in love with Jefferson.

 

He’d known he was attracted to the other boy, he was gorgeous, had a sexy laugh and smelled of tantalising aftershave and something darker - except his breath which smelled of strawberry laces. He had an amazing body, hair that fell just perfectly over his forehead and the jawline of a moviestar. His eyes were magnetic, changing color between grey, green and blue depending on the light and the emotions behind them. So yes, he’d known he was hopelessly attracted to Jefferson.

 

He could live with that. He was used to hiding his feelings, he could ignore the growing insistence of wanting for Jefferson. If that was the price of his friendship he would gladly pay. But this… He was never meant to fall for him. Never meant to love him in any way but as a friend. And now it was too late. He’d fallen, for the first time in his life and harder than he thought was possible, for Jefferson. For someone who would never see him in the same way, in the same light. The other boy wouldn’t even be able to imagine the same light. As if they were different types of frequencies, Percy vibrating at one end of the spectrum, invisible to Jefferson who radiated at the other end. Not only would his friend be unable to reciprocate but he would be blind and deaf to what Percy felt. He couldn’t return the feeling. It had to lie, left useless and without purpose inside him, rejected before it had even been given. It was so...pointless.

 

Stopping his pacing he leaned over the railing, staring up at the stars. It was only when they blurred he realized tears were stinging in his eyes. A night meant to be a wonder, a revelation in any young life and all he felt now was a burning, acidic ache. Jefferson was not meant for him, would never be. And all of Percy was meant for Jefferson. It was worse than cruel, it was wasteful, monstrous. Everything inside him that he wanted to give would at worst be thrown back in his face and at best be met with pity and discomfort.

 

His fists curled on the railing. It made him angry. Furious. With himself, with fate. He knew there were other boys like him at school. Not many, but some. Why couldn’t he have fallen for one of them? One who would be able to return his feelings, would welcome them.

 

Because none of them were his best friend. None of them had seen him through his worst days and stuck by him. None of them had made him feel better, feel valued and appreciated. None of them knew him almost as well as he knew himself. None of them looked like they’d fallen out of the pages of a magazine or had eyes that could make Percy’s blood burn under his skin. Letting his head fall back, he closed his eyes and tried to force the growing helplessness in his stomach down.

 

“Percy, are you alright?” Jefferson’s voice was soft and travelled through the night air like a caress. But when it reached Percy’s ears it turned into a stinging slap. That voice would never speak the words he wanted most to hear, would never soften into a sigh after a touch from Percy, would never tremble in wonder to know he was so incredibly loved. Choked, he managed to croak,

 

“I’m fine.”

 

Jefferson crossed the deck, stopped behind him.

 

“You’re really not. I can hear it in your voice. I can see it in the set of your shoulders.” He moved again, this time to stand next to Percy, staring out over the darkened grounds. “Are you thinking about Byron?”

 

He should be. He should be thinking about his brother and yet the despair that was threatening to swallow him had nothing to do with his brother and everything to do with the boy standing next to him. But Jefferson couldn’t know that.

 

“Yes.” It made him feel even worse to lie. Guilty about laying the blame on his brother, guilty he wasn’t thinking of him when he should be. Feel sullied from the instant Jefferson stood next to him and the sleeve of his shirt brushed against Percy’s arm, he wanted to lean closer, be pressed to his side. As close as he could get.

 

Jefferson brought his arm up around his back, his hand resting just where his neck met shoulder. Brought closer he felt Jefferson’s side press against his, hip to hip, ribs to ribs, thigh to thigh. Strawberry laces coated his friend’s breath and inhaling deeply Percy could almost taste their sweetness on his tongue. Air that had been in Jefferson’s lungs pulled into his, the flavour of Jefferson’s tongue on his. Percy felt himself grow excruciatingly hard, his body helplessly surrendering to the sensations the other boy woke in him. Feeling him tense Jefferson naturally assumed in pain and began rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. He couldn’t realize it was just over where Percy’s pulse was hammering. The sensation was soft and gentle, the impact harder than a punch and it slammed through his body, set the desire already churning in his lower abdomen aflame.

 

Abruptly he turned away, kept his back to Jefferson to hide any obvious signs of his condition even though the deck was dark. Sinking down on one of the deck chairs he pulled his knees up to wrap his arms around them, ignoring the discomfort of his jeans caused him. Jefferson sat on the chair next to him, leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, concern painted over his handsome features.

 

“Do you want me to ask the others to go home? They’d understand and-”

 

“-No!” Percy interrupted, panic working its way into his throat, coloring his voice. A whole night alone with Jefferson, only the two of them in the house? He didn’t think he could face the prospect. “No, ask them if they’d stay. All night. They can, right? There’s space?”

 

Jefferson shrugged, “Sure there is. Are you sure you want all of them here, Percy?” His grey eyes were searching, roaming Percy’s face. He nodded.

 

“Yes, I want them all to stay, if they can.”

 

After a moment’s hesitation, Jefferson nodded in agreement.

 

“Okay, then. I’ll let them know.”

 

After being told they didn’t have to drive back the party got a little more beer soaked. In the din Percy didn’t think anyone noticed he was quieter than usual, except for Jefferson who kept sending him concerned looks when he thought Percy wouldn’t notice. Unfortunately he seemed to be even more aware of the other boy than normal and if he didn’t pay attention his gaze would wander until it found him, searching him out like he was the only spot of color on a gray screen. If he didn’t find a way to rein this in he would be in a lot of trouble, very soon.

 

o.O.o

 

November faded into the past, leaving December to take its place and the wet gave way to freezing cold. Every morning frost fought for hold over the ground, forced into surrender only in the late afternoon. Breath misted from mouths and the bulkier winter clothes were brought out.

 

Byron came home from the hospital, close to his usual energetic self. Jefferson readily agreed to a battle of skills on the Nintendo. By mostly liked that you pressed a button and something dinged on the screen but Jeff was happy just to hold a controller and get a kick out of Byron’s enjoyment. It helped with the cabin fever the kid was developing as he wasn’t allowed out yet. Inside, with Mrs Whale offering hot chocolate and the music from the radio in the kitchen streaming in, the game sounds competing with whoever was crooning on the soul channel Jeff felt truly at home.

 

When Mr Whale came home he was intrigued enough by the technology to give it a try and soon he was bent forward on the couch, squinting at the screen and swearing as he tried to keep the pixelated car he was driving on the quickly approaching road. Next to him Byron was cackling in delight every time his dad muttered a “bad word”.

 

Percy entered the den to shake his head. He had pen ink on his hand and his hair was messy. Jeff could tell he’d been studying either Maths or Chemistry just from looking at him.

 

“I should have known you were the source of the noise.”

 

“I object. This,” he pointed to the Nintendo, “and this thing here,” he pointed to Byron where he was curled up on the couch, “are responsible for the noise. I’m an innocent bystander. A quiet one.”

 

“Mmmm-hmmm,” Percy said without conviction, but smiling. “Mom says dinner’s ready so game has to go off in the next two minutes or she’s coming in and pulling out the plug.”

 

“Dinner!” At the magic word Byron jumped up and dashed into the kitchen. Mr Whale heaved a long suffering sigh but tore himself from the screen, reluctantly putting the controller on the table.

 

Over hot dogs and mashed potato By recounted all the marvels in the game, as usual through gestures, noises and scattered words. Jeff realized he didn’t even think of it as unusual anymore.

 

“Jefferson, how is school going? Is Percy helping you enough?”

 

“He is, Mrs Whale. He tells me I’ll be caught up by Christmas time, and if I am I’ll be able to graduate with the others this summer.”

 

“That’s wonderful. You’ve worked hard for it. And so have you,” she added with a smile to her son.

 

“Heaven knows I have,” Percy joked and Jeff poked him in the side.

 

“And you’re keeping your spot on the team?” Mr Whale, who rarely spoke at dinner and was more focused on eating like he was loading a truck, enquired.

 

“I am. They moved me to first string.”

 

“What position?”

 

Surprised and a little touched Mr Whale was being positively chatty this evening he swallowed his bite and replied,

 

“Left field. My old position.”

 

“When does season start for you?”

 

“March.”

 

Mr Whale made a rumbling noise of approval and then focused back on his food with the usual single minded attention he paid it.

 

After dinner Mr Whale disappeared to the garage to tinker with something, Mrs Whale took Byron through the long bath time process and Percy started on the dishes. After promising he’d return the dial to the preset channel Mrs W preferred, he changed to a station with contemporary music. He liked the sweet, old fashioned stuff Mrs Whale played but nothing beat the rock channel. The first chords of Never Tear Us Apart strummed through the room and Jeff nodded in satisfaction. He liked the primal, urgent undertones of the rock ballad. Picking up a towel to dry he joined Percy at the counter. The other boy had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and was efficiently washing the remaining few dishes. In tandem to his rhythm Jeff dried and put plates and dishes away.

 

In the silence where the music filled the void Jefferson wondered what had changed between them. It was something, something he couldn’t put his fingers on that was different. Maybe it was the knowledge he now shared about Byron that laid heavy over him and made both joy and sorrow stab through him every time he looked at the kid. Maybe something had happened Percy wouldn’t tell him about but there had been a shift between them sometime during the painful weekend when By had been in the hospital. It was hard to pinpoint but Percy seemed to be more guarded again, the wall rising between them once more like armor plating sliding in place, hiding the other boy from view. His responses weren’t as immediate, as if he were checking everything he said against some internal reasoning before speaking. Whatever secret he hid the vault he was building encasing it was growing bigger by the minute. Jefferson wasn’t a patient person but he knew more vaults were opened by picks than dynamite so he’d kept quiet about it. So far. Unless Percy put enough distance between them so he couldn’t reach, he’d continue to try and ease his way past those walls the other boy was trying to raise between them.

 

“There, done.” Percy put the last plate on the drying rack and pulled the plug in the sink. Turning towards Jeff, he couldn’t help smiling. The other boy had a few bubbles stuck to his cheek.

 

“You have bubbles on your cheek.” 

 

Stepping closer he lifted his hand to wipe the speck of frothy lather off with his thumb. Percy froze in place the second he touched him, he could even feel the tendons in the other boy’s neck tense under his fingers. Snapping his head away like he’d been burned, Percy shifted. Sensing his unease Jeff searched his face but it looked almost like someone had made a mask of Percy’s face and he’d donned it, each feature familiar but wooden, blank. Stepping back, letting his hand fall, Jeff spoke easily to break the tension,

 

“I think it’s high time you had a go at the Nintendo.”

 

Percy frowned and slowly relaxed a little, some of the tension leaving his shoulders.

 

“You want to play video games?”

 

“You don’t have to say it like that. It’s fun, just wait and see.”

 

“Aren’t they for children?”

 

“Just for that I’m not going to give you a beginner’s handicap.”

 

Looking unconvinced, the blond boy wiped his hands on a towel before neatly replacing it, evenly spread over the oven handle so it would dry. Things that Jefferson didn’t remember to do, or that didn’t even occur to him Percy would notice and take care of. He’d hang the towel so it would be dry next time it would be used. He stacked dishes so they wouldn’t collapse and in the right sized slot. He would have left a little sticky note on the paragraph where he’d left off in his homework and he would have remembered to turn his desk light off to save electricity. When he grew up he’d be one of those people who never ran out of milk, who filed their tax return promptly when it was due and kept an up to date CV even if he had no intention of switching jobs. That was just the kind of person Percy Whale was. Jefferson couldn’t figure out why something that would annoy him in others, he found so appealing in this boy. He liked to see his brain working to tidy everything around him, sorting it into neat columns and file it away as conscientiously as a librarian in that impressive mind.

 

Maybe it was because despite his inherent traits, he wasn’t boring. Jefferson had a low tolerance for boring and Percy had never tested it. Who would’ve thought he’d ever find a boy who probably knew what quantum mechanics was and what a 401k meant, fun?

 

“Come on. I don’t have all night to beat you.”

 

“Well, when you make it sound that appealing.”

 

Laughing at his snarky tone, Jeff led the way into the den and picked up the first controller. Handing the second to Percy, he sat on the floor. Sighing slightly the other boy joined him. Firing up Super Mario the electronic music bounced around the room.

 

“Okay, now you’re that little green guy there, and I’m the red one and your controller decides how he moves. Just try out the buttons in turn to see what they do.” Following his direction Percy made Luigi jump and run back and forth on the screen. “That’s good. The point of this game is to use the suspended platforms to advance the game. Watch out for the meanies and you want to pick up the veggies.”

 

Percy just raised an eyebrow and Jefferson chuckled. “It’ll make sense once the level starts!”

 

Pressing the start button he let Percy take the lead, repeatedly dying. Each time he did, he leaned a little closer until he was sitting with his elbows resting on his knees, absorbed in the game. No longer watching the controller every time before he pressed the button he was focused on the little figure running on the screen. Having played the game for a countless number of hours Jeff needed minimal input to keep up. Enjoying watching Percy learn it the way he’d done with Byron a few hours earlier he just made sure to stay in the frame with the plumber brother. Next to him the blond boy was biting his lip in concentration, the bright colors of the fantasy world washing over his features and carving darker shadows under his cheekbones. His eyes looked deeper in the dusk and hooded when he frowned, as he did every time he had to make the green figure on the screen jump for longer than normal.

 

“I can’t make this! It’s impossible.” Percy lowered the controller and Jeff smiled.

 

“It took me a long time to figure out. Here,” he scooted closer and put his hands on top of Percy’s on the controller. Leaning across him to reach he picked up the scent of Percy’ soap, the usual clean, no nonsense fragrance. After shave was not an everyday occurrence apparently. Jeff quite liked knowing he saved if for occasions he considered special. The after shave had been nice, Ruby had chosen well, but Jefferson liked how Percy smelled normally better. It was one more sense telling him the clothes had changed but the boy remained the same. Percy’s breath played over Jeff’s ear where he was leaning over him and he could feel the other boy’s chest against the back of his arm. Expecting Percy to jerk back like he had in the kitchen he was surprised when he remained in place and even seemed to lean forward a little. The breaths against his neck slowed while the heartbeat he could feel against his arm sped up. Though he could try and deny it he was clearly enjoying the game, or at least felt involved in it.

 

“Pretty exciting, huh?” He cleared the jump before turning his head with a grin. Percy’s face was inches from his, every detail sharpened by the bright light of the TV. The narrow jaw, the high forehead, the sharp cheekbones, the straight nose all like they had been carved from marble by loving hands. He could have easily been a bust of some famous Roman general directing his soldiers in battle or a senator commanding the audience from the senate floor or even an emperor, his will law and his wish religion as he determined over life and death in the gladiator arena. Noble, intelligent, handsome and not a little shrewd was how his features struck Jefferson and it wasn’t far from what lived inside them. Percy’s eyes had almost lost their color in the strange light and were darker than their normal blue, the sea of them blackened today and hiding what was under the surface like the ocean at night. His breath smelled of the mint ice cream he’d had after dinner and Jefferson wondered if his lips would still taste of it. He liked mint ice cream. His eyes fell to Percy’s lips at the thought and he saw the other boy wet his, a sharp breath hissed in between them. Realizing how close they were sitting and that he was half leaning over the other boy, his face inches from his Jefferson straightened. His throat suddenly felt dry and closed and his heart pounded in his chest. Picking up his own controller again he ran a hand through his hair.

 

“There you go. It should be clear from here.” He put the controller down. “I’m just grabbing a glass of water.”

 

Getting up he steered into the kitchen and leaned over the counter, his hands on the edge of it. He felt warm and tense. His skin itched and his throat was dry. Shaking his head to clear the feeling he filled a glass under the tap. When he drank he caught his reflection in the glass of the kitchen window. He even looked tense. Consciously relaxing his shoulders he drank deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hohohohoho, SOMETHING happened! I bet you weren't expecting that :D


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait on this one - RL being extra RL happened. A bit of angst and a bit of (what I like to think of as) Mad Whale domesticity. We're getting close to a turning point chapter so I hope you enjoy the run up!

By the time their study session finished dark had fallen outside and hearing sleet drumming incessantly against the windows, Percy seemed to be in no rush to leave. Happy for the company Jeff got up and stretched. The blonde boy crossed the room, peering out the window with a grimace. Joining him to stand behind him to look out the window he felt Percy’s customary shift away. Just an inch but the message was clear all the same. Wondering what about him Percy found so repelling he didn’t like to even stand close, Jefferson shrank back a little. Pushing his hands into his pockets he sighed to himself. The boy had a thousand defense mechanisms, maybe this was just one more.

 

“A house like this ought to have a library.”

 

“It does.”

 

Percy turned, eyes wide.

 

“See, I knew you were going to get all excited about it so I may not have highlighted the fact. I thought if I did you may never leave that room.” And I like seeing you in mine, a little voice that he ignored piped up in his head.

 

“Can I see it?”

 

“I guess,” he shrugged. “But if you’re going to spend as long in there as Belle did I’m going to fall asleep.”

 

“Suits me, then I can read in peace.”

 

Jefferson laughed and was about to sling an arm around Percy’s shoulder. Then he stopped himself, turned to the door instead. He couldn’t see the other boy clenching his teeth, his hands curling into fists for a moment before he relaxed again and followed. Taking them down to the second floor Jefferson brought them down the hall to the last room to that side. Opening the door, he let Percy go on through. He realized the last time he’d been in there was the night he’d fought with Percy and made out with Linda Kennedy. Suddenly uncomfortable, he glanced at the settee as if it might show incriminating evidence. It stood, old and ugly as always, in silence. Ahead of him the other boy was looking around like he’d just entered the Sistine Chapel, trying to take everything in at once.

 

It wasn’t the biggest room in the Madden residence, but it was of a fair size, a fact hidden by the rows of cherry wood shelves. In front of the fireplace stood two Chesterfield armchairs, an antique drinks trolley between them. Over the mantle hung a giant portrait of one of Jeff’s ancestors, peering down superciliously, his powdered wig impeccable and buttons in his coat polished to a high sheen. The whole room smelled of old books and - Jefferson’s grandfather’s fault - vaguely of cigar smoke.

 

“This is almost as big as the library in town!”

 

“I guess.” He looked around. “It’s mostly old stuff.”

 

“It’s…” Percy trailed off as something caught his eye. Pulled towards it like a moth to a flame he bent over the glass topped cabinet. A reverent sigh escaped him. “You have a first edition of “ _On The Origin of Species_ ”.”

 

“See, old.”

 

“You’re a heathen. This is one of the cornerstones of modern science.”

 

“Probably weighs about as much too. Wanna drool over it in person?”

 

“I...I can touch it?”

 

“Sure, why not?”

 

“I have to go wash my hands,” Percy exclaimed and dashed out. Chuckling to himself he took the keys from the desk drawer and unlocked the cabinet. Taking the book out carefully (more because Percy seemed to treasure it than because of whatever one of his relatives had paid for it) he opened it to the first page. It smelled of dry dust and the leather cover creaked slightly. To Jefferson it looked like most of the other tomes in the room.

 

The other boy returned and handing him the volume Percy accepted it gently, like he was holding something brittle and living. Carefully he stroked his hands over the front cover, trailing the gilt lettering imprinted on the green. His eyes searched every inch, disbelieving and fervent. Turning to the front page, the same one Jefferson had just seen and thought looked like most others, woke something akin adoration in the other boy’s gaze. Jefferson had never seen him look at anything with such unguarded affection. He cared about people, had people he loved in his life and they knew it but he was always holding back in showing it, guarding himself too strictly to let just how much show. But an inanimate object, something that couldn’t hurt him in return, could be afforded unguarded adoration.

 

A nagging, pricking sensation in the back of his neck made Jeff want to take to book and toss it over his shoulder. Realizing the emotion was jealousy, he shook his head at himself. He was jealous of a book, for heaven’s sake. Because Percy would show it mattered to him unguardedly, touched it freely and looked at it admiringly. Frowning, Jeff crossed his arms over his chest. Why did it matter so much how Percy showed his friendship to him? He liked that the other boy was different, didn’t behave as his other friends. So what if he disliked physical displays of affection or checked his feelings before he let them show? Jefferson knew the reason why, knew how he’d been treated would leave Percy with scars for life. Wounds that would heal but would never completely fade. He couldn’t expect Percy to change for him.

 

Still, he turned away from seeing the unchecked affection in the other boy’s eyes and slumped down in one of the armchairs. Staring darkly into the empty fireplace he wished there would be a fire roaring in there. It seemed a day for it.

 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been lost in thought when Percy joined him, taking the other armchair.

 

“Here,” he held out a book. “I think you’ll like this one.”

 

“ _Around the World in 80 Days_? What is it about?”

“Going around the world in eighty days,” Percy laughed. When Jefferson just raised an eyebrow he shook his head. “Read it and see.”

 

“Percy…”

 

“Come on, just give it a chance. If you don’t like it you can go play Super Mario.”

 

“Fine, fine.” He got up and pressed the button on the side of the fireplace so that in a moment a fire began crackling. Sitting back down he opened the book and resigned himself to read ten pages to satisfy Percy and then seek out the two plumber brothers for his fun. Laughing for the first time on page three he turned to page 4, sinking more comfortably into the chair. He didn’t see Percy glance at him when he laughed, smiling to himself, his eyes warming just as they had when he examined the treasure of the first edition earlier.

 

Jeff looked up from the book for the first time when his stomach grumbled. The clock on the desk showed two hours since he’d sat down. Glancing over at Percy, his lips twitched.

 

“There’s no need to look so smug.”

 

Percy closed the book he’d been reading, setting it aside carefully.

 

“There really is. You read a book, voluntarily and for pleasure for no less than two hours.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” He closed the book, memorising the page as he shuddered to think what Percy would do to him if he left it open on his page, risking damage the spine. “It’s kind of cool. Steam trains, inventors, bets.”

 

“It is cool. I’m happy you think so too.”

 

“So, teach, does this mean I get some kind of reward?”

“Reward? First of all, learning is its own reward, and secondly this was just for fun. Don’t try and convince me you didn’t enjoy it.”

 

“Maybe. A little.” He grinned. “But now I’m starving.” He got up and Percy followed suit.

 

“I’m not making you food.”

 

“Fine, fine. We’ll forage!”

 

In the kitchen the lamps turned on at his touch, spreading pools of light over the counters, spilling over to the floor. The interior designer had been going on about directional light in white for work areas and undirected yellow light over the sitting areas but to Jeff all that mattered was that the light turned on. Percy, now as at home in this kitchen as his own, opened a cupboard and pulled out a bag of chips. His neatness prevented him from sticking his hand in it though and he brought out a bowl (that Jefferson had no idea he owned, and much less where he could find it) and poured the chips in. Handing him a Coke before continuing his search for what he wanted, he could feel the other boy sit and watch him. Flashing a smile over his shoulder before reaching deeper into the fridge, he spoke in the direction of a shelf of vegetables,

 

“Twenty thousand pounds doesn’t sound like that much, if he’s rich.”

 

“It’d be roughly three and a half million dollars today.”

 

“Oh.” He chuckled. “I’d go around the world for less.”

 

“You want to?”

“Yeah, totally. Getting out of here, see the world. I can’t wait. I have to graduate but then I’m off.”

 

“Your dad would pay for that?”

 

Jefferson turned back, a pile of sandwich makings in his arms.

“Probably. I’m sure he’d be relieved to have me out of his hair. And when I turn twenty-one the trust fund kicks in and then I won’t need his permission for anything anymore.”

 

He bumped the fridge door shut with his elbow and set the stuff down on the island counter. Then, with a glance at Percy, he pulled a plate from the cupboard to set his slices of Wonderbread on.

 

“Are you humming _Slice of America_?” Percy asked him while he spread peanut butter on the first slice.

 

“It’s a conditioned response. It’s been on two times per commercial break during By’s cartoons. I can’t see the bag without hearing it in my head.”

 

“I can’t believe you have Wonderbread. Aren’t there fancier breads out there?”

“Sure, there’s a whole cupboard of them. This is mine.”

 

“You went and bought Wonderbread?”

“Sure. I was with your mom at the Piggly Wiggly and I saw her get it. I like the bread in your house.” He put the jelly evenly over the slice, focusing on covering every millimetre of peanut butter with the strawberry jam.

 

“When were you with her at the Piggly Wiggly?”

“Oh, we go once a month. We’ll have to go twice this month though, cause of Christmas.” He took a bite and was surprised to see Percy looking seriously at him.

 

“Where was I when you went?”

“I don’t know. Mathletes? Or debating club. Whichever one you have on Thursdays.”

 

“Debating club. You take my mom grocery shopping?”

“She sometimes needs help carrying stuff,” he replied, defensiveness creeping into his voice at Percy’s accusatory tone.

 

“I see.” The other boy looked away for a moment and Jefferson frowned. What now? Was he not allowed to drive Mrs Whale to the store? Was that charity too? Too bad. He liked driving her, liked making her laugh while he pushed the trolley around the aisles and watched her read each label carefully before putting it into the cart. It didn’t cost him much but it saved her several trips to get the stuff inside and…

 

His musings were interrupted by Percy reaching out and touching him voluntarily for the first time in weeks. Just his hand on Jeff’s forearm, as if to capture his attention completely, before he spoke quietly,

 

“Thank you.”

 

Jefferson blinked in surprise.

 

“No problem.”

 

A couple of hours after Percy left Jefferson gave up on lying in bed, got up and traipsed downstairs, collecting what he needed before returning. Turning the bedside lamp on he opened the book on the page where he’d left off earlier.

 

“Damn know-it-all,” he chuckled to himself before returning to the story.

 

o.O.o

 

Percy watched the mist rising from his mouth in the dark evening. The snow couldn’t be far off now, the real kind that stuck. The night air was sharp like glass to inhale and pricked at any exposed skin like needles. Still he couldn’t bring himself to go inside yet. Jefferson had dropped him off as usual but Percy hadn’t gone in. He’d thought about it but home suddenly felt too cramped and full. Everything that was rolling around inside him needed space. Space to think, to process. Every time he spent time with Jefferson now he had to watch everything he said, everything he did. From the smallest inflection in his voice, to his gestures to the faces he made because he couldn’t let his friend know. Couldn’t let him know and then lose that friend. His first best friend.

 

At the start of term he could have never imagined he’d think of Jefferson as his closest friend. Not only did they not move in the same circles, but they were just so different. Until he’d been stuck in that dumpster and Jefferson had let him out and he’d spoken to him properly for the first time. It had turned out he was far from what Percy had imagined he was like.

 

Starting to walk, to nowhere in particular, he tried to calm the rolling chaos inside. He felt...elated, joy shimmering in heady starbursts throughout, the power of a very first love heady and high. Awe, and shining reverence for everything about Jefferson. The way that he cared for everything around him, the way his empathy ran so deep. He spent time with By, helped Percy’s mom when he hadn’t even been asked. He was like a part of the family that had been missing and was only now found. Percy marvelled at the way he thought and spoke, never starting anything from the beginning but jumping from impulse to impulse. The way he looked. That impossibly perfect hair, the strong, beautiful hands, the way he filled out his jeans. His eyes, the gray that was sometimes green, sometimes blue and that could brighten when he laughed. His laugh. That easy, full sound. So free and always with a joy in the simple action.

 

The rapture was only part of it. However radiant the feelings he harbored for Jefferson were they were only one side of reality. The other was the cold, dark knowledge that to the other boy, Percy would never be anything more than a friend. He could admire his empathy for others but he could never kiss him in thanks. He could admire his hair but never run his hands through it. He could carry the words but never voice them, never whisper he loved him. Instead of the warm glow he’d imagined finding those three words inside him would wake he felt them burning like acid, eating through his insides and corroding the feeling.

 

Rubbing his hand over his breastbone he felt hot tears burn in the corners of his eyes. Swiping them away he realized he’d walked to Main, habit leading him while he thought.

 

“Percy?”

 

He turned, spotting Ruby holding the folding sign for the Diner, clearly about to take it inside. She was dressed only in a short skirt and sleeveless blouse and was shivering already.

 

“What are you doing out this late?”

 

Percy tried to pull himself together, collect all the emotions that had seeped out like stuffing clothes back into an already full drawer. He’d just need a second, then he could slam that drawer shut and no one would see anything out of the ordinary. But there was just too much, too much that had to be crammed back inside and for once when the panels in his armour were loosened he couldn’t return to normal quick enough.

 

“I…” He looked around, desperately trying to slide the iron curtain in place.

 

“Are you okay, Percy?” He heard her high heels crunch over the frosty sidewalk as she approached. Taking an instinctive step back, she still came into view, peering up at him. Close enough to see unshed tears in his eyes she just closed her mouth around the next question, took his arm and gently led him inside the Diner. Flicking the lock she pulled the roller blind down in front of the door. Inside, half dusk reigned as she’d already pulled the curtains in front of all the windows, only the lights behind the bar lighting the rows of bottles switched on. A mop and bucket stood outside the kitchen and from the jukebox music was on low. Compared to how it normally looked Percy thought he’d entered a foreign land. Empty, dark and quiet was not how he usually saw Granny’s.

 

She pushed him to sit on one of the stools and made her way around the counter. Still without a word she took two glasses, filled them expertly from a bottle and slid one in front of him. Wondering if it would numb the sensations inside like it would physical pain, Percy took a gulp.

 

Giving him a searching look she seemed to decide something and moved down the counter, picking up a rag and starting to wipe it down. Grateful for the time to try and assemble himself again Percy closed his eyes. The armour was worn, had holes in it and emotions pushed through from underneath like blood through scarred and torn metal.

 

There was just too much to try and contain. His worry for Byron, his feelings for Jefferson, his desperate wish to not be in this position, his stress about the future, about money, about grades and about time. It had worn the lid he put on it ragged. He was speaking before he had a chance to stop it, the words bubbling over like a glass overflowing.

 

“I’m gay.” Never before had he uttered the word. He’d told Jefferson but phrased it differently. Never once had he named it. Naming it made it real. Irrevocably and painfully true. He clenched his teeth so hard his jaw made a cracking sound in his head. His hands curled into fists where they lay on the counter.

 

Ruby, now back at his end of the bar, let go of the cleaning cloth, putting her hand over his. It smelled of lemon disinfectant and her perfume. Staring down onto the veins in the marble effect countertop the seconds ticked by.

 

“I know.”

 

Looking up he forced his eyes to meet hers, the bright green almost luminescent in the half light.

 

“You do?”

 

She nodded.

 

She knew. Ruby knew and she hadn’t treated him any different, had been his friend, had sought out his company.

 

“I like Jefferson.”

 

Ruby moved her hand to his cheek, warm and slightly dry from the detergent.

 

“I know.”

 

“What?” Panic seeped into his voice.

 

She leaned closer, their foreheads almost touching.

 

“I haven’t told anyone. I won’t tell. Not unless you want me to.”

 

“Want you to?” Percy asked, incredulously. “Why would I ever want you to _tell_ anyone?”

 

“You're my friend, Percy, and so is Jeff. I could...talk to him.”

 

“No!” he cleared his throat a bit awkwardly. “No,” he continued, calmer now. “Thanks.” He looked away. “What would be the point anyway? I need to get over this.”

 

“Percy…”

 

“Time. I just need some time. Then I’ll be fine.”

 

Ruby didn’t reply but she moved her hand from his cheek to his shoulder, squeezing it.

 

By the time he left, he felt calmer. None of the feelings had changed but some of the tension had eased, the building pressure allowed a small release.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you thought I had forgotten this story. Never! Here's the next chapter where Stuff Actually Happens, I hope you'll like it!

With Christmas fast approaching Percy stepped up the pace on their tutoring sessions, clearly remembering he’d said Jefferson would have caught up by the end of the term. Jeff didn’t really mind. Studying was not that hard when you had a good memory and spending more time with Percy was fun. Even if it had to include Elizabethan politics and the Mendelian laws. Sitting in his room today, the desk moved from the wall to the middle of the room so they could sit on either side, he listened to the other boy reading a passage about the randomization of genetic traits. He liked listening to him read. Percy had a nice voice, deep and smooth, with that rounded, educated accent that had cancelled out most of the regional variations. He wondered if he could convince him to read parts of Around the World in 80 Days at some point. It would be fun to hear the British eccentric Phileas Fogg speak in Percy’s voice. Jeff was already halfway through the book but he was sure the other boy had read it at least once already.

 

“Tell me what the basis for modern genetics is, according to Mendel’s findings,” Percy quizzed and Jefferson returned to listening properly.

 

“Pea plants,” he grinned.

 

“That’s an F.” But he chuckled. “It’s probably time for a break anyway.”

 

Closing the book, after marking the page neatly, Percy closed his eyes and rubbed his hands over his face. He looked a bit tired and Jeff wondered if he was sleeping properly. Stretching, with a yawn, his plain t-shirt rode up to show an inch of flat stomach over the waistline of his jeans. An impulse to touch the soft looking skin flashed through him and Jefferson looked away. He had to be getting cabin fever from all the studying. Looking past Percy he glanced outside.

 

“Snow!” He burst out and Percy jumped in surprise. Springing up he sped into the closet and pulled out his jacket before returning.

 

“What about the rest of the chapter?”

“Later! I’m genetically compelled to go outside in the first snowfall of the year. It’s not my fault, the trait is randomized.”

 

“So you were listening.” Percy glanced outside. “Okay, we’ll go out. Byron will be going crazy anyway so we can take him out and let him run it off.”

 

“Sweet!”

 

Forty-five minutes later they’d gone back to the Whale house, dressed an impossibly excited By, waited for Percy who apparently needed a hat, a scarf, gloves, his winter boots, a thick sweater and a big jacket. In his jacket and sneakers Jeff rolled his eyes impatiently. What if the snow melted before they made it outside? Bouncing on his feet next to him By tramped about, clearly in agreement. Then finally, Percy was ready, and opening the door Byron shot out like a bullet.

 

“Finally! You look like you’re dressed for an Arctic expedition.”

 

“You’ve clearly not played in the snow with Byron before. He’ll be hours.”

 

“Cool,” Jefferson replied and set off after By. Behind him Percy shook his head before closing the door and following at a slower pace.

 

The Whales’ backyard wasn’t big, enclosed with high fences for By’s sake but the snow was falling so quickly there was still plenty for making a snowman. Crawling about and helping Byron roll the increasingly heavy bottom ball Jeff felt water seep through his jeans. Shaking his head internally that Percy was always right, he ignored it and adjusted the placement according to By’s directions. While his friend’s brother began rolling the head, he and Percy lifted the middle section up to rest on the foundation. Kneeling, they packed snow around the joint so the smaller of the two snowballs wouldn’t fall off.

 

“Jefferson, why didn’t you bring any gloves?”

 

He shrugged, “I forgot.”

 

Mumbling something under his breath Percy pulled his off, stuck them under his arm and reached for Jeff’s hands. Intrigued he watched as the other boy enveloped his freezing hands between his warm ones. Compared to the cold air they felt scalding. Rubbing them gently to make the blood flow back into them his fingers seemed to leave searing trails over his skin. Firm but gentle, he worked methodically until Jeff’s skin was warm again. Seeming to be lost in thought Percy continued to rub circles over Jefferson’s palm with his thumbs. Sensation now fully returned, numbness evaporated, he felt his nerves respond to the gentle massage, pleasure purring in his chest.It felt...nice. As if transfixed by what he was doing, Percy moved his hands higher, to brush over Jeff’s wrists, the thin sensitive skin over his pulse point. The pleasure tipped into something else, something new and loaded.

 

His mind was about to name it when a snowball hit him square in the chest. Byron didn’t have the best coordination but he’d gotten lucky and the wet thud startled him from his thoughts. Pulling his hands from Percy’s he brushed it off his jacket and laughed.

 

“You’re dead meat, you sneak!” He got up, calling, “Thanks, Percy!” before setting off after the maniacally laughing, loping By. Behind him Percy sat back on his heels, still kneeling.

 

The pretend war was still raging when Mrs Whale called Byron in for his medications. After a lot of cajoling he was finally enticed inside with hot chocolate. Knowing it was easier if By was less excited during the time he had to take his meds, Jefferson and Percy stayed outside. Just as Jeff turned back from the door closing behind By and Mrs Whale another snowball hit him, this time so high on his chest it splattered over his face. Sputtering and blinking he heard Percy laugh. Clearly there was nothing wrong with his aim.

 

With a laugh of his own he set off after Percy. The other boy might be a better long distance runner but Jeff was faster at short spurts. He skidded, picking up some snow and with the aim of a baseballer threw the icy ball. Hitting him square between the shoulders Percy whirled around, laughter still ringing in the air. Changing directions he swept snow into a loosely packed ball, hurtling it with sure aim. Prepared this time, Jeff dove out the way.

 

They managed to circle the house twice before Jeff caught up with Percy. Both of them were soaked, Jeff had snow in his hair and his jeans were sopping. Percy had lost the hat somewhere in the chase and his jacket was covered in powdery snow. Seeing Percy crouched, peeking around the corner of the shed in the wrong direction, Jeff snuck closer. Then he pounced, pulling Percy back into the snow. But the other boy had quick reflexes and managed to catch hold of the front of Jefferson’s jacket, bringing him with him in the fall.

 

Landing with an “oomph” as the air left his lungs he laughed breathlessly. Percy had fallen, back first into the snow and Jeff, getting pulled along, landed on top of him. Resting his weight mainly on his elbows above the other boy’s shoulders, he hadn’t crushed him. He could feel Percy laughing under him, the vibrations of it travelling through his own body. Sharing in it he looked down to meet his gaze. The laughter stilled in his chest, died in his throat. Something else was there, something big and inexplicable, something that dampened the simple joy and replaced it with something deeper and darker. Sensing he wasn’t laughing, Percy stilled as well, his eyes growing serious. His breaths were still strained, winded from the run and the mist of them mixed with the clouds of Jeff’s own, rising above them. Realizing he was lying on top of Percy, splayed over him and covering his body completely with his own he felt his heart start thundering in his chest. The other boy’s blue eyes turned wondering and he parted his lips in an unspoken question. A snowflake landed on his bottom lip, melting in an instant and Percy wet his lips, swiping it away. In one violent instant desire slammed through Jefferson and he tensed. From one moment to the next the position changed in his mind from a wrestle to an embrace. Suddenly he grew hyper aware that they were melded together, chest to chest, hips to hips, their legs tangled.

 

Jefferson felt his mind struggle to keep up with his body’s reactions, the sane part of his brain shouting that this was his friend, Percy. A boy. That part was struggling to be heard over the instinct that was clawing at him from the other side. The part that felt the familiar pressure in his lower abdomen, that tickled and tingled under his skin, that made the reflex to roll his hips against Percy’s unbearably strong. The part that drove need and desire, a part that wanted to sink its sharp, keen teeth into the other boy and take a bite. The part of him that wanted to hear Percy pant, sigh his name and grow warm and pliant under him. That wanted Jeff to press his lips to Percy’s, to wrap his arms around him and grind his hips against the other boy until the pressure relented.

 

Helplessly swept along Jeff felt himself harden excruciatingly, pushing painfully against Percy’s crotch. Flying off the other boy, he swiftly turned away, struggling for control. Trying to keep his voice normal and not grating out of him, he forced it into a semblance of normality.

 

“I have to go. I...forgot something I got to do. I’ll see you later.” With that he rushed off, leaving the dark yard through the silently falling snow.

 

Getting into his car he drove on autopilot, got back and went straight to his room where he stripped off the wet clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor and stepping into a scalding hot shower. Leaning his hands against the large cubicle walls he let the spray soak him. What the hell was going on, he asked himself. Percy was a guy, and what was more, his friend and he had just wanted to kiss him with an intensity he’d never experienced. 

 

Water ran in hot rivers down his back, dripping from his hair to blur his sight. Hesitantly he brought the train of thought back, nudging it like easing a door open. Inside was Percy, as he’d always been. Searching over the image, scanning it for a change he couldn’t think of anything that was different. Relieved he, smiled to himself. Teenage hormones. That had to be it. A warm body moving under his, being a red blooded guy, of course he’d react. That he’d never reacted the same way to wrestling with Neal he pointedly ignored.

 

Stepping out, roughly towelling off he dropped the wet towel where he stood and headed back into his room. It was dark outside but that told him little as darkness fell during the mid-afternoon now. Enjoying the slightly disorienting sensation of not knowing what time it was and not having to care he got dressed in an ancient t-shirt and baggy sweatpants. Collapsing down on the bed he smelled the cleaner had changed his sheets today. Rolling over he burrowed under the covers and sighed in content. He had no idea if it was late enough to go to sleep but he didn’t really care. The bed was warm and comfortable, the duvet enveloping him like cocoon. Closing his eyes he let himself relax back into the mattress. But a slight tension stayed in his muscles, centred on the small of his back. Shifting, he sensed the familiar pressure and automatically let his hand wander to ease it. Tucking his other hand behind his head, eyes fluttering close, Jefferson called images of Lisa Kennedy in the library to the forefront of his mind. Thinking about the way her bra had cupped the soft, generous mounds of her breasts and skimmed that silky skin. Warming to the image he pictured himself running his lips over the delectable line where fabric met skin. His hand under the covers tightened and knowing he was alone in the house he let a groan escape. Winding deeper into the fantasy he imagined he’d look up to see her face, pleasure painted over her features. When his imaginary self did, the face that met his inner eye was Percy’s. The blonde boy arched off the couch the way the cheerleader had, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip as Jeff ran his tongue over Percy’s chest.

 

In the dark of his room Jefferson’s eyes flew open, breaths heaving and arousal pounding inside him. Percy? Hesitation flickered through him like lightning, illuminating reality in fits and bursts. Not Percy, Lisa. Lisa Kennedy. The well-endowed cheerleader. The girl. She’d giggled breathlessly when he kissed her neck. She’d smelled of vanilla, cherries and menthol cigarettes. The settee had been scratchy under the one hand he’d used to support his weight. Bringing the evening back he began moving again. Long silky hair, cherry chapstick on his tongue, soft curves under his hands.

 

The cloying scent of her morphed into something clean and fresh, a no-nonsense soap, and he inhaled deeply. He knew that scent. Percy. In his mind he opened his eyes, the small charm necklace and white bra strap no longer there, but a strong, wide shoulder meeting neck where the tendons stood out, tensed to breaking. It looked no less appealing and Jeff set his teeth to the tender spot. Percy groaned and Jefferson could feel it reverberate through his own body. Something like a predatory growl hummed in his throat and he transferred it to Percy’s skin with his tongue. Lifting himself slightly he looked down to see the other boy, his eyes half-closed in pleasure, his hair damp at the temples. His normally pale cheeks were flushed and his lips swollen. His shirt was hanging open, the ridges of muscles shadowed heavily in the half dusk of the library.

 

Straightening up further Jefferson looked down in confusion. How...Why...The questions died unfinished as his glance travelled down. The “V” of Percy’s hipbones, the waistline of his jeans and under them, obvious proof of his arousal. At the sight, something inside Jefferson caught fire, an explosive, violent, overpowering reaction. A nuclear explosion, wiping everything in its fallout.

 

Relenting to where his mind had taken him, Jefferson squeezed his eyes shut harder, his hips rolling in slow, searching thrusts. His hand sped up, tightening and he moaned through clenched teeth.

 

Sinking down again he captured Percy’s lips in a hard kiss, the taste of the unspoken questions wiped away by the other boy’s tongue. Core to core now Jefferson felt Percy press against him and reflexively he rolled his hips. The blonde boy groaned deep and answered in kind. Electricity flashed in Jeff’s head and instinct drove pleasure into a sharp point. One all consuming need.

 

Percy’s hand reached up, touching his back and travelling down his side, over his flank, along the waist of his jeans. Hoisting himself up slightly he felt the other boy snap the button open, reach inside and touch him. Pleasure contracted, compacted, swallowed into a vacuum, needle sharp and keen before it exploded, shattering through him.

 

Quaking and breathing hard Jefferson returned to himself, back in his bed in his dark room. His breaths shuddered, his body trembling like he’d just run a marathon.

 

This was all wrong.

 

o.O.o

 

Percy closed the door to his room with a snap. He’d managed to tidily hang his wet outdoor clothes, step out of his sodden boots and call he wasn’t hungry to his mother in an almost normal voice when he ducked through the house. Locking his door he ignored the vague call of guilt - after dinner was usually when he took care of By and his brother would be done any minute. But he’d looked after him a large part of the afternoon and right this minute he wasn’t sure he could be much help to anybody. Sliding the lock in place he let his shaking knees give in and sank down on the floor, back to the door. With shaking hands he undid his jeans.

 

They’d been having a snowball fight, laughingly running through the snow. Then Jefferson had managed to sneak up on him, intent on pulling him down onto the ground. Reaching out for payback he’d managed to bring the other boy down with him and with an “oomph” he’d landed on top of him. Laughing, it had taken him a moment to realize the position they were in and looking up he’d seen the mirth shift and give way to something else in Jefferson’s eyes. Stilling, he’d felt his entire body tense like a bow being drawn. The brown haired boy was spread on top of him, their legs tangled, every inch pressed as close as the layers of winter clothes would allow. Helplessly he hardened, his pulse hammering in his thighs. His jeans suddenly too tight and restrictive he’d fought the need to get closer, push harder, grind himself into Jefferson until he knew nothing but him. It forced all other thoughts from his head. An unvoiced sigh passed his lips and he wet them, blood pounding in his ears.

 

Jefferson flew up and backed away through the snow, rambling about having to go and Percy’s heart shrank. He’d felt it. He’d realized Percy was turned on by another boy on top of him and while he might have been okay knowing this is theory, feeling it in practice, for himself no less, was another matter. Percy had been helpless not to respond and now his friend was disgusted with him. Disgusted, and still he couldn’t rein in his raging desire.

 

A dry sob of desperation tore from Percy’s throat and he let his hand slip past the waistband of his underwear. Jefferson was back in his mind, hovering above him with a gentler version of his lopsided smile covering his handsome features. His breath was hot against his skin, rising in misty clouds over them and smelled of the strawberry laces he was now never without. The short stubble brushed against his cheek when Jefferson lowered his head to kiss him. Allowing his hand to move the whole scene shifted and in a moment it changed from sweet and longing to frantic. Picturing himself with the other boy on his bed, tangled in the luxurious sheets as he trailed openmouthed kisses down Jefferson’s chest, tasted the thin sheen of sweat covering the tensed, bunching muscles.

 

In his room Percy’s hips rolled unbidden, desperately seeking relief. Using his free hand he covered his mouth, stifling the moan that escaped him.

 

In his mind’s eye he trailed kisses over Jefferson’s hipbones, his thighs, his taut stomach until the other boy whimpered his name. Bursting with need, feeling he’d come undone and rip at the seams if he didn’t follow his desire Percy pulled Jefferson’s underwear down and took him in his mouth. The other by arched up, his name passing once more over his lips, but this time in wonder, a deep reverent groan. Jefferson’s hands tangled in Percy’s hair and beginning to move he felt the other boy tremble under him.

 

Pleasure surged through Percy, erupting in white hot flames, and his back arched as he spilled over his hand. Slamming his head accidentally against the door he saw stars burst across his vision and he winced. The last smoking trails of arousal were ripped away by the pain, after burn erased like water on a fire. He dropped his head forward, breathing hard.

 

This was bad. Out of the turmoil of emotions fighting for the upper hand inside him he identified desperation, lust, despair, shame, confusion and overwhelming tenderness. He was in love with Jefferson, both amazed and delighted in a feeling that was so new and so shimmeringly beautiful. Despairing that something that felt like it was a treasure made to be given would never be welcome as a gift from him. It was like he’d crafted an image of Jefferson inside, forged it from his feelings and portrayed the other boy the way he saw him. And all he wanted to do was present it to him, show him how unbelievably wonderous he was in Percy’s eyes and make him see it himself. A mirror image of himself through Percy’s eyes so that every time Jefferson looked at him he’d be reminded someone thought he was a miracle.

 

Shame, black and hot like fresh tar, sullied the image in crude, thick brushstrokes. Jefferson wasn’t like him, wasn’t for him and he never would be. He would always think of Percy as a friend. In his mind Jefferson’s innocent touches and quick smiles were perverted into what he wanted them to be. It was wrong, even if it was just in his mind, and every time the pressure grew too unbearable and he had to seek respite he was filled with a clawing embarrassment after. Not only that, the pain of keeping a man wearing Jefferson’s face that felt the same way about him, was prolonging his own suffering. Yet, he couldn’t make himself stop. Not when for a moment, one small moment, he was allowed to feel like there was a point to his feelings, a point to him.

 

He could only hope that with time what he felt for Jefferson would fade, would soften into normal friendship and he would no longer need the mask he wore around him, could loosen the iron bands of restraint he bound himself in.

 

Drawing his knees up higher, he leaned his forehead against them. As helpless as he’d been to resist Jefferson’s physical effect on him, the emotional one took its toll as unrelentingly. Deep, quaking sobs racked through him and stifling them as best he could he hoped no one in his family would hear.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What high school AU would be complete without some Seven Minutes in Heaven? ;)

If Percy had had any doubts of his rising popularity this one night would have convinced him it was on the up. He’d been given a considering look but then the cheerleader had tossed her carefully curled hair and handed him a note with her address with the words,

 

“Party at my house.”

 

His protests that he’d been to several parties lately and had tons of homework was not accepted by anyone in his group, not even Belle, and so he was once more at a loud, crowded teenage house party. Since the day in the snow he’d managed to avoid the Diner, Jefferson’s house and Jefferson and the other boy had seemed as keen on escaping Percy as he was escaping him. But tonight all his excuses had been swept away and he was standing in the hall of a house he didn’t know.

 

Ruby slithered past in a skintight dress and reaching for his hand, dragged him through to the kitchen and the “bar” - the countertop where everyone put the drinks down. Archie and Belle had been in Ruby’s car as well and they joined them in the kitchen. Already there were Neal, Emma, David and Mary Margaret. He didn’t spot Jefferson and he relaxed slightly, managing a smile when Ruby handed him a rum and coke in a plastic cup. Joining him, she pitched her voice lower and leaned closer so he’d hear.

 

“You okay?”

 

He shrugged, taking a sip from his drink.

 

“Ah.” She nodded in understanding. “I know it’s not much but I was hoping going to this party would distract you, just a little.”

 

“That’s sweet. But I think standing around a bunch of people just makes me feel more isolated.”

 

“Give it an hour. If you’re not enjoying it in an hour, I’ll drive you back.”

 

“You’re drinking right now.”

 

“Oh, right. Archie will drive you back. Right, Archie?” She pitched her voice louder at the end.

 

“Hmm?” The redheaded boy who’d been talking with Belle turned his attention to them when he heard Ruby speak his name.

 

“I just said, would you mind driving Percy back in my car if he’s not enjoying the party in one hour?”

 

“Sure. I’m happy to leave early. Homework,” he shared a smile and look of understanding with Percy. “But how will you get back?”

 

“I’ll catch a ride, don’t worry.” She tossed her hair and turned the wattage up on her smile. “Now am I going to have to force you two to enjoy the party?”

 

Before the nature of this force she was going to use was revealed, Jefferson entered, his arm around the cheerleader from his party. She was wearing a black dress that hugged her every curve, her long blonde hair styled carefully and piled on top of her head with seductive tresses falling down and brushing her neck. A purple belt cinched tightly around her small waist and matched the color of her pumps. She was a stunning girl and Jefferson’s arm around her shoulders looked relaxed, like it belonged there. A sting, like the jab of a needle sank through his breastbone.

 

Quickly, Percy turned away, suddenly face to face with Archie who looked at him inquiringly. The move had clearly looked like he had something urgent to ask the sandy-haired boy.

 

“Ah...Did you finish your Biology essay?”

 

Surprised about the sudden interest the other boy explained he was halfway through while Percy fought to keep his focus on the conversation. Jefferson greeted the group, offering a halfhearted “Hey,” to Percy which he met with a nod. Then the Madden heir steered the cheerleader out of the room and Percy drew a small sigh of relief.

 

Ruby had been right, the party served as a good distraction. The shifting people, the loud music and his friends all lifted his mood and an hour passed without him noticing. He didn’t see the questioning look Archie sent Ruby with a gesture to him, or the responding shake of her head. Nor the nod of Archie’s head before he returned to his conversation with Emma. If he had he’d been part grateful, part annoyed he was being looked after.

 

As all teen parties were wont to do, groups and subsections soon formed and having moved into the living room this meant the group of friends got involved in a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven. Neal and Emma, as well as MM and David ducked out, with Neal calling he could have more than seven minutes any time he wanted anyway. His girlfriend joked he was overreaching with seven minutes. With a laugh Neal picked Emma up and slung her over his shoulder, undoubtedly on his way to prove his stamina.

 

Archie and Percy were both edging out when they were pulled down to sit on the floor by whoever was closest and sharing a look of defeat, they sat. By divine providence or an unbalanced bottle Percy managed to avoid getting a spin for several turns. Just as people were beginning to lose interest or had decided seven minutes weren’t enough and disappeared together, someone called his name. Silence fell over the circle, to see what the former class nerd would do, no doubt. All eyes on him, he sighed internally and reached for the bottle. Setting it off he looked up to see Jefferson, straight across from him and watching him intently. Sitting back he forced his eyes from the other boy’s as the bottle began slowing down. Knowing the role he had to play he fastened his gaze on the bottle. It had held a cheap wine, he noted. As if in slow motion he saw the green bottle neck come to a halt, pointing straight at...Jefferson. Looking up, a wave of heat swept through him, rolling from his heart to his fingertips. The other boy’s gaze locked with his, his expression unreadable. The girl on Jefferson’s left began shifting as the bottle was pointing more to the left than the right but before she could make a sound, Ruby, sitting on Jefferson’s right, popped up.

 

“That’s me. It’s definitely closest to me. Let’s go, Percy.” She held out a hand for him and grateful she’d saved him from the girl he didn’t know, he took her hand and followed. With a glance behind him he saw Jefferson following their departure, his gaze still impenetrable.

 

Once inside the closet designated for the game Ruby hoisted herself up to sit on a dresser, curiously surveying the coats and shoes surrounding them. It was almost dark in there, the dusk only dispersed by the edges of the door and a window high on the wall that let in a bleak amount of yellow light from the street outside. He could only vaguely make out the shape of his friend sitting on the dresser but saw she patted the small space next to her. Joining her, he pulled himself up to sit.

 

“Thanks for saving me there.”

 

“No problem. Besides, I haven’t gone yet and I prefer you to most of the boys out there who’ll assume because I wear a nice dress they have the right to put their sweaty hands on it.”

 

“Gee, thanks.”

 

She laughed, “Oh, come on, you know what I mean. We’re friends, I’d much rather hang with you than them.”

 

“Same.”

 

She fell silent for a moment and he could tell she wanted to ask him something.

 

“Go on.”

 

“Jefferson brought a girl.”

 

Percy looked up, staring into the dark.

 

“I noticed.”

 

“Is that...Do you...Is it hard? To see?”

 

“How would you feel, Ruby?”

 

“I guess I know.” She seemed to be looking for the words before continuing. “Well, she’s trashy. And her giggle is grating. She’s stupider than an undercooked pancake and her perfume smells like pickle juice.”

 

Percy laughed, amused by the brunette’s critique.

 

“Sooner or later Jeff will realize that too, Percy.”

 

He sighed, ran a hand through his hair, his heart a leaden weight in his chest.

 

“It doesn’t really matter, Rubes. After her there’ll be another. After that another. And they’ll all be girls. That’s just...fate. Nature.”

 

“It sucks.”

 

“It does. But I wouldn’t ask him to change, it would be as useless as asking myself to change. We’re just...stuck in different parts of the scale.”

 

“You’re being very mature and philosophical about this.”

 

“I try. And if I repeat it often enough, maybe one day I’ll feel it’ll be true.”

 

He felt her put an arm around his back and lean her head on his shoulder. He could smell her perfume, the mousse in her hair. Readying to pull back, to gently disentangle himself, he realized he didn’t actually feel the need to. Leaning his chin on top of her head he took the comfort that was offered.

 

After a few minutes in silence he glanced at his watch, the face of it glowing in the dark.

 

“Seven minutes are almost up.”

 

She straightened and sighed.

 

“Right.” Ruby slid down from the dresser, then stopped and turned back to him. “Ah...Do you...do you want me to pretend we did something? I mean, I don’t want to be insulting, I just, if you…”

 

He stopped her, touching her cheek.

 

“It’s sweet. But no, thanks.” He slid off the dresser as well. “If anyone has to know, just tell them I told you I’m in love with someone else.”

 

“Gotcha.” She fired a brilliant smile and gave him a hard hug. “It will be your turn, Percy. You’ll find it, I promise,” she whispered. Then she went to the door, put her hand on the handle. “After all, high school is not forever.” Ruby tossed her hair in her signature move and then opened the door.

 

Curious eyes met them as they exited and Ruby placed a kiss on his cheek before leaving. Several of the pairs of eyes watching them widened. Then someone hollered “Fresh keg!” from the kitchen and as one everyone in the circle got up, filing out. About to join them, maybe find Archie and continue the discussion on the Biology essay, Jefferson suddenly appeared, eyes dark. Reaching behind Percy he opened the closet door again and pushed him inside.

 

“Hey!”

 

The door swung shut and Jefferson whirled around.

 

“What do you think you’re doing?”

 

Percy, with no idea what had set the other boy’s temper off, crossed his arms.

 

“I was about to find Archie to talk about whether he thinks-”

 

“No, what the hell were you doing going into the closet with Ruby?”

 

“I was playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. I thought you understood the premise.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“Don’t be stupid.”

 

“I try not to.” Percy huffed, throwing his arms in defeat “What’s wrong, Jefferson?”

 

“You, in here, with Ruby.”

 

“If you think I somehow manipulated the bottle to point to her, I have to point out it was actually pointing at you. Maybe it should have been you instead.”

 

Jefferson stilled, frozen in time for a moment, his eyes roving Percy’s face.

 

Grimacing, Percy cleared his throat. Damn, what was wrong with him? Why would he say that not a week after he’d made Jefferson run for the hills from his backyard? “But I understand that’s not how the rules work.”

 

Animated again, Jefferson gestured broadly.

 

“See, you know the rules. You knew you’d have to go in here with a girl and it’s just...wrong. It’s wrong for you to make any girl believe you could...You can…”

 

Percy’s heart, already run through with cracks, splintered further, the sharp pieces cutting into his lungs. A humourless smile crossed his features. He knew what this was about.

 

“You like Ruby.”

 

“I do not, don’t be ridiculous. We’ve been friends since we were eating sand in the park for heaven’s sake.”

 

“Mhm.” Percy turned on his heel and reached for the door. He’d opened it a few inches when Jefferson’s hand shot past over his shoulder and slammed it shut again. The motion brought him flush against Percy’s back, his breath playing over his neck. It was his turn to freeze in place. Freeze though his insides burned, coiled and yearned in incandescence. His mind conjured the rest of the move, how the other boy would lean in further, press him against the door, set his lips to his neck while his hands gripped his hips. Tug him back to grind his hips against Percy’s from behind and- he cut the trail off the thought, leashed and collared the raging want. 

 

“I mean it, Percy.” With his free hand Jefferson turned him by the shoulder, the other still flat against the door over Percy’s shoulder. Leaning close, his face inches away, Percy fought every instinct inside of him screaming to close the distance and feel Jefferson press him up the door, their lips meeting. “She’s my friend and I won’t let you hurt her.”

 

With that he pulled the door open so Percy stumbled slightly and swept past him, leaving him in the dark, breathing hard. Temper, arousal and sheer disbelief twisted in his stomach and giving in to one of them he slammed the door shut with a satisfying crack. Alone once more in the dark he leaned back against the door, shut his eyes and waited for the pain rolling through him to subside. Like a bell tolling each heartbeat rung in a fresh wave, the meeting echo clashing in a cacophony of desolation. Jefferson was in love with Ruby.

 

o.O.o

 

Temper still smarted inside Jefferson as he stalked out of the house. The porch was empty except for Ruby who was smoking, sitting on the railing at the other end. Hearing him she turned, smiled.

 

“Hey there.”

 

Knowing he should greet her and leave, not let her become an easy target for the anger, he still couldn’t keep himself from approaching. Watching her closely he huffed derisively at Percy thinking he liked Ruby. She was one of his best friends, and sure he was male enough to know she was beautiful but there was just something missing from the puzzle that would have made it a romance. When he looked at her he saw something closer to a sister and the mere thought he’d be into her made his insides shift uneasily. It was because she was like a sister to him that he looked out for her. He always would. And Percy had no right to let her think, even for a moment, that he could be anything but a friend to her.

 

She held out her pack of cigarettes and hesitating only for a moment he accepted, bent close so she could light it for him. Taking a deep drag he leaned back against the wall opposite her.

 

For a minute they smoked in companionable silence before Ruby turned her almost luminescent eyes on him. “So are you going to tell me what the hell is going on between you and Percy?”

 

“Nothing is going on.”

 

“Yeah? Is that why you’ve been avoiding each other like the plague? Why you barely greeted him when you arrived and why you pretty much shoved him into that closet looking like he’d broken some secret oath to you?”

 

“It’s nothing, Lucas. Leave it alone.”

 

“I don’t think so. You’re both my friends and I want to know what’s going on.” She slid down from the railing, crossed to him. Her voice softened as she touched his cheek, peering up at him. “I can see you’re hurting, Jefferson. You might be good at hiding it but I know you. Something is wrong and it’s got something to do with Percy.”

 

“If you have to know I warned him off you. I don’t want you to...get ideas. About Percy.”

 

Ruby frowned, her hand lowering.

 

“You what?”

 

“Percy is…” he reined his temper in, remembered he couldn’t take it upon himself to tell secrets that weren’t his. “...Percy. He wouldn’t ever fall in love with you. I just made sure he knew to leave you well enough alone and not try anything he wouldn’t be able to...follow through.”

 

“You’re such an idiot.”

 

“What?”

 

“First of all, Percy is my friend and it’s insulting to both of us that you’d decide what we can and can’t do. Secondly, I’m a big girl and while I can maybe understand the sentiment know that I can take care of myself. Third, that you’d think Percy would ever hurt me or my feelings is ludicrous and frankly I thought you knew him better than that. I thought you were his friend.”

 

“I am!”

 

“Then start acting like it.”

 

With that she put her cigarette out in a potted plant and swept past him. Stunned, he stood for a second, the bitter sensation of his friend’s temper whipping through him. What the hell was going on, she’d asked him. And though he’d tried to make sense of it he knew that Percy and Ruby were just friends. He knew and still he’d hung his anger on that hanger like it fit. It had just rubbed him the wrong way that Percy was inside that closet with anyone. He was inexperienced, innocent. He wouldn’t know what to do or say and… 

 

Kicking the closest thing to hand, a plastic garden gnome, it clattered over the deck. Tossing his cigarette over the railing, hearing a quick hiss as it sank into the snow he groaned, bent over the banister and stared at the ground. What the hell was wrong with him? Why did he feel like he had a million ants attacking his muscles, his brain? Why did he go through the day feeling like something was wrong? Like a shirt with the button in the wrong button hole, or a stone in your shoe, it was just a nagging, constant annoyance that something was out of place. He even knew what was out of place, it was him. But where he was meant to be stumped him. Worse, and easier to name, was that he missed Percy. He missed how he made him laugh, his dry sarcasm and sharp comments. He even missed the way he smelled, how he filled the silence in his house just by being there, how he’d look when he focused on solving a problem, eyes intent and a small crease between his eyebrows.

 

But he’d decided since the day in the snow it was probably best he took a break from seeing him. Some space. When your friend began invading your most...private moments it was a sign you’d spent too much time together.

 

Letting his frustration take shape, he steered back into the house, pulled the cheerleader from her conversation and leading her up the stairs to the second floor. Giggling, she followed. Finding an unoccupied bedroom, a guest one it seemed, he closed the door and pulled her close. Hoisting her up he pressed her against the door and eagerly she wrapped her long legs around him. Her high heels pressed into the small of his back. Watching her painted lips part in expectation he searched inside for the will to cover them with his. Meeting them mechanically he moved with well-practiced ease, feeling her respond with a sigh. Running his hands up her legs, over the swell of hips to the tightly belted waist he frowned. No exhilarated sparks chased down his nerves, no tightening in his stomach like a fist clenching. Opening his eyes he could see her make-up caked around her eyes, the brittleness of her teased hair. Pulling away he watched her in confusion, like she was someone he’d never met before. Slowly she opened her eyes, gave him a coy smile. Stepping back he set her down, ran a hand through his hair.

 

“You want me somewhere else, handsome?” she put a hand on her hip, angled it suggestively.

 

“No.” He took another step back. “No, I don’t think so.” Then he gently pushed her aside, opened the door and left her spluttering. As if in a fog he descended the stairs, walked through the boisterous party without hearing a thing and got into his car. Speeding down the dark roads he felt something building inside, like an avalanche rolling down a hill, picking up speed, growing. He was helplessly pulled along, thrashing and flailing, more worried about what he would break on the way than where he would end up.

 

Without really remembering how he’d gotten there he opened the door to his room. Collapsing down on his bed he stared up at the ceiling. This made no sense. What was wrong with him?

**Author's Note:**

> The author adores comments and kudos, just so you know. If you feel you don't have anything poignant or perfectly worded to tell me, a headsmash in caps lock on your keyboard makes me happy!


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